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March 2017
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#RHONY Dorinda got a little heated for my tastes -- and I'm Italian!

Dorinda was dropping F bombs at Sonja like there was a big sale on them. Ouch. There were others at the table, and a few men. I was shocked at how people just accepted that behavior. I want to take you back to the last dinner party you had and imagine someone screaming at one of your guests at the table.

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It was legit scary -- and trust me, my dad and I have had blowouts at the table -- we enjoy arguing as sport -- we don't care about whether we're right or not. We will clear the room and not notice. (We're charming that way.) But seriously, Dorinda looked unhinged.

Then, for another reason I don't understand (I never got why she was yelling at Sonja) she goes after "Luann's friend" who happens to be the great Candace Bushnell. Acclaimed author and creator of "Sex and the City" and "The Carrie Diaries." What does a writer have to do to get some recognition in the world? Luann's friend?


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Then, after all that crazy screaming and ranting, the women are all just together the next day. This is why the coasts don't get normal people. That's not normal behavior. Normal people stay away from ranting, screaming banshees. It's healthier that way.

Okay, I have to address the elephant in the room with Carol the Cat Lady and her political views. Why does she think she's the only one entitled to an opinion? That's what voting IS, CAROL. People get their own vote. So when she uninvites Ramona to her Hillary Victory Election party, you have to admit, it's a little heartwarming to know her bum is going to get handed to her. When Ramon gets uninvited, Carol says to her, "You don't even care about Hillary."

Um, an election party is because of an election. Where the results are not yet in -- she's missing the point. And she says this like Hillary is her best friend. Like if she didn't watch, her best friend would be distraught. Betrayed. Oh well, she has her cats and her ratty sofa. And she lives a pretty good life in NYC with her young boyfriend and writing career. She'll be fine.

I don't like when the housewives fight -- I tuned out for most of last night. I did enjoy watching Sonja hand wash her lingerie in the bidet though. That woman is nuts, and she's fine with it. That's why I love her.


A #Bachelor Rant -- Chris Soules

If you haven't heard, the farmer "Farmer Bachelor" Chris Soules was arrested for basically a hit and run -- he was in a tractor, the other man (RIP) was in a vehicle. Turns out he has more DUIs in his history. This guy they were passing off as the ultimate bachelor!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4444036/Chris-Soules-arrested-killing-driver-tractor.html

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Now seriously, you would hope that ABC would do a little vetting before this process. You go on this show with 25 other girls, basically not knowing if you're getting a serial killer because ABC hides their dirty backgrounds. That is CRIMINAL. Imagine if Match.com for instance, featured some hot guy at the top of their page and said, go for this one, he's a good one! And you do, and you find out he's got three DUI's, his brother buried in the basement, etc. Bait and switch on a relational level.

They're basically putting lipstick on a pig -- or in this case, abs in a shower. They're telling America, these cleaned up models are as good as new. Nick Vial is the same. And really, their names give them away. VILE and SOULLESS -- granted, spelled differently, but still, makes you think. Ladies there's a reason these guys aren't married at 35. I'm not saying people without a past should remain unforgiven, nor that people can't change. What I am saying is there needs to be a soul there and regret.

That's the different because a drinker in recovery and a drunk. In recovery, people take responsibilities for their past. On the Bachelor, you just get a makeover and sent back to try again. Not cool, ABC.


#Bunnygate #RHOBH

I'm not a fan of housewives fighting, but I have to say this season -- and especially that Hong Kong trip -- was amazing. All of those personalities, each with their own inner conflict meeting up in a foreign land. It was pretty epic. Although, the argument about not wearing panties got old really quickly. I actually felt a little sorry for PK on the reunion. Guy couldn't win. I mean, he's got nowhere to go in that situation. Either his wife thinks he's a creep or he blames it on Erika, am I right?


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So let's move onto Bunnygate. I am a fan of Lisa Rinna's and I know she blurts whatever she's thinking. I can identify with that so I'm on Lisa's side. I think she has good motives and a big mouth. Plus, I don't think she cares much for Kyle's sister, Kim. Next week, there's a preview of Kim saying that basically, Eileen isn't a real actress because she's on a soap opera. Oh, do you mean working? Because I don't think we've seen Kim much since she was in "Escape to Witch Mountain."

Granted, I know Kim has issues, and I'm happy for her as a new grandma, but bringing the bunny back that Rinna gave her. Hanging onto it for 8 months so she could do it publicly? That was pathetic and vengeful. I didn't like that at all.

Speaking of vengeful, as much as I love Erika Jayne, girl got a little too angry at PK on the reunion. On the one hand, I get it. Her husband is never around to defend her. (Interesting that he's an attorney.) And PK is always around. I love that PK loves his wife and stands up for her, even when she acts like a complete moron. That's as it should be.

What did you think? My cousins think I'm wrong. LOL


My inner Scarlett is coming out to play...


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I have been obsessed with Charleston, South Carolina since Rhett Butler announced he was going back to Charleston. Even though I am an Ashley Wilkes girl. Which is terrible, because he's essentially the villain of that movie. But whatever. Ashley it was.

Anyway, my friend lives there and her daughter has agreed to take us on the "Southern Charm" tour -- of the show's highlights. I'm taking my history buff son and he's excite to see Fort Sumter and we'll do a ghost tour, eat the southern food. Basically, live the Scarlett life I was born to live. How I ended up in California, I will never know!

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So this morning, I tell my history buff son that my friend is taking me on the "Southern Charm" tour and he says, "Where am I going to be?"

"Um, on the 'Southern Charm' tour. If I have to go to Fort Sumter, you have to go to see where T-Rav hangs out."

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Now I'm going to explain why I planned this trip. Because in my family, they consider a road trip to the middle of nowhere (think UFO country) is a vacation. Listen, if my cell phone gets no service? That is not a vacation. I don't WANT to be on my cell phone, but I don't want to be in a place where it doesn't work, either. I might need to look up what year a movie came out or something.

So this summer...wait, I have to start with last summer. My daughter went on a packing trip with horses. They hiked, the horses packed. My daughter and the guide connected and now, she is going to learn how to train a wild mustang this summer. Then, learn what she needs to know about packing and take the family on a packing trip. I'm sure that sounds like heaven to a lot of people. To me, it sounds like hell with a view. So I will be dirt-packing and camping this summer as a "vacation." And that, my friends is why I'm going to Charleston. I gotta be me.


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Father WhatAWaste & Old Friends


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I had a "Girls Night Out" this week and I have to say, having old friends is the best. You don't have to explain things. First off, I'm an acquired taste, so if you're willing to put up with me, most likely, I'll keep you around. My oldest friend has been around since we were 4 and in Catechism together. While we were out this week -- at Greek food -- how Eastery, right?

Our mutual friend says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Father WhataWaste is now at (*&(*& Church."
"No kidding?"
"Yeah, he seems to be covering two parishes right now."

I love that this conversation makes sense to us all. Father WhatAWaste was the HOTTEST guy was he was young and before he officially entered the priesthood, he was our youth pastor. He was young and tan and had abs before abs were a thing. We didn't think he'd really go through with being a priest. How could such a beautiful specimen deny the women of the world? (Granted, we were sixteen, so maybe not that spiritual or mature.)

We went to his ordination and screamed from the top of San Francisco's Saint Mary's, "Don't do it, Dave!" Her mom was so proud. (Ie., mortified.)

Dave did it. He's still doing it. A priest - now for two parishes. But his nickname lives on in infamy.

So even though I have amazing lifetime friends, I've made a new friend, whom I absolutely love.

She is Russian and brilliant, a grown boy mom and we just get each other. But here's how I knew it was meant to be. We start talking literature -- because of course, she knows all the great Russian literature, but when she asks me about a book, do you know which one she asked if I'd read?


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Of all the books. The one I read every two years. "The Thorn Birds" by Colleen McCullough. An Australian writer. About a priest -- how amazing is that? Anyway, these is my Easter Week stories. I hope you're all going to have an amazing Easter this year.

I've just filled 200 Easter Eggs, so I'm anxious for the good part.

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Parenting Choices: Psychedelic Furs or Hall & Oates -- or Nothing

I've always said the one 80's group that I've never seen and still would like to is Hall & Oates. Said it for years. They're finally coming to San Jose -- they have played in the East Bay, but I seriously don't go to Berkeley or Concord if I can help it. It's just not my scene.

So they're finally coming to San Jose with Depeche Mode and it's on my youngest's birthday. So I said to her, "You know how long I've wanted to see them, and you'll probably be off with your friends anyway."

Nope. She wasn't having it.

Now, I said on Twitter to the Psychedelic Furs, who did not have a Northern California show, hey, make a Northern California show. And guess what? They did. At the Fillmore. On the same dang day. Are you KIDDING ME?

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The Psychedelic Furs are one of my favorite concerts (with Adam Ant taking the lead.) I just love so many of their songs and they still sound exactly the same and Richard Butler can really still boogie. Love him.

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Anyway, come July 25th, I am going to be depressed. Because my 80's self will be thrust into my 90's parenting self. There's all that self-sacrificial stuff of parenting and then, there's this. Oh, but on a happy note, Adam Ant is coming back to the Bay Area twice in one year! He'll be here again in September.

Sometimes, I truly hate adulting. Wait, no. Most of the time, I hate adulting.


Let's Talk about #SouthernCharm!

I love this show. Far too much and I have since the beginning. I don't get the thrill of "Vanderpump Rules" which I can't watch because it makes me fear for the future of our existence. (Are people really that shallow and still functioning in society?) It scares me that "Instagram Star" is a thing. Shows like VPR is why.

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Sorry, lost my train of thought. Okay, "Southern Charm" -- first I have to be forthright. I think Thomas Ravenel is absolutely toxic. The idea of him retaining full custody after he destroyed the mother of his children makes me want to vomit. I think everything this guy touches turns to dirt, so I want to see Kathryn get back up and fight. But I totally get why she hasn't. He has money, means and he used this entire first episode to disparage and destroy the mother of his children. The whole show only used people willing to say how "toxic" she was. He manipulates everyone to help him destroy the mother of his kids rather than take any responsibility for his own actions.

Listen, Kathryn is young and by my best guess probably bipolar and medicating with drugs/alcohol. I'm not a doctor, I just play one behind my keyboard. To mess with her head is probably easy to do.

Thomas played so many games with this girl's head. And I'll give you that maybe she did plan to nail him down by getting pregnant. But he's a 50-year old man sleeping with a young girl and I think she made the mistake of falling in love with him. He's old enough to know about options, no? Thomas currently has "custody" of his kids. And by custody, I mean, he's kenneled them out in the guest house with a series of nannies. He comes in for photo ops in between attending pool parties where he looks like the attendees' daddy.

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By the way, those polo stables seem nicer than the guest house. Just sayin' Then, he and Whitney show up at this afternoon pool party like it's absolutely reasonable to be hanging out with people half your age.

I'm Thomas' age and Thomas, I'm going to tell you why people that age want you at their parties. They want you to buy the booze and make sure there's food there. That's it. Otherwise, you're not invited.

Shep is looking a little worse for the wear this season, and not just because he's got a young "protege" but because it's not attractive to be purposeless at his age. Still, I love Shep and find him most entertaining. But if he was my son, I'm smack some sense into him and cut him off financially.

Landon. Why is she back? Her boyfriend is good looking and I really hope she's only playing desperate for Thomas/Shep for the show. Landon, look at Kathryn. If you think there isn't a life graveyard of women just like her after Thomas, you're a moron. Thomas pits these young girls against each other for his own ego. But I do love Thomas. He's like the Erica Kane of Charleston.

I do have to love that Landon thinks Shep owes her an apology for not being into her when she blurted out she might be in love with him. That takes guts.

So, are you watching? And if so, what did you think? If you're not, what have I told you?