Sorry gang, somehow I forgot to post this last night after I wrote it.
I will try to sum up enthusiasm for the most boring rehash of the most boring Bachelor series in recent memory. First off, is there anyone out there who thinks this is remotely real any longer? I mean, what is up with wanting to be famous? Didn't we leave that battle at the high school lunch table where it belongs?
Short answer: No we did not. As evidenced by the new and fun franchise of let's get slutty in Vegas with other Bachelor/Bachelorettes, called fittingly, The Bachelor gives Back. "It's like we're a fraternity!" No, it's like it's like you are a walking advertisement for STDs. What I hate about these interviews, is everyone tries to vie for who can be the biggest, raging JERK for some camera time. I think Wes was our winner, incidentally.
So we get to see some familiar faces romp around in swimsuits at a Vegas bar, and then fast-forward to the AMAZING, good work that the Bachelor franchise does now. Is there no end to what these people will do for press? Did you see the little Saint Lucia kids, "Yeah, we have no idea who you are. Leave the computer equipment and walk away slowly; short white man in bad tropical wear."
Let's talk for a minute about how all these people had JOBS, and suddenly, they seem like losers with nowhere to be during the day. You know what this franchise is now? This is what people do INSTEAD of wait tables hoping to be discovered and be seen as a real ACTOR. You had your fifteen minutes. Next!
Speaking of acting, Ali's nice girl act to make nice with Vienna, so that she can be the next Bachelorette was disgusting. If you fall for her? I'm worried for your discernment skills. Go read some Austen. Ali was fed her lines and her "brand" by producers and PR gurus alike to get her ready for the Bachelorette. Which I am totally NOT watching. BTW, did you notice my favorite Reid, a guy with a REAL job who should have been this year's bachelor was nowhere to be found? That's right, people because he has an actual job.
How is it that all these GORGEOUS people are all still single? Maybe some of the work needs to be done on the inside. Just a thought.
Poor Vienna, she's been skewered in the tabloids. Translation. "Did you hear that skewered. And do you want to know why? Because she is a moron who cannot compete with the likes of me and I want to make sure none of you miss who's right here. "I'm SO sorry, Vienna." She says to the camera with all the sincerity of a losing politician. If she IS the next Bachelorette, you mark my words, you will not be able to stomach her by week three.
So I still love Gia. I think she should have been the next Bachelorette. I also think she would have made a good couple with him. But he's too needy to trust that she wasn't falling over with love for him, since Vienna was willing to gush. Tenley: She's there because Jake doesn't want to seem like the bad guy letting her go, I mean she's the PERFECT wife, right? Maybe if you see me pick Vienna over her, you'll understand I wanted to do the right thing, but then...then there was a love that could not be denied.
Finally, onto Rozlyn and the train wreck that had to happen since she, being a single mother, had to defend her honor. Forget the fact that there is no such thing on this show. She proceeds to lie, though everyone calls her on her version of the truth. She doesn't let that bother her, she just hurls some accusations of her own. Lies. And lies badly, I might add. Then, she digs her hole a little deeper with the fact that she's met the producer's dad and he drove across country to see her. Oh yeah, that's nothing.
My biggest issue with the night was how utterly catty our Chris Harrison has turned. It's bad enough he has to say this is the MOST AMAZING CONCLUSION ever, at every closing to every scene or find a way to say, "Ladies, the last rose." without busting up. But then, to watch him cat fight with Rozlyn, and try to get her to admit to something, I just thought, you know, he is EXACTLY like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde when she proves her murder case because of her perm knowledge. There is no leaving with your dignity in tact -- even if it is the most AMAZING exit EVER seen on the Bachelor!
Rozlyn demonstrated one of my most-hated pet peeves. People who throw things back at you rather than answer your question or admit to their failures. I think Tiger might be free soon, Roz. Never fear.