Girly Girl by Author Kristin Billerbeck

Made of Honor...Not

Have you seen this movie, "Made of Honor"?  In all fairness, I'm not a big McDreamy fan, so make him a womanizing user and you don't exactly have hero material for me.  But that wasn't the worst of it!  I love the new red-headed doc on "Grey's Anatomy" and he was in the movie.  As a complete dork.  That annoys me.

This movie is what's wrong with Hollywood's version of the romantic comedy -- they refuse to acknowledge how men and women really work.    Women don't feel like we get the big prize when some guy is done using all his other women.  Eww.  Guys who are misogynists don't suddenly change their tune for the right woman.

Where are the real heroes in today's romances?  Here's some movies with Alpha males, who can be pigs, but in the end, they rescue our heroine from love.  And it doesn't work when they break up a wedding, that just makes you feel bad for the other person.  This is the model that works, Hollywood:

Runaway Bride

Bridget Jones's Diary

Dirty Dancing

You've Got Mail

Pretty Woman

As Good As It Gets

When Harry Met Sally (though yes, Billy Crystal is hard to see as alpha)

Beta Males that Work:

Sleepless in Seattle

Moonstruck

It's a Wonderful Life

27 Dresses

Come on, get on the stick or I'm going to have to write a screenplay and I'm not good at that format.

I loved this story...

You hit a what?

I heard it on the radio yesterday.  A couple is traveling on a rural highway in Oklahoma and sideswipes an elephant!  Seriously, an elephant!  It had escaped from a visiting circus and luckily, they didn't hit it head-on, but all I could think is, "I wonder if Rene Gutteridge was out!"  Because Rene is funny because she has the same kind of luck that Diann Hunt and I do -- an she lives in Oklahoma, so it's only natural that I would think Rene was involved.  (She wasn't.)

But seriously, what are the chances...

(The elephant lost a tusk, but is going to be fine.)

 
 

Why I need to work...

I usually take Friday mornings off.  This week was really busy because of dentist/orthodontist's appointments, nine soccer practices and two dinner hours every night.  In other words, I was sick of the week already, but I still had two soccer practices to get to tonight.  I went to the movies this morning to see "A Christmas Carol" -- I am a huge Dickens' fan -- but I don't care for Jim Carey.  And they made Colin Firth look ugly, so not my favorite, but still worth seeing because you know, it's Dickens -- and the tale is classic, classic...anyway, back to my point.  When I take time off, somehow my brain gets all jumbled up and I lose focus.  This has consequences.

It's cold.  We all know I hate the cold.  So I picked up my daughter, dropped off son #1's soccer equipment, rushed home and took a bath to warm up.  Then, I ran out the door with son #3 for his soccer -- and to get a coffee.  Only, I sort of forgot to button my shirt.  Okay, the good news is that I had all the important stuff covered.  The bad news is that I had a bare midriff and I've had four kids -- and I am not Heidi Klum.  The good news is that I sat in the car and waved to the soccer coach -- therefore, my faux pas went unnoticed.  The bad news is I needed a double shot over ice and hit Starbucks.  This is the Starbucks across from Apple, and it is PACKED on Friday nights when all the geeks bring their Priuses and Segways over for a nightcap and a possible date (yeah right), but I walk in and as I go through the door, the breeze lifts up my shirt and I see my belly button.  In public.  ACK!!!  Now, tell me.  How do you casually button your shirt in public?  Do you turn around and go back to the car?  Do you try to be coy?  What?  I'm unsure of protocol here.

But I did learn a valuable lesson.  Baths should not be rushed.  And I need to work and keep my mind active.  Days off are a bad idea.  I may have scarred some engineers.

Katy Perry's Good Choice...

So I'm going to focus on the positive.  At the MTV Europe awards, Katy made some questionable choices, but this one was impeccable.  A pink Marchesa gown:

 
 

Pam Meyers Sent me a Bachelorette Funny...

Bachelorguinette

When you're watching, check and see if that doesn't look like the real Juan!

Warning: It might be offensive!!!  Stuff is beeped out, but it's still offensive, so be warned.

Addressing the Haters...

So I got a comment yesterday that said I'm clearly not a Christian.  That I'm like one of the liberals who calls up and says I'm a conservative while saying "you suck".  Okay...

Well, the comment was made on a blog about how I don't fit into natural Christian circles.  And I don't.  That's my life experience.  I'm sorry if it offends you that this is my world experience, but that's it.  I put it out here.  I never said I didn't like Christians -- not ever.  I said I do not naturally fit into their world.  And the fact is, I'm too clueless to know when I should shut up.

Perfect example:  yesterday we're having a discussion on modern books/characters that are the first characters who come to mind.  A lot of people say nice Christian heroines, children's books that spoke to them, etc.  I, not having looked at other people's answers, and yes, I should have, but I said, "Meggie Cleary & Father Ralph from The Thorn Birds." 

Don't you think it would be easier if I thought of a Christian character first? Rather than a woman who ignites a priest's passions?  Well yes, naturally.  But that's not my truth.  My truth is that I am ignited by the idea of a love so powerful that it's life-consuming and breaks all the rules.  That's my God.  And I make no apologies for it.  I yam who I yam.  Hate me if you must.  Tell me I'm not a Christian -- whatever -- luckily, it's not for you to say.

My definition of a Christian:  I believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.  That He suffered, died and was buried for my sins.  If yours is different, take it up with someone who cares.

 
 

Things Novelists do While Their Novels Go Unwritten

The Best Things in Life are Free!

Granted, good handbags are pretty great, but they're not the best.  Yesterday, I finally ventured up to my old neighborhood and ran the park behind my old house.  I ran into a friend who hikes dogs for a living, and I hiked with her for about 4.5 miles -- and it seemed all uphill.  Honestly, I love being up there.  It just makes me come alive.  The view is perfect, the walk is exquisite and it's open to me daily.  I can walk there for a simple drive.  Big deal.  I don't have my view or my house, but I do have what I love about it.  It's my fault if I don't take advantage of it. 
 

Happy Birthday Adam! (Stuart Goddard)

It's Adam Ant's birthday.  

See, this is why I can't remember important things like long division.  My head is all full-up with pop culture references that will not be erased.  Plus, I am just happy I get to post Adam's picture. 
 

Yes, Zappos is the answer to most of life's questions...

So yesterday on "Oprah" she had a makeover show on people who needed shoe and handbag interventions.  Let me preface this by saying no one in MY life needs shoe and handbag interventions because I have taken care of them.  Colleen has an awesome bag, my mother has great shoes and a handbag.  My friends get my castoffs.  No one in my life is going to walk around with an ugly handbag.  Not on my watch.

These people who walk around with backpacks as handbags -- they're foreigners to me.  I can't imagine a world where one doesn't care about their handbag.  You know, DH and I did a money book together and one of the questions was "What's your first memory of money?"  Okay, his was getting a dollar from his grandmother and running to hide it.  Mine was my grandpa giving me coins to put into the new suede purse he bought me. This is a question to ask any future spouse.  Got it girls?  If their memory is running off to hide money?  There is going to be conflict when you want a new handbag.  

So Zappos has my heart because when I was in Auburn with no phone, and no mailbox, Zappos brought the loot to my door.  I will forever love them and they rock for service.  But here's the thing about Oprah's intervention that I don't get about other women.  If you, for example, have cankles, how do you not learn to disguise the cankles in a lifetime of living with them?  Why does it take an intervention at 50?  Are you awake?  

Listen, I have had "booty" my entire life, even when I was thin as a rail.  Do you not think I ran right out when Beyonce suggested "Joe's Jeans"?  I called them when they were small, and they fitted me over the phone!  (Those are still my favorite pair too!)  I mean, what girl with booty doesn't know the waist is too big on their jeans and it's a problem that should be addressed?

I don't understand the passive mindset, I really don't.  I'm equally dumbfounded by women with chests as large as my head considering themselves "Cs" in bras, but I'm not going to intervene there.  But let's say one thing.  If your chest meets your waist?  It's time to go get fitted at Nordy's.