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December 2009
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The Grammys

First off, I have to point out, that Jamie Foxx performed in Adam Ant gear WITH his pants tucked into his boots.  And although my kids said he looked better than me when he did it, I'm going to tuck my jeans in with zeal.  If Lady Gaga can get away with dressing like Tinkerbell on steroids, and Pink can come out with a couple of band-aids, I'm confident to step out with 80's flair.

Loved the Lady Gaga & Sir Elton John song. The man hasn't skipped a beat in all these years. He's just talented, and Lady Gaga held her own beside him, and I'm not a big fan of Miss Poker Face.

Loved Beyonce's rendition of Allanis "Fatal Attraction" anthem, "You Oughta Know".  The claim is that song is about "Joey" from "Full House".  Hard to believe that guy could make anyone that angry, isn't it? You want that song to be about someone like "Slash", don't you?

Okay, weirdest pairing of the night:  Kei$ha and Justin Bieber.  So wrong.

Oh wait, Katy Perry & Alice Cooper was quite strange, though not disturbing like the above.

Skipped over the country stuff, and anything Jonas Brothers.  Unless, it was Taylor Swift.  She is so cute, and her gown was darling. Except when she tried to channel Stevie Nicks.  Especially since the legend was right next to her. Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, unless it's Taylor Swift dancing like Stevie Nicks.  Then, it's humorous.


Michael Jackson tribute: Loved it!  I didn't know Usher could sing that well. Celine Dion and Smokey Robinson and Jennifer Hudson brought down the house.  Could have done without Carrie Underwood.  Made me want to see "This is It!" again.  I can't take Celine seriously though.  Every time I see her, I think of her saying "Get a kayak!" in her French accent regarding Hurricane Katrina.  I know, so bad, but that's what I hear.  And then, I giggle.

Prince & Paris Jackson were darling.  It seems like they both have their father's quiet, thoughtful nature.

My kids think Bon Jovi looks 70.  "Why do they have so many seniors on this show?"  "He looks so ancient, he's rusty." "That's too much leather for an old guy." After slapping them upside the head, I explained that Bon Jovi is still the youngin' we loved in the 80's.  And we like his leather, thank you.  My kids love Bon Jovi, so I think they were just disturbed to see he was old like their parents. 

New weird couple: Placido Domingo & Mos Def. Then, I got bored and turned to real men who knew how to tuck their trousers in boots. Mr. Knightley from Jane Austen's Emma.  The Masterpiece Classic version ended on a high note. Sigh.


Fight for your right to 80's boots!

So these are my kids trying to stop me from leaving the house in my jeans tucked into my boots.  My older son got out the camera and then they tried to hide the boots from public view.  But once an 80's girl, always an 80's girl.  And if my kids are mortified in the process, all the more fun to be had.  Check out my daughter with her green band-aid -- and she's worried about MY image?


What's wrong with the concept of Mr. Right...

I'm on my second round of espresso this morning.  Is it pathetic when they start making your drink when you walk in?  I mean, this Starbucks is BUSY -- near HP and Apple, and you're telling me I'm their addict?  Okay, onto other things, like what's been plaguing my mind so that I cannot write today.

I saw yesterday that someone is publishing a book on dating and "Mr. Right" in the Christian industry, and while I think all of these relationship books can be helpful, I think we spend far too much time thinking about "Mr. Right" and this perfect connection that will mesh perfectly into our lives.  The whole concept is flawed. As you grow older, maybe your list grows longer...and maybe you haven't spent enough time becoming the person YOU should be while you're focusing on some imaginary friend's perfection.

1.  There is no perfect person -- and even if there were, then you'd be the one to screw things up.  Humans are innately flawed.  The secret is, to find those flaws that you can live with and vice versa. Let's say you find that perfect Christian who has never slept with another and has no skeletons in the closet -- he's perfect right?  Well, Christianity and values can be different things in different Christians.  An example?  My Christianity trends toward acceptance and meeting people where they are -- because of my background with a mentally retarded brother, I'm pretty good at nurturing people where they are in deep need and because I'm impulsive, I'm not as good with long-term commitments in ministry -- I'm better in a crisis.  My husband lived in East Palo Alto (the hood) and worked with kids who are now young men that he still knows and keeps up with and coaching -- his ministry skills trend towards consistency.

When we first got married, he tried to mold me into his view of ministry.  Let's just say, this went very badly.  You cannot and never will change who a person is at their core.  Do not try this at home.

2. Don't ignore flaws you find cute now.  Look at their roots:   I'm a slob.  I try to be neat, but messes seem to grow around me without my even trying.  When I had my husband over for dinner in my cute, little spotless studio, I opened the closet and things burst forth - I believe it's called reality.  My reality burst forth.  Clean is only my image.  My reality is that I hate dirt, and my house may smell like bleach, but I'll have trouble finding two shoes when I need them.

In sharp contrast, my husband's house had dust bunnies the size of farm animals and he had a clean laundry basket and a dirty laundry basket, but is bathroom drawer looked like a dentist's tray with all its utensils laid out. In other words, in my future I was going to be folding until eternity. Luckily, I don't mind that.  It gives me an excuse to watch bad reality TV.  It's a "flaw" I can live with.

My husband will not share toothpaste with me though.  I squeeze the thing to high heaven, he only squeezes from the bottom.  Whatever.

3.  Shared hobbies won't save you.  If you look on most guys' list of wants, they want someone athletic (read: skinny) who wants to do the things they want to do (read: bungee jump and skydive.)  Here's what I've seen in couples who have the same athletic prowess when they get married.  Eventually, there will probably be kids, and someone will have to stay home and let the other one have their adrenaline rush while they sit with the kids.  This causes resentment.  So unless you have a grandparent close by, and you're okay with leaving the kids, wipe this one off your list.  Give your hubby his time.  You have your time, and then decide together what your shared activities will be.  No one wants anyone without a life to be near someone else.  It's stifling. 

I know of an older couple who are together now, and exactly alike in their hobbies and interests.  And they are AWFUL to each other because guess what?  They don't let the other have the attention they need, and there's things within themselves they hate -- and it's only magnified in the other.

Not to mention, let's say you are beautiful and thin and your husband looks like Colin Firth, when the going gets rough, trust me, this will mean nothing.  It's what is inside that matters.  Of course, there's the initial attraction, but if you're going to face cancer, it's not going to be pretty, so make sure you love the SOUL of the person and that's what you find beautiful.

4.  Wealth solves nothing -- it only helps you mask your troubles, so if you think Mr. Darcy's 10,000 pounds a year will fix it, I've got news for you.  Let's face it, if you watch any of "The Housewives" shows, money can mask things pretty well.  But what people need is relationship.  Money is a poor substitute. And if the money disappears, you won't face that together if you have used money to mask issues.  You will resent one another.

I'm a spender.  If I had $1,000, I'd take the kids to Disneyland and say, the heck with milk, we'll have funnel cakes!  If my husband had $1,000, he'd put it in an interest-earning CD and make sure I couldn't touch it.  And you know what?  That would be smart.  We balance this by having an agreed-upon amount in the bank.  He is never going to want to spend money the way I do, and I'm never going to believe there's enough rainy days ahead to warrant all that "hoarding".  

5. What you want may not be what you need:  This is what I worry about with the current Bachelor.  He is clearly attracted to the "wild" girls.  The one who have a lot of life in them and live life to the full.  But he is boring as all getout.  I mean, he spends his weekends in his backyard and he's not a big adventurer.  He thought rolling down the hill in the sand was an "event".  If you're attracted to the ADD sort, who craves excitement and the world around them (like Vienna and Gia, for example) are they really going to be content changing diapers and making you mashed potatoes when you get home from traveling?  Not only that, but girls like that, who crave a lot of attention, are not going to be fond of staying home alone while you're galavanting all over the world.  So it's something to think about.  If you want a haus frau, stay away from the bikini models.  If you want to be on the back of a Harley, don't marry an accountant.

6. Look for someone who brings out the best in you:  Have you had boyfriends that turn you into a raving lunatic?  And the drama escalates because let's say your weakness is abandonment because your dad left your mom.  Do not find some guy who is going to go off on his own and tell you that you're paranoid for worrying.  You may not have a right to tell him what to do, but if that's a weakness, be honest.  Don't find the guy who is going to make you question your sanity all the time. Find the person who makes you your best person. Which brings me to this...

7.  Be honest about your own flaws and work on them:  Love, like money, brings out more of what we already are.  So if you're impulsive and think that having fourteen babies is a good idea, learn to live with the desire for awhile.  If you're bad at making decisions and sticking with them, learn to make a few impulsive choices and see if your life was really destroyed by deciding chicken instead of beef.

And here's yet another excuse to use this picture.  LOL  He was on "Charlie Rose" yesterday and I love this, he wanted to be an actor because he can't get up in the morning!  See, one would think we'd be perfect for each other, except my husband being a morning guy gets the kids off to school when I stay up until two to write.  Weigh your choices.   


Coming up for air...

Wow, what a week.  My book is due this weekend (Perfectly Pointless: A Universally Misunderstood Novel Book 2) and if anything can go wrong this week, it has.  First off, one of my besties, Diann Hunt, was diagnosed with cancer on Monday, so that took the wind out of my sails as we waited to hear what was next.  (Keep praying, she's scheduling surgery now!) It literally stopped me from working.  I sat in front of the computer, but nothing, came.  I was just numb.  

Diann and I tease about being God's comic relief.  So these last two years have sucked the life out of us, and we thought this was our year of relief, so to get back up for this news just STiNKS!

I's hard to write humor when your heart hurts.  But we're getting back up.  The four girls will all be together soon when Cheryl and I leave for Indiana, so there's much giggling in our future.

Colin Firth was on "Charlie Rose" tonight, so turning on the TV brightened my life.  Until I watched Bear Grylls eat a horn beetle (think giant Madagascar cockroach) and now I'll settle in for "American Idol" and hope my brain returns tomorrow. After last night's I think my weird interesting in Katy Perry is over. She was a mean girl!  And Avril Lavigne needs a good slap.  And can you tell me why she always looks like she needs a shower?  And how old is she?  Devil ears on your sweatshirt,.  Really?  

Watched the new BBC "Emma" -- has anyone noticed the knockout picture of Colin Firth as Darcy on the new beginning of Masterpiece Theater?  Or whatever they call it now.  I remember it when Alistair Cooke hosted, so I refuse to call it anything different.  That's my right as an old chick. Best version of "Emma" I've seen to date, but I really despise that character.

  IMG_2338 Diann & Me

I thought the giggling pics were best, but she threatened me if I used them.

Okay, Diann used this picture, so I guess it's all right now.  THIS is how she really is, full of life and laughter.

 Colleen and girls 6 (1)

The Bachelor does California..

I'm on a tight deadline, so I’m going to rush thru this.  Excuse any typos. 

First off, may I just say I love the trip through California.  Does my state rock or what?? I love you, California, you’re the greatest state of all.  (That’s from our state song, which stinks beyond measure, and me singing it?  Horrific.  Be glad there’s no audio.)

But let’s get real.  How many girls in a RV? A tent? Camp chairs? Shoot me now, that is not a date, that is a test of what these girls are made of.  My husband did it to me too.  And please, guys aren’t as rough and tumble as they think.  When they get to be, say 40 or so, they all want a hotel bed, just like you.  So let’s not throw him out of this yet because of a horrific idea of a vacation.  Road trips suck.  I don’t care how much you love the people you’re with, personal space is essential in relationship. 

Gia got the first one on one, which consisted of hot dogs and smores over an open fire.  Really?  Their game of "hide & seek" and “spin the bottle” had me a bit nauseous, but I like Gia and I like their chemistry. I think she’s cute without being vomit-inducing.  Points for Gia for the night.

Jake in his aviator glasses at the beach: me thinks he’s watched “Top Gun” one too many times. Dune buggies: let’s face it, Jake is about as action-oriented as I am, so why the adrenaline dates? 

Then, it’s onto the Madonna Inn, which was a beautiful place in say, 1960.  Now, it smells like the 20 year old ice cream pressed into the ancient carpet and mold. And like one too many Cal Poly frat boys have had their pledge drives there.  Um, I’d take the RV and that’s saying something.

Jake and Tenley kissing seem like first cousins kissing.  Something doesn’t feel right there and that poor girl, they are editing her so that she’s not the sharpest crayon in the box. Tenley, as sweet as she seems, would get on my nerves and I'm ready for her to cartwheel out of my life.

Then, it’s onto Big Sur – where I spent a MISERABLE church weekend 9 months pregnant with only a disgusting outhouse as facilities. But the redwoods and the beach are amazing, still, that’s where you’d want a RV. Which I know, is bad for the ancient trees. You can’t tell me that outhouse is nature at its best.

This is an especially catty group of women, and they hiss nasty.  When they get sent home, they are all convinced Jake will rue the day they disappeared, and that he’s going to make a HUGE mistake.  Guess what girls?  Lots of guys make huge mistakes.  You will watch them walk off with them time and time again in your local singles’ group.  The heart is a fickle creature and contrary to what these (SINGLE!) women believe, the prettiest/smartest girl doesn’t win.  It’s that unseen chemistry that makes you feel as if you’ve known a person forever and you want to take care of them, come what may.  The woman who makes Jake the best Jake he can be?  That will be his lady, even if all the other women despise her.  His mom will know, we'll have to see that.

Love and chemistry are powerful forces.  Stronger than these gals putting on their acts (Ali!) or rocking a bikini, it’s that force that makes a guy believe he is the luckiest man in the world to be on your arm and honored you're looking at HIM.  Back to Ali.  I think she’s a black widow, and she needs to stop starting angry gossip with everyone about her own war with Vienna.  I really think she’s the one that’s made that drama so over the top, but her hatred of Vienna is just strange.  It looks like jealously, but also like Ali always has someone she makes "all bad" to get rid of her own bad energy.

Finally, they end up at Montalvo for the rose ceremony.  That’s the town we just left.  Saratoga, CA.  Sigh.  Montalvo is where you go see acts like Kenny Loggins and others who enjoy smaller venues.  It’s gorgeous there, all outside and where they filmed the private time is where the bar is usually set up. Just sayin’ – made me want to go see a show. 

I have nothing to say about Jessie (who should have gone just for those bad black Flashdance pants at the campsite -- a crime against fashion!), Kathryn, Ella and Ashleigh leaving, other than I’m glad I didn’t have to exit those stairs in stilettos.  So tonight, I still like Vienna, moreso when people are picking on her.  Get a life.  And I am adding Gia to my favorites and I’m dropping Ali off, Corrie and Tenley, who is young, like Jake likes them, but I keep expecting her to break into a Disney show tune.  She’s a bit much..  What say you?

Yoga and Christianity...

Today, I got an email asking me if Yoga was compatible with Christianity, and then, a link to buy the Scriptural answer or tune into a radio show to hear the definitive Christian word on the subject.

To say, I have issues with this is, to put it mildly.  Nothing can separate me from the love of God, and I cannot earn my way in by adhering to the rules.  I used to listen to this ministry on the radio regularly, but one day, I just couldn't stand to hear the guy's voice.  I was like, do you have ANYTHING positive to say?  Is there anything that lives up to your version of Christianity? 

Listen, I get that he has a different ministry than me, and that there are a lot of dangers is lacking discernment over the Word.  But it breaks my heart, when we as Christians, banter over something as trivial as Yoga, when people are suffering and dying in Haiti.  When people around the world are martyred for their faith in Jesus, does it really matter what I think about yoga?  Or is it a way that Satan can make me believe I'm better than my sister because "I don't do that."  It doesn't matter if the issue is drinking, dancing, watching the Bachelor or yoga.  

"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.  The man who eats everything must not look down on the man who does not, and the man who does eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him." Romans 14:1-3

If you cannot go to a brother and sister in love and tell them your concerns for their path, you're probably judging and should just shut up.  It may be YOUR issue, not theirs, but that's too painful to look at most of the time, isn't it? Something about a plank and some sawdust. Yada, yada, yada...

As for yoga, I'm a huge fan.  It has taken my balance and restored it to pre-MS levels. I use my quiet time with the Lord and I give Him praise for healing in a natural way.  Every good and perfect gift comes from Him.  


Still Want to be a Writer?

I'm minding my own business here and I get a Google alert for a site of Christian book reviews so that I can gain a better, purpose-filled life.  Well, I'm all for that. Sign me up!  And I go and see these words, no explanation, no review, just plain ol' angst.  Apparently, I'm too flaky for her.  But I just want to say, my visit did not make my life more purpose-filled.  I hope it has better results with others.  Here's the quote.  And to add insult to injury, she spelled my name wrong. LOL

I do not like Kristen Billerbeck. I love Ann Dayton, Liz Higgs, and Penelope Stokes.What are some of the great books of fiction Chrstian that focus on women (who do not have to be modern girl true visionary) unrealistic and flaky?

 Photo on 2010-01-18 at 16.19
 I very well may be flaky, but I am the proud owner of a new Elliott Lucca bag. So flaky, check.  Happy, check.  And you should get to know me, I'm very likable actually. As is my buttery leather handbag with handles that feel like cashmere to the touch...

Team Vienna...

Ali is the captain of the mean girls. I honestly felt like I was watching that movie tonight. If they'd brought in a pig, it could have been "Lord of the Flies".  Ali's trying to get people to make a pact to bring down Vienna?  What is this, rush? She confused poor, crazy Michelle, and Michelle is already confused.  But we'll get to that later.  May I just state for the record, that I do not like Ali and I do not like how she tries to make herself feel better by getting everyone else to gang up on Vienna.

And did I miss something?  What is Vienna doing that everyone hates her?  She wears her heart on her sleeve, and if people feel her pumped-up energy after her A-MA-ZING date.  Too bad.  Why is Ali so focused on Vienna?  Because Ali knows who her competition is..and she wants to bring Vienna down...any way she can. That right there tells me Ali is not ready to be a wife.  Vienna was focused on her feelings for Jake.  Ali was also focused on that too.  Ali felt "betrayed" by their date.  That's the point of the show.

I got very attached to Vienna after their date.  I LOVED that Jake didn't talk the whole way out of fear.  It just made him so darling and it allowed Vienna to nurture and put her own fears aside so they could face the bungee together.  I thought that was darling when she said before the jump, "We got this!"

I also thought Jake seemed most like himself on this date, and not just the standard gentleman who always does the right thing. Felt like he let his guard down with Vienna.

Michelle is absolutely delusional on this episode.  I do hope they gave her help after the show because she sits in front of the camera having these fantasy moments about this romance that is only going on in her head.  She is not with us on this planet, and you can see when she's told a different reality, it shocks her.  That's not funny.  It's creepy.  Her comedy club routine was straight out of a horror picture.  I think it's called "Carrie".

I am glad Jake gave Ashleigh the rose after her breakdown about going on stage.  She had a full-on snotfest with the ugly cry, and then did a fabulous job.  For getting ugly and facing he fears, she deserved one.  Even though she's not my fave. 

What was that obscene routine little Tenley did?  How is that comedy exactly? Writhing around on the floor and turning into a human pretzel is a. not attractive and b. only funny if we're allowed to laugh at your cluelessness.  And I don't think we were supposed to. When Jon Lovitz uses you as a punchline, something didn't go right.

SO glad to see Elizabeth and her fake "don't kiss me" go home.  She didn't see how she was a tease?  Really?  Then, she gets on stage and does a raunchy comedy act?  I think Elizabeth was there to win.  She knew Jake wanted the "innocent" type and that's what she played.  But ultimately, in our scheming the real us eventually emerges.  Ask my husband.  (This is another reason I like Vienna, what you see, is what you get. It may not always be pretty, but it's true.)

Corey -- I HATED her routine about the other girls.  It said to me, "I'm not focused at all on Jake, because this is all about winning."  I'd send her home.  Jake didn't. Boo.

At the cocktail party, which is always awkward, more so this year as the women clearly despise one another and can't even feign idle conversation.  They may all be turning their wrath on Vienna, but that wrath is within.  They're all control freaks and they want the wheel.  Jake is doing a good job of keeping it in his hands.  Kudos for sending Michelle home, Jake.  I honestly hope she gets in better touch with a place called reality.  Not since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley have we been graced with a more awkward television kiss.

Ella -- most boring date ever.  Even the flamingos tried to drown Jake out when he gave her the rose.  Why Jake, why? Send her home with Ethan and his fake plane.  Was that the kid with the plane?  Please.  I have boys.  No boy that age is going to be coddling a metal airplane.  She probably picked it up at the airport on her way in.

Finally, one more comment about Vienna when she interrupts teasey Elizabeth the nanny:  I like how Vienna disarms him.  He sort of loses his composure with her, and I think that is so cute.

Elizabeth the Nanny and Valisha the homemaker with no husband went home.  I'm liking Vienna, but she's me.  She says what she thinks.  She makes enemies without knowing why and she's in marketing.  But I warn you, Jake.  It's cute now, how she says everything she thinks, wears her heart on her sleeve...but when she's yelling at you about your underpants on the floor, when she justifies yet another handbag, I want you to remember these days.  Remember how cute it was that she managed to silence a room with her comments?  It might not be so cute in eighteen years.  Not that I'd know or anything.