My Reality TV Update #Bachelorette #SouthernCharm #RHONY
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#TheBachelorette Recap

I'm finishing my book tonight. "Confessions of a Hallmark Movie Addict" will be available through Revell Publishers in the Summer of 2018. So why wouldn't I take a break and watch "The Bachelorette?" I love Rachel. Love that she has a huge dog with a broken leg in a cast. She just is multidimensional. I feel like if she never got married? She'd be fine. She's not desperate and this is our first week to really get a look at the guys when they aren't over-produced into a caricature.

The First date card is Dean, Jack, Jonah, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, Lucas and reads, "I'm looking for husband material." Aren't we all, Rachel?

When the guys get to the park, Rachel is grilling. Or in this case, standing in front of the BBQ for a photo op. Then, they play some touch football because that's a natural transition.

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Lucas has WAAY too much crazy energy. If he grew up in Woodside, he grew up wealthy, so he's used to being "special." Personally, I find him just annoying. As does Blake, who plans to out him soon. Ashton Kucher and Mila Kunis. They let the guys know Rachel is looking for a guy with health insurance. Again, who isn't? Although, she's a lawyer and probably has her own health insurance, so she needs to set the bar higher.

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Back at the house, Lee has proved he's lead mean girl and we hear him whine like a little (*(&*.

"The Husband Material Challenge" is six different obstacles of emasculating stations, like changing a diaper, racing with a Baby Bjourn and vacuuming with their doll and cleaning out dirty drains. I don't know about you, but those were NONE of my requirements for a husband. It's stupid to watch.

Lucas, the guy who is probably still living with his mother, wins. Then, he proceeds to have one of his epileptic fits where he says "Waboom" which got old the first time we heard it. In their private time, Lucas reads an infantile poem and Rachel pretends to act flattered.

Blake is the tattle-tale who is ready to tell Rachel all about Lucas. Gag. She's a smart girl. She'd figure it out. All these guys do is look like a worm and waste their alone time.

I love Kenny the Wrestler. He isn't playing. He leaves the gossip circle and heads to his alone time with Rachel. Like a grown-up. Originally, I didn't think they had chemistry. Hopefully, that changes. When Kenny talks about his daughter MacKensie you just feel the love he has for her -- and to be honest, it doesn't seem like something she wants to take on.

There doesn't seem to be any chemistry with any of these guys on night one. Next. Dean gets the group date rose. He was the one who said, "When you go black, you never go back." Classy, dude. But they do have chemistry at least.

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ONTO THE FIRST ONE-ON-ONE DATE: PETER

Rachel says she's intrigued by Peter and they're going to Palm Springs, but she surprises him with an extra guy: Copper, her dog. She definitely has chemistry with Peter. They go to BarkFest -- which is a dog park/spa event for people with dogs who have better lives than all of us.

This pic says it all about Peter. He's dancing with her dog, so Copper doesn't have to be on that broken leg. #Keeper
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Sidenote: Does anyone else hate that weepy cartoon commercial with the overworked mom going to online university? Honestly, it's as bad as those Sarah McClachan SPCA commercials -- only it doesn't work. It's just annoying.

At night, Peter and Rachel go to the La Quinta Inn and she ask how his parents reacted. Good question. Answer: Positive. I love that he brings up their gap teeth and says, "If we have children at some point, they're pretty much screwed."

They both agree it adds character. I love that neither one of them fixed it. I really like when people have REAL teeth and they don't have Chicklet veneers. Good for them. Peter explains that he was broken-hearted and went to a relationship counselor -- and so did Rachel. They talk about how they got prepared and what wasn't working for them. Imagine, two people who take responsibility for their part in a bad relationship? I love these two together! He gets the rose. He also gets bonus points for talking about kids on the first date.

Cue the fireworks. Interior and exterior.

GROUP DATE #2 Will, Jamie, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, DeMario, Swish

Kareem Abdul Jabbar is on this basketball date, and the guys all jump and down like little girls. To get laughed at by Kareem has to be on the top list of humiliating moments. (Lee)


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DeMario's current girlfriend comes and rats him out. I do love that Rachel goes and gets him and he's thinking one-on-one time and he's getting a scenario every player fears. Girl says DeMario still has keys to her apartment. DeMario says, "Who's this?"

Josiah's protective nature stands out and I do believe that's who he is. Protective of those in dismay. But their kiss seemed creepy and not genuine. Some dude sings her a song in another language. Russian. She proceeds to crack up nervously as most women do when a guy sings to them on a date. (Unless your name is Harry Connick, Jr., this is never a good idea.)

Eric has what he calls a passionate kiss with Rachel. I thought it looked awkward, but what do I know? Josiah gets the group date rose. Then, at the rose ceremony (which doesn't happen) DeMario is waiting outside. More pointless drama. Even if that girl was lying, DeMario's done just by pretending he didn't know her. Only a player would do that.

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