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March 2011
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May 2011

Poverty Mentality...

Listen, I'm all for saving a buck here and there. I have my Starbucks' gold card (where I earn free espresso), I have my Loehmann's card where I save an extra ten percent when I shop. I have a CVS card. Tonight, my allergies are nuts in Boca, so we went to CVS to get some Claritin.

The line was looong because a woman was using her pull out advertisement and shopping from it. They were out of something on special and so we all waited for her to get the bajillion rain checks she wanted. Well, the rest of them waited. I lost patience.

It's not that a person wants to save a nickel or two. It's that people are in there late at night to get what they need and get out. And when you're completely unaware of everyone else to save your dang nickel. I want to hurl a roll of them at you.

I know that people who use coupons competitively do it as a "win." They must, because I've never seen anyone with this mentality get rich. The day I waste 30 minutes of my valuable time to save a nickel is the day I throw in the towel. That's a competition you're welcome to win. But as they spent at least ten minutes getting this woman checked out, they lost out on my thirty dollar Claritin purchase. And I have to wonder if it's worth it to these stores to deal with the loss-leader buyer. I can tell you, it wasn't worth it to me to wait behind them.

What do you think? Which stores are worth having their frequent-buyer plans and coupons? Michael's and Bed, Bath & Beyond has easy coupons I have time for. CVS, not so much anymore.


Royal Wedding


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It's a once-in-a-lifetime event. You're invited to the Royal Wedding. You're a princess! You have no fashion sense. And being a princess, no one has the nerve to tell you that you resemble Cousin Eddie on vacation.

So for all of you who weren't invited...for those of you who have girlfriends who will shop with you and say, "No, honey. No." Be grateful.

Sometimes, there are things that are better than being born into royalty. They're called girlfriends who will tell you the truth. They're such cute girls, and I feel sorry for them that no one said no...oh please no...


Bring on the Bling!

My aunt used to live in a Sun City community and my cousin called it "Boca Del Vista." I feel like all of Florida is Boca Del Vista. First of all, they seem to attach sparkles to everything. How can you not love that? Everything looks better with rhinestones! Oh and animal print. A lot of animal print. I find I acclimate to this very easily.

I'm definitely going to be a sparkly old lady. Sparkles just make the world a happier place. Now add your Lilly Pulitzer colors and I'm home...

Except I was weepy for my kids last night, and I do wish I could show them all the different aspects of Florida and its weird critters at an aquarium or the like.

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Today, we're going to breakfast (my favorite meal out since I don't normally eat it!) and then, we're off to Jupiter. A different world or more of the sparkly same? We haven't slept at all, and I'm sure I'll look a few years' older by the time I head home...


Redefining "Baggage"

Watching the Prince and his bride, it was so wonderful to see the exchange of eye contact between them. The obvious affection they had for one another and their hope for the future. What a contrast to the "Millionaire Matchmaker" marathon I watched the other day. Now I realize, this is comparing apples to oranges, but our "royalty" here in America (from a secular standpoint) is our millionaires.

That show really brought up the baggage that "ideas" for the ideal mate bring to a relationship. For example, there was a self-made millionaire, nearing fifty and he wanted a "girl" not over twenty-something so that they could have children, etc. Someone forgot to tell this man that he'd missed the boat for his ideal because he'd become too old for the "perfect" woman according to his childhood ideal. He would, in fact, being throwing the ball around as a sixty-year old. Naturally, they all think they'll live forever anyway. Sure, his money might allow him to marry a twenty-something, but is that really a partnership? Or is it a business deal? And is any marriage based on a business deal going to flourish when times get rough?

Another guy wanted the same things so that he could start a family. But he fell for the other millionairess, who was a gorgeous woman and a single mother and definitely over his age criteria. In his mind, she was too old, and the kid was baggage. Reality, however, was that he and this woman had a lot in common and a clear connection. He was going to have to lose the "ideal" to find success in this relationship. It's amazing to me how many of these guys can't get passed that. They think there will be some "perfect" woman who will make them unable to continue in the single life and they'll want to settle down.

But THAT is the baggage. They have been using women. They have NO practice in true one-on-one relationship and they're not ready to "settle down." Just like women believe in Prince Charming coming to rescue them, these guys believe in the mythical goddess. If they think someone who meets their criteria is going to make them happy or that life isn't going to zap them with something they couldn't have called, they're in for a rude awakening. It's like they're looking for breeding stock, not a life partner.
Gorgeous, check.
Perfect body, check.
Never married, check.
No kids, check.
But then, they usually find that Miss Perfect is TOO perfect for their aging selves and she dumps him. This is the first time, Mr. Wealthy has been told no and we get the equivalent of him throwing a toddler tantrum. Because you can't ever truly control another person. At least, not after she's 40. LOL

And these guys never think about what THEY bring to the table. They're just entitled to the perfect wife. And I'd say they bring a LOT of baggage. A guy who is nearing fifty who has never had a long-term relationship has WAY more baggage than a young, single mother who has learned to put herself second for her child. This supposed prince hasn't ever sacrificed ANYTHING for another human being, but he sees himself as the prize worthy of the biggest trophy.

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Trying to control a relationship like that, and make sure they're not going to come up against any obstacles doesn't work. You can plan and plot all you like, but then sickness can happen, poverty can happen...you better be able to walk alongside the person when life goes wrong. To look into their eyes and see the best in them always. Love doesn't work like a business deal. It would be nice if it did, but if Princess Diana taught us anything, it should be when you're looking at Prince Charming, make sure you're seeing the real deal and not your active imagination.


Kate's Dress

Hi all, I'm in Florida. I'm showing Nancy all around, since she's a wee bit fearful of driving and I have no fear, having learned in San Francisco on a stick shift. I'll get the Italian in her to come out in the car yet.

Anyway, we woke up this morning to news that Kate and the prince were married, and what a lovely dress, huh? She just looked stunning, and what great style she has. I was shocked to hear the designer worked for Alexander McQueen, who although not with us any longer, hardly seemed to type to dress a future queen. Unless maybe you're talking about the other kind of queen.


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I didn't watch the wedding, but it was lovely to see the two of them really basking in their marriage, and unfazed by all the outside influence. They truly seem to be in love and I do hope the family curse on marriage is broken. Did anyone watch?

Nic sent me a pic of mugs made in China for the occasion that had the wrong prince on it and I had to laugh. When I used to take Elle with her best friend to Chinese pottery class, they would say, "She's been here before? Oh all those blonde girls look alike." LOL Apparently, so do English Royalty to China.


DuWop in Florida!

So you know that makeup? DuWop? It was named as such because it's created by two Italian girls. There are more of us, and we're not looking for Guidos. But we are looking for sun, surf and squeals of laughter. So I'm headed to Florida to see my fellow dago and critique partner, Nancy Toback.

I talked to her grown son on the phone and he told me she didn't have any friends and I wasn't really coming. Oh my gosh, we raised the same kid! And it doesn't bode well for me that his sense of humor as a grown-man is exactly the same as my sixteen-year old's. Italians and sarcasm go hand-in-hand, I think. They're trying to get her to move to San Luis Obispo and I'm all for this idea!

Nancy and I talk once a week and oh, how we laugh and giggle like school girls. I can't wait until we're actually together and all those endorphins are flowing. It's the perfect getaway before I start a new job. (More on that when it's official!)

I've told Nancy I have makeup that will stay on in the humidity. I'm determined to prove myself right, but if not, no worries. I'll be tanned and happy. I'm also going to get up to see writer Rachel Hauck, who has built a new office. Seeing what they can all afford there, I know I will be tempted, but I am a California girl at heart. You can take me out of the state, but then, no you can't. I get grumpy when I'm out of my state for too long.

I'll be posting while I'm gone and also working a bit. Nancy and I are rewriting that book of mine that's been in the drawer for too long. Come to think of it, I've been in the drawer too long. I need to air out and get some sunshine sans kids. No offense to my babies, but Mommy is durn sick of soccer.

FYI, if you're wondering why I vacation alone? This is DH's idea of a vacation, and I'd like to say he was willing to change it up once and a while. But nope. So I go it alone.


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Time to Call it a Day...

It's a good day for my job interview. I got a letter this morning calling me an ignorant racist for writing "What a Girl Wants" and here's the thing. I don't CARE anymore. Usually, I can write a nice letter back and tell them I'm sorry they were offended. Not today Zurg! I haven't got anything left in me for it. That's not a good sign. When you've stopped caring, it's probably time to call it a day, don't you think?

My iMac is on the blink. Another sign? But really, I'm just over exposing myself to Christians who know the only way to Christ. I'll admit Ashley is racist when she starts out with a preconceived notion of her brother's fiancee. It's sort of the point. But whatever, I'm an ignorant racist -- who happens to be the only white girl in town, so it's a good thing I like myself -- since I wouldn't have friends otherwise. Sheesh. Needed to vent before the interview.


Orthorexia...

Oh how I love the DSM -- you know, the holy grail of psychological diseases. It's gold for a writer. But today, there are two new diseases. I'm going to focus on one, since I don't really think it's a new disease. I think it's OCD in food form. But I TOTALLY know people who have this one.

It's called Orthorexia and these people only eat healthy foods. The balance gets tipped somehow (um, obsessively...compulsively) and they start eating weirder and weirder. Okay, I love this because the article goes onto say that there is shame and so the outcome can be social isolation.

I SO WISH! These folks I know bring their crap food along proudly and pull it out at restaurants. They carry their Kombacha tea, or whatever it is that has that filmy skin on top and drink it in front of us with pride. Like we ALL want to be with them. They are socially isolated because people get sick of it. Have you ever been around an obnoxious vegetarian? You know, be a vegetarian, I don't care. All the Indians in my neighborhood are vegetarian. I have NEVER had them come into my house when I was cooking a steak and tell me some nasty tidbits about it. HEALTH-FREAK vegetarians cannot let it go if you're eating a steak.

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So I do protest that part of the story. They say that the results of this horrifying new diagnosis is social isolation. That orthorexics are socially isolated because they are a victim to their diet and that makes them not very much fun to be around. Same as many OCD outcomes (hoarding, addictions, religion, cleaning to the point of exhaustion.) So personally, I'm thinking orthorexia is just another form of OCD.
http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayinhealth/new-eating-disorders-are-they-real

Speaking of OCD, what did you think of "Glee" tonight? And Emma's shirt that said "OCD" -- my personal favorite shirt was "Butt Chin" -- now that's entertainment. I loved Lauren tonight and I'm glad Curt is back and the Warblers or gone, though I liked the Warblers tune better than Curt's. Was it me or did that thing go on forever?

I wish we could live in the pretty world where there was no bullying. Man, human nature sucks sometimes. If you had to embrace your inner demon, what would it be?
Mine would say: ADD -- speaking of which, these two cops were talking next to me in Starbucks and the guy had a young daughter with ADD and they couldn't get her to stick with anything. I could not help myself. I told him, "I'm sorry for interrupting, but I'm an ADDer, was as a child and...swimming. Let me just suggest swimming."

He said she loved swimming. Then, I high-tailed my ADD self out of there.


Money Does Not Make the Man...

There was a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon on. Question: Who told men if they were rich that women (all tens, of course) would just want them??

Any woman who wants you for your money is not worth having. Didn't anyone teach them that? I cannot believe there are that many un-evolved men out there who think they're all that. I feel like they're saying, "But I have money!"

They don't get that there has to be more. How sad for them! I mean, they're like pushing forty and they think only a twenty year old with "no baggage" is good enough for them. And the thing is, they really are on par intellectually with the twenty-year olds, so they don't understand the problem. Truthfully, that's probably all they're going to grow, because you know, nothing wrong with them.

Ugh. So today on the dates I watched. One guy took his date to his "compound" in Florida and peed on the grass -- like a dog while they hit golf balls. On the first DATE! Then, he sprayed her with the jet ski wake. Another cleared out the bowling alley so they could eat potato skins alone. Where are these guys' mothers?

If that's the kind of romance money buys you, you can have it! Tools!

Sidenote: I finally figured out how to do payroll and write myself a check. I bought new curtains and a bedspread so my bedroom isn't so dark. That cheered me up. Retail therapy always works.


What Losing it Looks like...

I have two kids in soccer right now. One ends at seven, one starts at 8 p.m. in East San Jose. It's a trek and last night, my brain was so overloaded with the book and kid stuff, that I told DH he had to cook while I drove to San Jose. He works late, and I'm usually on my own, but by the tone of my voice, which was exceptionally weepy yesterday, he knew getting home was probably best.

So I come home with groceries after dropping off one kid and when I get back from the next dropoff, DH is there asking me what he's supposed to cook? Here's what I came home from Whole Foods with:

Broccoli. Lots and lots of broccoli.
Watsonville Sourdough (My favorite bread ever!)
Deviled Eggs (Daughter loves them!)
Kettle Chips (Don't feed my kids hydrogenated oils.)
Organic Strawberries

By the time DH is home, the deviled eggs, Kettle chips (two bags) and strawberries are gone, so my loot looks exceptionally pathetic.

"What am I supposed to make out of this?"
"I have no idea. I'm not thinking straight."
"You think?"
"You went to Stanford, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

I have to lower my cortisol (stress hormone) I think it's sucking my brain cells as we speak. I listened to a doctor on a new brain book today. "The Compass of Pleasure" and I wasn't even tempted. I'm definitely losing it. Am I too young to get Alzheimers?

Whole Foods Reno, NV