Girly Girl by Author Kristin Billerbeck

That's Entertainment

I'm easily amused.  This morning my kids and I were early.  (Miracle!) So I got my mocha early.  There were plenty of parking spots, but for my own entertainment, I pulled my SUV between two Priuses.  Even though I had to wriggle out of the car like a sardine, it was totally worth it!  The guy was sitting in his car, chatting on his iPhone and everything.  Score! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saving the earth and taking care of what God is given us.  I'm just not okay with cliques and this one-size-fits-all way of life. 

On another note about being easily amused.  If you think I'm bad, you should meet my best friend.  My DH cannot stand to be around the two of us because we've known each other since we were five, and we basically act that age when we're together.  This weekend over lunch, Beth had an inspired idea.  "Let's take the boys out bowling together." 

If my boys were mortified with me swaying to "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?", Beth and I together might be therapy-worthy.  Hey, it builds character!

I ran into a teacher at my son's giant Jr. High and he asked my kid's name, but he said, "I probably won't know him."  He did.  He said, "Oh that Trey.  He is the happiest kid.  I love Trey.  Always smiling, always happy, but why don't you ask him about the glue on the chair in woodshop?"

I think I've passed my easily-amused trait on.

You Just Don't Get it!

I read a book by one of my favorite authors this weekend.  I don't want to mention her name, but she is a Pulitzer winner and an incredible author.  Hated the book.  Hated it.  Felt like I wasted my whole day (which actually was a nice feeling!)  Anyway, the book didn't have a likable protagonist.  On purpose.  He slipped into his imaginary world and lived his life on the cusp of reality, then somehow attracts this younger woman and two families are broken. 

I'm not sure if the book had a point, but it was one of those books that ends and you look for the rest of the pages.  So I went on Amazon to see what other people said.  Most people felt the same as I did, but there is always that person who is out to prove their intellect.  Who needs to tell you that you're an idiot if "you didn't get it".  Whatever.  I'm an idiot.  It was still a waste of time.

But that kind of person intrigues me -- like they are in on this great secret and if only you possessed their IQ, you too might have enjoyed the book. They don't explain why they liked the book, only how people who didn't are inferior. There's no room for you liked it, I didn't.  It's only if you didn't like it, you're not an intellectual.  Pass the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle. 

The thing that really gets me is, why these people think you WANT to be like them.  I mean, most likely their friends are as boring as they are.  What do you think these people do for fun?  Other than make fun of us?

A Spahh Day!

I had the best day yesterday!  While my oldest son had soccer, the younger three and I went to ride our bikes.  We played this game of chicken on this balance pole (thank you Wii Fit!), went out to lunch with DH, then came home and read on my beautiful porch.  I love that back porch.  It's like an outdoor room with a little running fountain.  I mean, if you look over the kids' shoes, it's downright spa-like. 

I read until church, we BBQd -- just a fabulous day.  So imagine my surprise when hubby wants to get out today.  He wants to move, maybe go to the beach, hike.  I get it.  We did what I love yesterday, it's only fair.  But he has this alarm clock that makes beach sounds.  I asked him, "Can't you just bring that on the back porch and we can visualize the beach?" 

Hiking is on the table again.  He should have married a goat. 

The kids and I go all week.  We like to lounge on the weekends.  To DH, that means moving consistently.  I ask you, how is that relaxing?  Anyway, I got saved.  Haven't seen my BFF since Christmas and she texted me for lunch today.  I come back happy when I lunch, so DH is good for a couple hours, and then we'll hike the hills behind the house.  IT's all good, right?  Opposites do attract -- even if one is a mountain goat and the other is a sloth.  : )

Why I love California

Writers live in their own heads a lot of the time.  I love to be somewhere with my head in a book, but really, I'm listening and watching what's going on around me.  Oh I'm reading too, but I have one of those minds, and every once in a while, I'll have to look up to see if the picture matches the one in my head.

Today I was at the car wash and there are these little kids running wild, and soon, into my view totters these cheetah print stilettos.  It's the mom!  She has on a skin tight pencil skirt, wrap-around cheetah stilettos and three kids under three (one in a baby bucket).  You don't have to be a writer to wonder, why?  Why did she need to come to the car wash?  Did someone barf in the car on the way to a funeral?  Is this the way she dresses all the time to chase after these kids.  (They are not listening to her at all, and she is yelling constantly).  But here's the good part.  The "Stars...they're just like us" part.  Her daughter's name?  PARIS!

I mean, that's like a Christian naming their kid Jezebel, isn't it? 

So after the car wash, I drive on over to Peet's to get myself an afternoon pick-me-up.  There's an older Asian man who races me to the door, opens it, lets himself in and rushes to order before me.  LOL  Outside, there's a beatnik playing bongos at the tables while he enjoys his coffee. I realized this place is a gold mine.  Where else are you going to find this collection of weirdos that makes up California?  It's characterization at its best.

Hello? Anybody Home?

Madonna is adopting another baby from Malawi.  A single mother with six kids and no job has eight more.  Angelina seems to pick up kids like they're souvenirs. 

You know what all these people are missing?  An Italian family to slap them upside the head and say, "Snap out of it!"  We called that the "kabosh" in my family and you know, it works.  Where is anyone's accountability today?  It's all just a free-for-all.  You've got the money, pick up a kid -- where is the honor for what motherhood is?  It is not pawning them off on a nanny while you fly around the world to act/sing.

I am not anti-nanny.  When I had four under five, I had help.  And the kids do knew who mommy was, I was there, but where is the stability for these children?  The mommy?  The Daddy?  Are they really better off with money?  How many memoirs are in the making?  It's so sad what a selfish society we've become, isn't it?  Children are like charms on a bracelet.

I am so pro-adoption, especially when it's better for the child -- but let's be clear about what that is, it's two parents in a loving household, not just people with money.  The best adoptive parents I know struggled like heck to get the money together to get their child.  They weren't putting together a quilt!

Everybody's a Comedian...

But seriously, my barista is, and he's performing live in a few weeks at the Improv.  I think if I had the guts to do anything, that would be it: stand-up. 

It's one thing to get rejection on a book after the fact, but wow, with stand-up, you're right there.  You get the rejection immediately.  Don't know if I could deal with that -- or worse yet, polite laughter.  The thing is, I couldn't stay awake to do that for a job anyway, so I guess that's a good thing, but I love to laugh.  Always have.

I met a woman yesterday with back trouble, and I told her about MBT's (those funky shoes that are great for your back.)  She said she didn't mind if they were ugly.  I told her, "You must not have teenagers." 

She didn't.  Teenagers are mortified by everything, and I so love that!  It gives me such power.  We went bowling the other day and Boy George comes on with the disco lights, "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?"  I sauntered down the lane in my bad bowling shoes, just like he does in the video and danced my way to bowl.  My boys put their jackets over their heads.  LOL 

I have to pick them up away from the school, and there's this girl whose mother walks her to school.  Now there are a bajillion kids on this street, all clumped together and one mom.  Every time my kids see her, they're like, "That is SO embarrassing!"

I told them, "It's nice, she loves her daughter and wants to keep her safe."
"She's making her a freak, Mom. She's in eighth grade!"
Point taken.  I was 14 once.

So if there were no holds, no restrictions, what would you do with your life? 

Oh I caught my bobcat again yesterday, see his little tail?  My camera took too long.

Tina Fey is my Hero!

So my mom told me I had to watch "30 Rock" because that woman sounds "just like you".  I have to admit, I didn't watch before because I am not an Alec Baldwin fan, but oh. my. gosh.  That show is hilarious and irreverent.  I could do without Salma Hayek's boobs.  No one is going to care if that woman's face ages because I don't think anyone has actually seen her face.  You know, I was on a plane once and she was in a movie -- strike that, her chest was in a movie.  Seriously, every time I looked up (and I have no idea what the movie was) there was Salma in all her cleavaged glory!

Anyway, back to the point, Tina Fey is hysterical.  I LLOOVE her character, and oh my gosh, the date with the guy from "Mad Men" was absolutely brilliant.  She made stew and replaced the water with cheese.  ROFLOL  Needless to say, it has consequences that you don't want on a first date.  I must have watched that episode three times, and I cracked up every single time. 

I'm not a big fan of the Tracy Jordan portions.  Except for his smart-mouthed son.  Love that kid.  So I take it as a compliment that Tina Fey talks "Just like me" even if it does mean my mother thinks I'm neurotic and strange.  I'll take that as a compliment.

Indiana Jones is a Hero!

So after 7-1/2 years together, Harrison Ford has finally proposed to Calista Flockhart.  Do you think he's worrying about dying?  That no one will care?  What's that about, do you think? 

I get that marriage doesn't seem to mean anything to Hollywood, but you know, I think age does.  They've used their looks and fame as their currency and let's face it, the dollar has fallen. 

What I don't get is why women are willing to wait around for a guy's second best.  Today, on Oprah Steve Harvey is talking about his book, "Act like a Woman, Think Like a Man".  His theory is that a guy who doesn't give you a title after six months (She's my girlfriend, she's my finance, she's my...)  If he doesn't take some ownership, he's just not that into you.  Lose him. 

So by those standards, Harrison is 7 years too late.  I think Prince William is too late too.  He needs to lose that Kate or make some kind of commitment.  Why do we as women settle for that?  When we could be with someone who enjoys our company, rather than working so hard for the wrong guy?  Don't get that. 

The Survivors Club

I've been working on a book about emotional abuse in the church.  Right now, that baby is going nowhere, but yesterday Oprah had on men (all Christians interestingly) who had physically abused their wives/girlfriends.  They claimed that the emotional abuse gave them more power and lasted longer than the beatings.  One of the men even gave an example of how he could slowly break apart her beliefs in herself.  It was chilling.

You know what changed him?  Understanding a Man could be spit on, kicked and loved him enough to take it all and die for others.  He understood Love after that.  Isn't that powerful? 

Another Christian man on the show, who works to end abuse, said this isn't a problem that will be solved by women.  It's going to take men stepping up and calling to account other men on their behaviors and thoughts.  It made me sad because the key issue for all of these men was owning their mistakes, and I think that's hard for a lot of men.  The servant role is not something our churches teach men (at least not out here that I've seen.) 

So it's a call to arms, and I feel more strongly than ever about this book, but I have no idea what God's plans are for it, or me, at the moment.  I only know this is an issue that brings up all my passion because I believe in men as head of their families and I want to see Christian men leading the way. 

Do you know that scene in "Cinderella Man" where Russell Crowe, who will be working on the docks all day and fighting at night, gives his only slice of meat to his hungry daughter?  I want us as Christians to look like that.  To be willing to fight for those who can't fight for themselves. 

Have you ever been at a Christian party where a man was downright rude to his wife?  Did your spouse say anything?  These former abusers are saying it's time to stop an epidemic, and only men can do it.

Be careful little fingers what you type!

Remember I said I was coming out??  Well, today is really hot (like 75) and my MS is acting up big time, so I used the handicapped placard, and I think someone at my kids' school called the cops on me because they were waiting there when I came out.  I had to show him my proof, and say out loud, I have multiple sclerosis and it's my registration.  I'm telling you, it SOOO bugged me to say out loud, like it made it true and how dare you mess with my denial.  I was feeling very anti-establishment!  But it's out, and someone at my daughter's school really needs to get a life, but that's another story.