Versions of Christianity -- Yes, there is more than one!

Years ago, I wrote "What a Girl Wants" for two reasons. One, because I had a singles' group at my house and it wasn't fair how God says that "beauty is fleeting & charm is deceiving", yet every time some new hot girl came into the group, religion seemed to fly out the window.  The second reason was...I couldn't craft.  

That's right. Most Christian women were good at crafting and making casseroles--maybe while homeschooling on the side. I was not that type of Christian. I was never going to be this type of Christian. Trust me, my grandmother tried so hard to make me domestic when I wanted to be out in the wood shop with my cousins using the jigsaw.  I'm not "normal." I wanted to write a book for the Christians who don't fit in. Newsflash, I still raised four kids and no one is in jail.  Not that this is the standard, but they did all right for themselves. They survived their out-of-the-ordinary mom.

Fast forward 20-odd years. I'm at a Bible study last night, and we are introduced with the caveat, "This is a private, no judgment zone, no advice zone." Right before I was completely judged and told how I "should be" and given advice. I'm 57. I completely reject this type of Christianity, and if that's for you, you go do you. No judgment here. But I have been a Christian for a long time, I know my relationship with God has nothing to do with impressing others or living up to their standards. Why don't judgmental people get this? What is it in their life that makes them think they are here to fix us all?

Do those people have any idea how they make people turn from God and the church? I bought this book "Bamboozled by Jesus" recently, and I haven't read it yet, but I did read some of the reviews. Some of which say this book is "not for real Christians."  

What is a real Christian? Since only God gets to judge, maybe we don't know. Sure, we know that Christians shouldn't be out murdering and philandering, but what about judging? Why do we let this one go? Worse yet, some of the reviews said, "This author is clearly not a Christian." 

Say what? You don't know what this woman's culture is, or how she grew up. You don't know her heart, so maybe worry about your own walk. Listen, I understand saying if swearing upsets you, this isn't the book for you.  But to take it so far as to say she's not a Christian? Girl, sit down.

Do I think this book is going to be filled with quality doctrine? I'm going to say no.  But will I hear someone's journey in their faith? Yes, I will. I think Christians seem to forget that David had a whole heart for God. King David: adulterer, murderer, bigamist, manipulator...David.  He wanted to do right, but he was a very flawed human.  Luckily, it wasn't up to David to be perfect.  We have salvation for that.

I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot, but I also know that I'm saved, flaws and all. Do I want to get better? Always. Does that include being like everyone else? It does not. 

I don't know if this book has false doctrine in it, but again, I'm grown. I can decide for myself what to read. I want to know how Orji's journey has been shaped by her immigrant parents. I want to know how she survives in Hollywood as an African-American comedian. Not only survives, but thrives. 

October 10th is #NationalHandbagDay & Thoughts on Money...

First things first, how great is it that there's a national handbag day? I don't know where my love of a good handbag comes from, but I do know that my first money memory was about a bag. I took a class on money and one of the questions was, "What is your first memory of money?"

This is telling of why, perhaps, I was not very compatible with my ex.  My first memory of money was a suede Navajo purse that my grandfather brought me back from Arizona. It was a child-sized bucket bag with feathers and beads hanging off of it. When my grandfather gave it to me, he put a few coins in it and that's the first time I thought, "Money, meh. The bag it goes in? Sign me up!

Just for reference, my kids' father's first memory of money was that his grandmother gave him a dollar. He promptly ran down the hall and hid it. I think that pretty much sums up a few things. Incidentally, I don't think his view of money is wrong, it's just very different. Money to me represented "freedom" to do what I wanted -- to go where I wanted to go and have the things that made me happy. To him, it represented security -- and maybe a little bit of power. I think marriages generally have a spender and a saver. I'm kind of a mix. I get frantic if I'm below a certain amount, but if I have anything extra, I am buying a handbag. 

Obviously, being sickly has gotten in the way of my handbag fetish, and this makes me sad. I want to be healthy so I can go to Spain and buy a Loewe bag. Life is filled with so many "musts" -- like this morning, I replaced the stopper in my bathroom sink. Do you know what I don't want to spend money on?  A house. Is that practical? No, because houses cost a fortune and something is always busting. I can't tell you why I'm able to drop a large amount on a  handbag, but it kills me to spend $15 on a new sink stopper -- but it does. I suppose buying handbags is my way of rebelling against the machine that makes you pay for insurance to drive, insurance to own a house, insurance to go to the doctor, etc. We all have to adult until we can't adult anymore. I imagine that's why there are Disney adults.

So what's your "opt-out" on adulthood? Will you celebrate national handbag day? I think I'll out to dinner and take one of my babies for a spin...

Where are my #Sisterwives girlies at?

Admittedly, I haven't been a Sisterwives' fan for long. I watched last season because of the narcissistic attitude in the husband Kody. I'm too familiar with narcissism and it always makes me feel better to know they literally have one playbook. Once you learn it and get past it, it's pretty hard to go back into a relationship with a narcissism.  This is where sisterwife Christine is (beginning last season) and continuing this season.  We see her away from the dysfunctional "marriage" of four wives and living her best life in Utah -- a state away from the family. She's literally glowing and I love to see it. 

We get the best of rewritten history through Kody's eyes, "I did everything to save this marriage."  Um, no dude. You didn't. You literally called your wife unattractive because she ate nachos. You didn't want to sleep with her, treated her like dirt (when she raised 11 kids) and then wondered why she left. I know that no one can explain this to Kody because he's the true victim here. As is his last remaining wife, Robyn. We just don't understand "the truth" as the audience.  Even though we saw it with our own eyes. 

Now I know there can be editing in reality television, but some of the things Kody said and did, it wouldn't get better with editing. You don't leave your wife who just had a baby to go on your honeymoon. That's not editing. That's narcissism in action. You don't ever tell your wife (in words and in print) that you're not really attracted to her. Those are things you just don't say.

I will say self-centeredness and revisionist history are entertaining to watch. I hate to admit it, but the whole, Kody as the doting husband/father is not what we've seen on TV and I love watching him wrestle with his "wives" leaving him.  This man had like 17 children and drove a two-seater vehicle! (You needed a passenger van, Kody.  That's what dads do.  They give up their ego for the minivan.)

Clearly, the worst of Kody was when he tried to put off his daughter's scoliosis surgery. The girl had a spine shaped like an "S" and she was in pain every day. But you know, it wasn't convenient for Kody to go away. He even called the trip to the specialist by Christine and her daughter Ysabel, "a vacation." She cried for her father, but did he go to the surgery? He couldn't be bothered. Now the kids are mostly grown and they've moved on.  Sadly, Kody doesn't add to their lives and that's a shame.  But Kody wants an apology from THEM. 

I think surgery was the straw for Christine. She finally realized she'd been doing the whole marriage all herself anyway, why not make it official? So she did. Next up? Janelle makes it official. Then, bringing up the rear (when she should have been first) is Meri.

I don't take pleasure in any family breaking up, but I do love seeing a selfish person confused about why the world keeps raining on them.  I hope Kody gets it, but I don't have hope with the way he treats his kids.

What a mess. 

State Hate -- We are ONE country people! A minor rant.

Listen, I know I'm from the US's most hated state. (California) and I'm fourth generation native, so I take this personally. I don't care if you hate California. I love California and I'd be there in a heartbeat if I could afford it.  But I can't.

And not because of the way I voted. This is not meant to be political, it's meant to talk about how we treat others as Americans.

California haters, who complain that we will move to your state and ruin your state, too, listen up.  We didn't ruin California. Greed did. I personally think it changed when tech became about stocks. It used to be Silicon Valley was a bunch of nerds playing with gadgets, and showing their friends what they could accomplish to make the world better. Then, money got involved and overtook the nerds. The perfect example of this is Steve Jobs overpowering Steve Wozniak at Apple. Jobs had vision, but Wozniak had the know-how. Jobs couldn't engineer anything!

So money flooded into Silicon Valley and normal families could no longer afford homes. International money swooped in and overpaid for houses with cash. So people fled so they could afford to feed and house their families.  I understand other states hate California because this happened in their states too, but it happened to Californians first. And if you don't tackle the original problem, it festers.

I think this hatred among states only helps the politicians to create division. It's a free country. We can live wherever we want.  You may not like it, but this is the law of the land. The division between red states and blue states may be political, but it shouldn't be personal. Judging someone by their state is ridiculous. We are all out here trying to make the best life for our families. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at your government who sells our farmland to our enemies for cash. 

What sparked this? Today on social media, I had a fellow Arizonan say, "Go back to your dystopian state."  Dude, I would love to. Advance me some cash and I am outta here!  

But why would any adult in this country say stuff like that to another?  Get mad all you want. Money is what is ruining your state. Money and greed by corporations, not families trying to create a life for their children. For every California jerk that moves somewhere, there is a litany of wonderful people who are trying to survive in a state that is outpricing them with crazy insurance rates, business regulations and taxes, house taxes and HOA's upwards of $500 a month.

This is where I used to walk my kids in a stroller. Trust me, I'll go back.