Dear perfect parents of the Internet: Please mind your business.

I don't know why I read comments on videos, but I do. Why are all cute kid/dog/cat/farm videos laced with toxic comments on how to be the perfect parent? Like you never made a mistake.  Get over yourselves. I'd love to hear their kids tell the stories of these so called perfect parents who want to suck the joy out of life.

Yesterday, there was a darling video of a little girl (about 2 or 3) and she wanted to jump in the swimming pool.  Her mom stood over her with the camera telling her, "The water is cold. You don't want to jump in." Naturally, the kid jumps in anyway and immediately dashes out of the pool, looks up at her mom and says, "It's cold."

This is how kids learn. A cold pool warning now means something to her.

The comments were awful, but most of them said, "She needs water wings." Arrgh. No, she doesn't.  Water wings teach kids they can float and give them false confidence.  This kid knew how to swim and that's what kids need. But mostly, people need to mind their own business. Her mother was keeping her safe. 

In California, the leading cause of death for little boys 1-4 was drowning. I had a swimming pool and three little boys under four. Of course, we had an alarm on the back door. We had a fence around the pool.  But none of that helps in a momentary lapse, so I taught my boys to swim early.  All of them at their young age. Still, I say, there but for the grace of God go I.  None of us is perfect. Not one -- and accidents can happen in the blink of an eye, so I don't say this as an "I'm a better parent than you" commentary.  I say it as a reminder that parenting isn't easy. Kids do crazy stuff. Pets do crazy stuff. Let us enjoy those moments on the inter webs. As for me, I'm done with the comment section.

If you feel the need to NOT mind your own business and get involved, maybe you should adopt a dog or something.  Keep yourself busy. But don't use a retractable leash.  Because apparently, that is the new "Karen" cause. Retractable leashes are from the devil and should be banned.  (Here's an idea, if you don't like retractable leashes, don't use one.) I especially love this argument in Arizona where guns are on a lot of hips.  Walk around with a Colt 45, but go to jail for a retractable leash. The irony.

 My baby boy even spent summers as a lifeguard. He saw lots of stupid moves.