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Instant Bachelorette Recap

False headline actually.  I missed half of it watching "It's Complicated".  So I tuned in when Ally is on her Vegas date with Jesse. Now it's easy to believe in Prince Charming when you look at Jesse and know he understands how to wield a nail gun.  Brings new meaning to the saying, "It's Hammertime !" Jesse-Headshot

Ali looks really tired in this episode.  Is it just me?  Give the girl a Vitamin B shot.  Next she has a conversation with Chris, who was my favorite from the start.  He's the one from Maine.  I'm not so thrilled with him this week. He's too subdued.

Roberto is not only a salsa dancer and very good looking, but he's been a baseball player.  

Ali is pushing Casey away, and I feel for the guy.  She's clearly not interested.  There's nothing worse than watching that, other than ignoring it to make yourself feel better.  

I didn't see Frank's date, so maybe you can fill me in, but she's very talkative with him and connected. They're cute together, and let's face it, I'd like to see Ali move into Frank's mommy's basement.

Craig and the Weatherman drama cracks me up.  My personal assessment is that the two of them are more into each other and that whole "anger/make up romance" relationship.  Let's face it, they've put a lot more into each other, than Ali.  Craig's Ronald McDonald hairstyle gets to me. 

Jonathan's whining does not go over well with Ali.  The guys really should have taken some clues from the Ali/Vienna trauma.  So then, Ali discusses the situation with Craig.  Who says, and I quote, "Fer sure."  Okay, I think he's gay and not comfortable with it yet.  Ali wants to know why he hasn't asked a question about her.  Um, because he's gay.  And probably angry because he can't admit it.

Upon hearing he's "dangerous", Craig gets crazy eyes and denies everything and yet, answers nothing.  Good job Craig.  Ali says, "I'm glad we had this talk." Read:  Dude, enough of wasting my precious princess time.  Okay, I know where I've seen Craig's hair before...it was Saturday Night...Fever!

  Images
Barry Gibb

Craig loves conflict.  He really is on the wrong show.  He belongs on the Housewives of NYC.  Take another chug of beer and chillax.  

Chris N reminds me of Norman Bates.  Ali's probably too young to have seen "Pyscho" but she might want to watch it before picking him again.

Spoiler alert:

The weatherman is staying.  And our scary Bee Gee is going home.  Tyler is going home.  He had a great attitude that if she wasn't feeling it, it wasn't there.  You know, Craig really bothers me.  He is a cold-hearted person -- when he hugs her, there's not an ounce of warmth in him.  Narcissist, thy name is Craig.  He should have stopped by the fountain on his way out. 

And...I still don't care.  

 Glee Season Finale tomorrow.  WOOOHOOO! 


I think what worries me the most as an author, is the lack of appreciation that the ebook formats have for the quality of publishing. I don't want a $9 book if it's not edited, I don't have the beautiful artwork of an attractive cover, etc. There is an art to the book that I don't want to see disappear.


The Book is Dead...

So says the Sacramento Bee today.  The book is dead, and its only use is going to be as decoration in your homes.  To this I say, BITE ME!

The book will never be dead, and do you know why?  Because book lovers are book lovers.  Sure, my mom has a Kindle and she buys her books on the Kindle, but then, when a favorite author comes out, she has to get a "real" copy.  

As an avid bath reader, the book will never be dead for me.  Even if they made the Kindle/iPad/Nook waterproof.

Book lovers enjoy the artistry of a book.  There is nothing better than rough-edged pages, or cute typeface and doilies between chapters to match a book's theme. It makes me feel a part of it.  I interface with a book.  Not so much the Kindle and that doesn't mean it doesn't have its place.  But it simply won't replace the book.  

Book lovers have their favorite way to read that an electronic device can't duplicate.  For example, I read "trade paperbacks" and "hardbacks" -- I hate the feel of mass market size. It doesn't feel worthy to me.  There's nothing more special than cracking open that hardback from a favorite author.

And what about covers?  I love a good cover.  Like a shiny thing in the water to a fish, so is the gorgeous cover that speaks to me in a bookstore.  The fact is, half my book purchases are never planned, but like a shark has to attack their chum bucket, I must go after that cover.

  Photo on 2010-05-31 at 13.16 #3    

 
(My new Bible so I can carry it around for the devotional book I'm writing.  Cute cover or what?) 

Online shopping is great for books I know I want.  Let's say I've read a review, or there's a subject matter I want to read.  Online is great for that.

But there are a TON of books that I don't know I want to read until I "see" them and read the first page.  Current examples:

  41IF7nUQnKL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_
 I picked this one up after reading its endorsements and the first place.  So far, no regrets!

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Let me say that I hate this cover.  Abhor it.  But I love Augusten Burroughs, and my current book is about an abusive father.  I prefer to read REAL stories when I'm doing research and so I picked this one up knowing that's what it was about. I LOVE Augusten's voice.  He is not for everyone, and his language is rough, so if you're faint of heart, don't pick him up and nag me.  He's the author of "Running with Scissors".  You've been warned.

Finally, I didn't know I wanted to read Jen Lancaster's new book.  I have loved her past books with the exception of the last one because it was about sorority life and I couldn't care less about sorority life.  Didn't care about it in college, care even less now.  But I love her new idea about pursuing growth and intellect and leaving the reality TV behind.  And I could not resist the cover:

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Mostly, I'm a book lover because nothing feels like a book.  Nothing looks like a book.  Nothing else hangs in my house like a trophy other than a book I've read and loved. Then, there is another dangerous book edition that can't be duplicated on a machine.  That is, when a beloved book gets a new cover.  I can't resist owning ALL of the versions.  I have multiple versions of "The Accidental Tourist", "Redeeming Love", "The Thorn Birds" and more.

  Redeeming-love
I also own antique original versions of "Far from the Madding Crowd", "a first English version of "Camille" and "Rebecca".  The book is dead. Only for those who find "Family Guy"  high art. 


Reaping what we sow: Dennis Hopper

The other day my son and I were out and there was a young girl sweeping the outside of a coffee shop and wearing a brand name sweatshirt.  My son said, "How does she afford that if she's sweeping for a living."

I told him, there is no harm in honest work and the answer is, we buy what we value.  When I was in college, I had a $200 buttery-leather Kenneth Cole bookbag.  Let's contrast that with the fact that I chose to live with three other girls to share the rent, and my share was -- TA DAAH $200 a month.

When I heard that Dennis Hopper had cancer, naturally I felt bad.  When I heard that he chose to spend his last days fighting a bitter custody/divorce battle to make sure his wife of 14 years got nothing, I ran out of a lot of sympathy.

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 She probably did marry him for money.  She's gorgeous.  He's 32 years older than her, and by many accounts, a total jerk.  Does that mean she's not entitled to why she put up with you for fourteen years?  I contend, that as his fifth wife, she EARNED that money.  Here's a man battling cancer at 74 and yet fighting to win custody of a young son -- for what?  Spite?  How's he going to parent a child from the hospital?  My point here is that Dennis Hopper spent money on what he valued -- and that was winning. Regardless of who it hurt.  I'm sorry he's dead and all, but let's contrast that with Princess Beatrice's boyfriend...

Fergie.  The original Fergie, not that chick who ruins the Black Eyed Peas, the original Fergie did a bad thing because she was desperate.  I'm sorry, but I would not want to mess with that royal family.  They seem cruel and heartless to me.  Fergie only got the money of what any Navy Officer in England would have gotten -- not any part of being a Royal.  And you know, she had two royal daughters.  All I'm saying is, let her live decently.  She was disgraced enough being part of that family.  Called The Duchess of Pork and worse.  

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Look at this beautiful girl she raised and her darling boyfriend.  You don't get nice kids like this unless you did some work.  So can we just say that the Royal Family continues to look royal because Fergie worked hard to raise her girls right.  Hear that Grandma?  But this is so sweet, the Princess' boyfriend is offering to help Sarah Ferguson out of her financial woes.  In the end, who do you want to be like?  Dennis Hopper or gorgeous Dave Clark here, who is showing the reality that people come before money.

So there's no harm in a hard day's work, but when that work is to destroy or devalue someone you vowed to love, I'm not exactly sorry for you.


An Ashley Stockingdale Day...

I'm having an Ashley day.  This morning, I got up bright and early to head to my parents for the long weekend.  I went through a drive-thru Starbucks and when I got up to the window, the guy was sorta holding back laughter.  I turned down my music.  I'm in an ethnic area, I'm a white girl, and I'm listening to "Glee's" Gold Digger.  If you don't know the song, it's about women getting pregnant on purpose to "trap" baby daddies for cash.  "She was supposed to buy Tyco with your money, instead she bought lipo with your money."  

There's something totally cute about Matthew Morrison singing this song.  Anyway, I assumed that's why the guy was laughing.  But then, I'm further up the road, chatting with my BFF on the speaker phone at a stop sign when I notice my two front teeth are literally covered with red lipstick.  I mean, it actually looked like I put it on my teeth rather than my lips.  Or like I'm on a magazine cover and someone blacked out the teeth, you know? Only they used red marker.

Anyhoo, I was glad I was on the phone with Beth so she could laugh with me.  She invited me to the Retrodome tonight.  They're having a double feature of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" with "The Breakfast Club" -- how fun does that sound?  

But I'm here now.  Just finished arguing politics with my dad, which is always a wasted effort on both our parts.  Though I'm right, he's very wrong.  I'll respect his idiot beliefs because he's my daddy.  : )  Now I'm going to download, "You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up" on my mom's Kindle and settle in for the afternoon.  And tonight, I'll write Chapter 3 in my rewrite.  Hope you're all having a special three day weekend.  I saw my Grandpa and favorite Veteran.  He gave me M&Ms -- it's still great, whether you're five or ahem, older.


It's Swimsuit Season!

And as an over-40 chick, I say WHO CARES!?!  What a great feeling.  I finished my rewrite on my second chapter this morning and now I'm working on devotionals for an upcoming comical collection and I thought, this is the perfect job for me.  As I read online about Sarah Jessica Parker's hands being old and veiny, I thought, my hands are SUPPOSED to look old and veiny.  I type all day.

Who would want a job where you're judged by a twenty year-old's standards when you're in your 40's.  Listen, if they're warning viewers about your looks in HD, I would totally find another line of work.  I need that why?  

Honestly, I think it's a curse to be known for your beauty.  It's like we won't allow you to age.  The other day I was watching Oprah and Cher was on.  I'm not sure how old Cher is, other than I think she's in her sixties, but if you're old enough to remember the "Turn Back Time" video, she is frolicking in a barely-there outfit on an aircraft carrier, I think.  Her bum is out there for the world to see, and you know, it's a great bum.  But I don't want to see it.  Not then, not now.  But especially not now, and her outfit in Vegas looked WAY too much like her 80s video.  But sadly, her body didn't.

This is why you need a good relationship with your kids.  They'll say to you, "Uh Mom, no." 

And someone should really say that to Cher.  And Raquel Welch and Sophia Loren.  In another life, you were beauty queens -- and you're still beautiful.  But you're not the twenty-year old in a bikini anymore.  It's good to move on.  It's healthy.  Madonna looks great for ANY age, but especially for her age, but there's something so desperate to hanging on to one's youth.  It's going to get you at some point.  This is why we're supposed to develop character -- and not just our abs.

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A Lifetime of Romanticizing the 40's...

  Notorious
I love the 40's era.  Love that the men were men and the women were strong enough to run the country while those manly men were off fighting a war.  My favorite song has always been "In the Mood" from Glenn Miller -- even when I was in my Adam Ant phase.  And I spent most Saturday afternoons watching AMC and the classic films.  There are two things I love about classic movies.  One, they shut the door, so they focus on the romance and not the sex scene.  Two, the stars were really stars.  Not like today where Ashton Kucher plays a spy.

A movie STAR has presence.  Don't believe me?  Try and watch a film with Ingrid Bergman and take your eyes off her.  It wasn't that she was beautiful, but of course, she is, it was that she took that "it" factor to a new level.  And...they could act.  In "Gone with the Wind" '39, Vivien Leigh (Scarlett O'Hara) said that Clark Cable (Rhett Butler) had the worst breath imaginable.  I cannot watch that scene with her in the green hat without thinking, Scarlett had to ACT that romance out.

Burt Lancaster is not all that fantastic-looking and the swimsuit they made him don for "From Here to Eternity" leaves a lot to be desired in the masculinity department.  But watch that scene and tell me if you cannot imagine Burt carrying you off -- and this was pretty racy because Deborah Kerr is married in the movie. (But to a jerk.)  This is a 50's movie, but it's about Pearl Harbor -- so it's the 40's for me.

  From-here-to-eternity
 

So my point?  Today, my romanticizing came to life.  I donned all my 40's gear (and I had to buy nothing, just had it) and I went to Gilroy and took photos in black and white.  Lots of photos.  And I hate to have my picture taken.  But it was so fun.  I just channeled my inner Ingrid Bergman and thought about the new book and how I want the new website to look -- and there was no stopping me.  Luckily, I had a great photographer (www.MichaelHawkPhotography.com) who totally got my "vision".  

When my book, "A Billion Reasons Why" comes out next March (it's a modern story with a 40's themed wedding in New Orleans), my photo will match.  More importantly?  I got to belong to the era I should have been born into today.  Too fun.


Glee Goes Gaga!

My only complaint with the show tonight was not enough Matthew.  I really love Matthew Morrison, but he's going to get funky next week and we're in for "Queen" so I am NOT complaining.  I loved the Gaga theme.  Loved the being different moral.  

As a child, I truly suffered watching people make fun of my mentally retarded brother.  To this day, I cannot understand how people can purposely hurt other people. When Glee finished, the news came on and Boxer and Obama are in San Francisco -- making fun of conservatives and trying to incite boos out of their audience.  Really?  This is behavior we get from our president and speaker of the house?  Grow the heck up.  You should have been home watching "Glee" and learn about being respectfully different.

People are not stupid because we disagree with you.  They have different backgrounds, different perspectives.  I resent that my president isn't above making fun of people.  When you're in power, there's some responsibility that goes with that.  What are we to do if our culture is teaching that its most powerful can make fun of the weaker?  Pathetic.

But it's why I choose to watch "Glee" because I am struggling with what our world is becoming.  I would much rather stick my head in the sand and forget that people want to kill each other.  That justice isn't always done here on earth and that people are mean. Let me wallow in new Alien crop circles in England, that the new Airbender movie is coming out! And most importantly, that movie goers are willing to pay good money to see Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kucher as spies. Gosh, that is really typecasting.  Don't you think?  : ) 


Oh my gosh, like totally, I'm gonna totally leave my fear behind...Bachelorette Ally

Ally is not a good actress as told by her "regret" face on her balcony.  She is wearing a yellow dress that I swear Tina Fey had on as her bad bridesmaid dress this week on "30 Rock". "Sex and the City II" ad...now I never watched this show, and maybe it's me, but there is something really pathetic about women my age and older who haven't decided if they've found their soul mate.

Frank wasn't fulfilled so he has moved back home with mama to write screenplays. Yeah, he's not looking for a free trip to Hollywood.

Jay, Lawyer -- he's "super stoked" about meeting Ally. Didn't they give him a better vocabulary in law school.

Craig -- the pink-shirted cheeseball.  Yuck. We didn't really have to import this joker, did we?

Kyle -- mountain man.  There's no women in the mountains because we like to shop, dude.  

Justin "Mr. Rated R" -- he's cute.  Have no snarky words for him, but he's too young.

Phil -- investment banker who lost his brother.  The man knows what's important -- like him.

Jonathan -- weather man -- um no.  Weathermen don't have senses of humor.  The kind that works in teh real world.

Ty -- he's from Franklin, TN, so I like him.  That is a great city.  He has a dog (not a commitment-phobe).  Ah, but freshly divorced.  Ouch.

Chris from Cape Cod -- okay, HELLO.  He's a teacher and took care of his Mom.  He's too good for Ally.  LOL

Is Ally doing yoga in the shot?  I think I just vomited a little.  Okay, can I just say that I love Jesse James, (commercial for an interview) and I would be such a sucker if he said he was all fixed.  If I were Sandra Bullock, I'd just hire him a keeper.  Oh, I am so bad. 

Ally's hair is not moving.  I think someone went a little crazy with the hairspray. Jay the lawyer seems like a letch when he introduces himself.  Gosh these introductions are awkward. The outdoorsman is wearing a yellow shirt and a pink tie with his dark suit.  He's got more troubles than being a hunter.

Roberto's giving her a little Zorro, and I gotta say, that works.  Craig the dental salesman is SOOO creepy.  His hair looks like he had his head out the limo window.

Tyler is "so excited" which he says with all the zeal of someone on their death bed.  Not good.

John with the cubic zirconia.  Loved it!  Craig the lawyer seems very protective, and even though he's a little scary like Frankenstein, I liked him.  Steve the sales rep seems like a buddy.

Ally says she is so ready to fall in love.  After saying "I" about 800 times.  I think she's already in love.  But beyond the mirror?  She has to keep looking.  I love how Frank the retail manager/screenplay writer mentions Paris, but doesn't mention his Mama's basement where he currently resides. 

Kirk made her a Scrapbook.  I'm a little freaked.  Not only do I hate to craft?  But I am not thinking testosterone when I see a guy who does.  Scrapbooking together is not on my list for a soulmate.  All I'm saying.

My son Jonah is in here.  He says he could NOT live with Kasey's voice.  That's a deal breaker for Jonah.  LOL  Ah, but the little sweetheart says he feels mean for judging him.  Good honey.  Don't be like Mommy. Jonah goes, can you imagine if they go home to his mom and they all talk like that?  LOL 

Hunter the Hillbilly played a song.  Yep, she'll remember him.  We all will. 

First Impression Rose: Roberto -- Zorro strikes again! He's very charming and they're cute together. 

Okay, I can't stomach anymore.  I'll watch the rest tomorrow.  What did you think?  Did anyone stand out?  


The New Bachelorette Returns Tonight...

I still haven't decided if I can stomach it.  What say you, readers?  Will you watch Ali?

I heard Blossom is coming as Sheldon's love interest on "Big Bang Theory" so that definitely takes precedence.    Bachelorette_240

 I'm sort of over these dysfunctional sorts finding fake love.  The whole concept of a perfect person you must compete for is so foreign to real love.