I'm stuck...Random thoughts to avoid work! #amwriting #writingfiction
"The Holdovers" Movie

Home to California & Family

Well, I'm off to home for Thanksgiving. I'll be checking out houses (read: shacks) that I can move into now that my son is finished with college. It's been very difficult for me to write in Arizona. I have no idea why. I have a lovely office and only two dogs here all day.  

I used to write for two or three hours a day with four kids and their sports' schedules. Maybe I miss the constant chaos and I have to learn to deal with the quiet. It's a strange phenomenon. I think part of it is I miss my people. I miss people who get my snarky humor and don't hold it against me. I don't think most Arizonans know how to take my humor. My writer friends do, naturally.  They've known I've been quirky all along. Writers were never the "normal" ones at school I don't think. I think writers fall somewhere between the drama kids and marching band kids.

But I'm talking about new people. Not sure they're ready for quirky Kristin. And when you get to be my age, I'm not great at editing myself. Like my son said, "You'd make more friends if you stopped wearing 49er gear everywhere." And maybe that's true, but if I want to support my man Bosa, I'm going to do it. I figure I'm just weeding out the people who think Californians caused all their problems.

Newsflash America: We got bought out first in California. With cash offers for million dollar homes. The house I grew up in, which is literally a basic tract house on the San Francisco peninsula.  It's smaller than my tiny house now -- and it's worth $2 million!  Well, I mean, it's not worth $2 million, but that's what people are paying for a basic three/two in the Bay Area on the "right" side of the Bay. 

I get how the other states feel. I mean, I'm fourth and fifth-generation Californian, and I can't afford to live where I grew up. Here's what makes me so sad about all this. It's ruining the generations of families and their abilities to leave nearby. People are having to leave their homes to have their own family and a house. Our country has lost its soul and that makes me mourn for the world. I grew up where I could bike ride to either grandparents' house. 

This morning, I watched some doctor on TikTok. He wrote a book about anxiety and he's in the Dave Ramsey world. I am NOT a Dave Ramsey fan. I think he gets a lot right, but he also doesn't get that the Millennials might work their entire life for nothing. They may never own a house through no fault of their own. Why would they be motivated to save? Why wouldn't they want to buy a car they can't afford? You can't expect people to go to to work every day of their lives and not be able to afford more than rent and groceries. It's not a sustainable model. Sorry, back to Dr. John Deloney who posted that he and his wife decide where they're going to travel for the holidays and send their mother news of what they've decided. If his mother decides to throw a tantrum, he says, that's on her. They're adults and they can do as they please without worry.

This is all true. But it also SUCKS! I was fortunate enough to have all four of my grandparents until I was 37. My last grandfather didn't pass away until I was 49. He was 100 years old and I never spent a holiday without him. Never. Not one. And now that I don't have them, I'm so grateful I got every last holiday with the people who mattered to me. If Dr. Deloney decides he wants to prioritize his children, that's fine, but someday, they might do the same and that doesn't foster family in my opinion. I also do not believe in "child centered" families. I don't think they work. I think the couple must put their relationship first and the kids add on to that solid foundation.

Maybe your family is unhealthy and spending time with them is hard on your mental health. I understand that. I'm not talking to those people where the holidays are a nightmare. But if you've had good parents and you don't make them a priority, I will never understand that. The Bible says to honor your mother and father and I believe in that tradition.

As my parents get older, I travel to them.  Soon, I'll be moving closer to them now that I can afford to move there. I just feel like this country has lost its soul and all that matters is money, but in the end, if all you have is money -- you really have nothing. Family is forever.