RIP #KateSpade -- Icon, Patron Saint of Girly Girls Everywhere...

I'm crushed to hear of the passing of legendary designer Kate Spade. From my first iconic cherry Sam bag to this latest desire, I love everything she designs. I just ordered a new phone case that couldn't be more me. A city girl walking her dog with telltale sparkle. (Swarovski crystals.) Never has a designer understood me like Kate Spade and I am just so gutted to hear of her tragic suicide. Her poor family left behind...
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Depression takes another soul. Insidious bastard. People can look so happy on the outside. They can design cute happy clothes that make us happy to be alive, but the liar that is depression tells them something different inside. Yes, Kate Spade's death will leave a huge hole, but it's like that for any soul who suffers from depression and thinks the world is better off without them. It isn't.

While I'm surprised, I'm not. So many comedians who make our lives so much happier suffer from dark nights of the soul. It isn't easy to overcome and my heart goes out to Kate's family. She will be deeply missed. She made the world a brighter, more sparkly place and what could be better than that? A true legacy that changed store shelves forever.


My first Amish read #WritteninLove

So while I was at the Romantic Times Booksellers' Convention this weekend in Reno, I met Kathleen Freeman. Oh my goodness, I just loved her. And I thought, how does this cool chick write Amish books? Aren't they all bonnets and sans cell phones? Okay, so I'm a little judgy. What can I say? You read the blog. This shouldn't surprise you.


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Anyway, I bought her book, "Written in Love." First off, I'm not an Amish fan. Secondly, I hate "letter" books -- which is why I couldn't finish "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" a book which everyone seems to love, except me. So this book is not only an Amish tale, but it's a letter book. It starts out with the best "meet cute" I've read in a long time and continues in letters.

I LOVED this book. Kathleen is an amazing writer and her grasp of characters is bar none. They are so real, you want to give them a big kiss on the cheek. (Chaste, you know?) . Anyway, there it is folks. My first Amish read and I loved it. Now I'm going to read a ghost story to clear my palette. ("This Heart of Mine" by C.C. Hunter) I also met and loved her. She's such an authentic person. I have a thing for authentic people.


#SplitEnds, a sleeper favorite of my readers is on sale for $0.99 https://amzn.to/2s3WDNkn #HarperCollins #ThomasNelson


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If you haven't read "Split Ends" -- it's one of my readers' favorites even though it's a stand-alone and doesn't have accompanying "friends" book. Either way, it's only 99 cents, so for less than a latte, you can get my book. (Way less than my latte this morning. I got a Venti with soy today.

By the way, you know you spend too much time at Starbucks when the man whose dog you pet every day, says, "Hey, you're late today."

Thanks to Harper Collins Christian for putting this sleeper Chick Lit on sale!


RIP #MargotKidder

Superman with Christopher Reeve was probably the last superhero movie I saw. I'm not a big superhero fan, but oh how I loved these two together. Their chemistry sizzled. I just watched it about two weeks ago and sadly, I knew the dialogue by heart. My kids were making fun of the special effects, but one thing that holds up is the great characterization and actors in that movie.


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Margot was such a great Lois Lane. She even overcame all the bad fashion choices they made for her in those movies. That's not easy. I know she struggled with bipolar though I'm not sure what her cause of death was. I hope she's flying with the angels for real about now.


#SouthernCharm is getting painful to watch...

Southern Charm used to be my favorite show, but it's like watching a "Mad Men" parody. The men on this show are useless. We see none of them work (except maybe Whitney who disappears from the show and makes random appearances when his producer duties kick in and he needs to make an effort.)

T-Rav is disgusting. He really makes me sick to my stomach with his lecherous behavior. I can't imagine what poor Ashley's mother and father feel watching this show. The way Thomas looks at Kathryn is like a cartoon character salivating over an imaginary meal. It just comes off as predatory. Honestly, when he was flirting with Kathryn and ignoring his supposed girlfriend, it was like he was having an out-of-body experience and didn't even know where he was. These poor young girls. I'm so glad Kathryn is waking up, but how he ever got full custody of those kids with his history, I will never understand. I used to enjoy hating on Thomas, but there's a sinister feeling to him this season that does NOT feel enjoyable whatsoever.


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Source: Giphy

What's worse? Shep and Austen sound like 13-year old boys in men's bodies. Please tell me that "Southern Charm" does not represent Charleston because I can't believe this is the best they have to offer.

My girl Naomie apologized. I knew she would. She had a moment -- but I'm still behind her on standing up to JD. Peyton didn't deserve the great "unleashing" but I appreciated that Peyton understood it had nothing to do with her. I love Craig too, but he's got some abusive tendencies too in his words. We have to keep in mind, we're only seeing a small fraction of who these people are. I don't know if Craig and Naomie are just toxic together or if both of them have that latent demon waiting to come out.


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Source: Instagram

I'm hoping it's the former because I love Naomie. I want her to find love. I want Craig to get his act together. I love him too, but I think he might be in need of some Adderall. And Craig, honey, I say that as a fellow ADDer. #NoJudgment

Anyway, I watched this week's episode fast. I had to fast-forward through T-Rav and Ashley making out at the table across from Kathryn. Who the heck does that? Such uncivilized behavior and I know it must be even worse in the South. Truly gag-worthy. And again, is there ANY sentence that comes out of Thomas's mouth that doesn't have a sexual connotation? Dude, get it together. You're getting old. We get it. You think you've still got it. But seriously, gross. Mid-fifties and making out at a table full of people? Okay then.

I love Chelsea, but if she sees a future with Shep or Austen, she nees to rethink life. If those two marry, it will be a long time from now, and I guarantee with someone at least 10 years their junior. Sorry I'm so surly, but I feel like my favorite show got taken over by the anti #MeToo movement. Blech!


It's Finally Release Day! #TheTheoryofHappilyEverAfter

I think I signed the contract for this book at the end of 2015. It feels like an eternity passed until this day is finally here. It's just in time for summer and your frothy beach read. I'm celebrating with a trip to Barnes & Noble. And maybe a new pair of sandals for Italy. (A girl's gotta walk.)

Jenny B. Jones is giving away a copy on Instagram. Follow her here:
https://www.instagram.com/jennybjonesauthor/

You can also follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/chicklitkristin/
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Amazon: https://amzn.to/2Jvplgs
Barnes & Noble
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Christianbook.com


Has #SouthernCharm Jumped the Shark for Me?

It's no secret that I love me some "Southern Charm" -- but the last two episodes have left me with this icky, annoying feeling. First, there was last week opening with that bed scene with Thomas and his new child bride -- ahem, I mean girlfriend. Then, there was this week with "guy's night out" at the local bar where we got to see the pick-up styles of old-school Thomas, which harkens back to a time when bosses slapped their secretaries on the behinds and told them to run along now.

First off, as someone near Thomas's age, I find it really creepy that he hangs out in bars with twenty and thirty-year-olds. Since I have CHILDREN this age and don't date people this age, I keep thinking of myself hanging out in a bar with my boys and trying to pick up their friends. It's disgusting! I understand that it's a TV show and the old dudes came up with the concept, so they get to be in on the "fun." But it's just not so enjoyable to me to watch lecherous old dudes hitting on young women. I was a young woman once, and I remember those creeps.

On that note, Ashley, honey. Why do you allow a man to disrespect you so badly? Your ancient boyfriend stands behind you at a party and frames your bum with his hands to his friends and tells them, "I like a tiny hiney." It is VOMIT inducing. Didn't your daddy tell you how precious and beautiful you are? You're better than this. No woman should be treated like that, but in these times of the #MeToo movement, even more so.


When I was 24, I began dating my husband. He looked really young for his age, but when he told me he was 33, I was like, "HE'S SOOOOO OLD!" I can't even imagine what someone in their 50's would feel like to a woman that age. I shudder at the thought. When Thomas talks about the moon landing, that event would probably be before Ashley's parents even met and married. Does she know we landed on the moon?

My kids were raised on a steady diet of '80's trivia and classic rock from the 70's, so I'd like to think they're more well-rounded than the average 20-year olds -- but still, what does a person in their 50's have in common with someone in their 20's? Besides the obvious, I mean.

And what about Thomas Ravenel giving dating advice to JD? Dude, he's not divorced yet and he's the father of four young kids. He's not exactly prime dating material BECAUSE HE IS STILL ACTUALLY MARRIED. The way Thomas just thinks JD needs to go to the gym and leave behind the life he created with Liz is weird. Most men take care of their families. Even if they leave them. Unlike Thomas, who pays for Ashley's apartment after a week of knowing her, but lets the mother of his two kids walk around with a busted iPhone. That says a lot about character. Even if Kathryn was an egg donor and surrogate, she would have fared better than falling in love with Thomas and having his children. Think about that. It's like what, $30k an egg now?

Last night just left me grossed out. Why is Bravo allowing this gold ol' boys mentality on their supposedly forward-thinking network?

Well, maybe it's just a have/have-not way of thinking. I mean, poor Michael had to massage Cameron's feet last night. I did love this video with her explaining that she felt no pain or remorse. LOL




Kristin, Domestic Goddess

My grandmother was truly a domestic goddess. She cooked. She baked. She sewed. And to her credit, she tried to teach me, her only granddaughter to do all of these things. I am without excuse. I learned, but I never took to it. I cook like an Italian, throwing everything in and taste-testing. She measured things -- this is why I can't bake to save my life.

So my daughter bought a prom dress that I adore, but it had this sheath of lace that allowed for cleavage. Um, I'm against cleavage, especially on a teenage girl, so this meant, I had to sew. Let me be clear, I took it to the seamstress first, but she said I had to pick out the fabric and bring it back to them. Seriously? If I have to do all that, I will sew it myself.

So I went to the fabric store and waited in line with all the crafty people. Then, I took out the trusty sewing box that my grandmother bought me as a child.

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And I sewed a little piece of flesh-colored fabric behind the flesh-colored lace. Voila! We had a dress ready for primetime at the Christian Senior Prom. However, this is my daughter, so that wasn't good enough. The waistline is itchy. "Can you sew in something to make it not itchy?"

Can I? We shall see. You know what I can do? I can write a book, paint and quote Austen. Why are we never appreciated for what we CAN do as parents? I'll grant you, those are pretty useless skills as a parent, but I think there is ONE meal that all my kids will eat anyway -- roast chicken or Thanksgiving dinner. Everything else, they complain about. One likes this, the other likes that. Cooking for six picky people for two decades will put anyone off cooking.

My dad is taking a cooking class in Italy. You know what I love about my dad? He didn't even ask me to join them. He knows. Cooking is not fun for me. Eating, that's another story. Anyway, today I'm making a satin sash to go inside my daughter's dress so she doesn't itch. Normal moms probably wouldn't need to brag on this. But I do, because I am fulfilling my grandmother's dream for me. Perhaps one day, I'll pull out the unused cookie gun she bought me for my 40th birthday and really prove my worth. Anything can happen.


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One of these things just doesn't belong here...

Remember that old "Sesame Street" song? My friend sent me this today. I guess my book (The Theory of Happily Ever After) is out early in some Christian stores. Anyway, I do love how all the OTHER covers are serious and elegant. And there's mine -- cartoons and 80's neon colors. If that doesn't describe me to a "T" and how I fit in, well, I don't know what does.


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#TheTheoryOfHappilyEverAfter


My thoughts on #SouthernCharmNOLA

I tend to Tweet WAY too often and perhaps obsess over "Southern Charm." I'm like Trump when this show comes on -- I cannot stay away from the Twitter!

So while I tried to stomach "Southern Charm Savannah" that was not happening for me. I had no connection to the cast whatsoever. So I was excited to hear about "Southern Charm New Orleans." I love New Orleans, the food, the art, the houses -- it's just a beautiful city. The houses in this show are AMAZING. One has this suspended staircase that is to-die-for gorgeous. It also has a creepy carving of the Madame that ran a brothel there in another era, but that's beside the point.

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I liked "Southern Charm Nola" -- I thought the cast of characters was interesting and definitely more diversified, which is nice. And normal. However, after watching last night, I'm really upset about the lack of care toward the marriages on the show.

The lawyer with the voice is moving to a pied-à-terre and leaving her husband across Lake Pontchartrain. Girl, no. If you have a husband who looks like him, the last thing you want to take is "space." That's just stupid. Build your career, but take your man with you or blame yourself when he leaves.

Then, we have Barry and Tamika -- she talks way too much about personal information and I hope she's kidding when she does. Because Barry does not seem to be treated well.

Then, you have artist Jon who thinks it's okay to invite all his married friends over with single women and naked models. Dude, all that will do is shut down your friendships. No wife wants their man hanging with someone who is trying to sabotage their marriage.

On a happy note, everyone on the show is drop-dead gorgeous and the lifestyle is not hard to covet. That's always good for a reality show. But ladies, really, show some appreciation for your southern gentlemen.