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Frank, or Kermit as I like to call him, decided after much angst and neurotic rambling that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend.  And lucky her!  She got to sit and listen while Frank said things like, "We had an amazing connection right from the start."  

Or..."Ali is an amazing girl."

Note to Frank:  It's not about you here.  IF you want the girl back, ixnay on the ialay.  But then he mentions that when he goes to sleep after hanging with Ali and connecting with her amazing self, he'd fall asleep thinking only of her.  If I wrote that scene, seriously, do you know how many reader letters I'd get saying, "No way, she wouldn't take him back after that."  Hence, the reason fiction has to be believable. She takes him back.  She tells us he completes her. Ugh.  This is like how to not end up dysfunctionally married.

Now, we are on Tahiti.  Why does Ali have a yellow bikini top on with red bottoms? She looks like the McDonald's logo.  Suddenly, I'm craving french fries. 

So I think I've found the fatal flaw in "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" -- there are these direct questions, and here's the unrealistic part.  The guys answer them!  I think when put on the spot, their first reaction is from their football training: avoid a direct hit.  Divert! Change Course! Or the easiest:  Lie and look deeply in her eyes like you mean it. (Take your cue from Jake Pavelka on this one.)

But seriously, I think they have more tape on feelings from these bachelors than I have in eighteen years' of marriage.  Do guys do this?  Or do they fix the toilet and call it a day?  I have yet to see any guy sit down and say, "I'm feeling this way right now, but if this happens, I will be feeling like that, and if it doesn't happen, then I will feel this way."

Seriously, we must stop perpetuating this myth that guys talk like gay men about their intensely changing feelings.  So doesn't happen.  Oh he'll tell you, but he'll tell you the way Frank told his girlfriend.  Um, I sorta liked this girl, but then, I sorta liked you and -- hey help me out here, will you ask me back so I can stop talking?

Was it me or did Roberto hesitate a little too long on the "fantasy suite" question. And Ali didn't even seem to notice.  I wonder if the camera man had to schlepp through the water to get to the fantasy suite.

I thought her chemistry was better with Chris truthfully. But I got sidetracked by "The Pearl" hunt because it made me remember that Steinbeck book and how much I hated it.  That was Steinbeck right? LOL  Chris doesn't seem cerebral enough for Ali, but they're going to dinner now.  So we'll see if he has something brilliant to say.  Okay, he just said, "It's just the two of us."  In a way that made me happy he could count that high.  

Chris is back to his mom. How wounded is too wounded?  Chris didn't hesitate on the fantasy suite, and that's my point exactly.  Men may say stupid things like "it's just the two of us alone", but a room key they understand.

Note to Ali:  You did NOT give up everything to be there.  You're in TAHITI, SHUT UP!!!  People give up everything to cross borders for their family.  They give up everything to take the message of the Cross to foreign cultures.  You gave up a sales job at Facebook and an overpriced apartment in San Francisco, okay?  Little perspective.

Frank is back with sniveling Chris Harrison. Dang, Chris acts like a girl.  He is that friend who pretended to be your friend, then ran back to the other crowd and told all your secrets.  Chris is using the same lines he used with Jake, "I'm blown away...everything was so great...then..." Frank's discussing his feelings are real.  He overanalyzes everything ad nauseum.  He's a writer.  Take note, Nicole.  IT is not an easy life to live with a writer.

Now, as if Frank doesn't feel bad enough, Chris drives the proverbial stake through his heart and says, "Think about Ali."  Like they didn't plan when all this would happen.  That sucks!  Then Chris says, "Okay, this is how it's going to go." I am sure that Frank is shaking in his boots to tell Ali.  Remember what happened to poor Justin?  

Is it a drinking game to drink when they say, "Amazing Connection" on this show, because if it's not, it should be.  It was made for that.  Not that I ever played this game -- and incidentally, I didn't.  Not a drinker.  But if I were, I would think this would be a drunk-inducing phrase.

Now Ali's crying because she tried to reassure Frank and now he's leaving.  He was waiting for his life to happen to him basically.  Be in charge of yourself, dude. Oh here she goes again with the I've given up everything. Frank doesn't know what he wants.  Not a good trait in a spouse.  See ya!  

"I can't believe you're doing this!"  With the implication TO ME.  Should he pretend like Jake?  It was she who had commitment problems last season with Jake.  I think she'd have more grace for Kermit. He said he kept himself in the game because he didn't know.  She says to Chris that he's a liar because he kept himself in the game.  He's not a liar.  He's just emotionally retarded and he can't make you feel bad -- you do that to yourself.  Just sayin'

Chris Harrison has run back from one group of girls to the other.  He is friends with everybody that Chris. So Ali says if there's another girl, just tell her.  A show of hands for anyone who thinks a guy who told her was safe?  Anyone?  Beuler?  Now she's in the anger phase.  "Biggest jerk I've ever known." 

I feel for her though.  But falling in love IS putting your heart on the line.  It IS giving someone the right to walk away from you if they don't want to stay.  That's why it's scary.  I think Ali wants too much from a guy.  It doesn't matter who she picks, at some point, someone who loves you will hurt you.  She quotes her best friend (ie., Eleanor Roosevelt, Ali, do some homework!) 

Chris is a serious manipulator.  Rose ceremony.  Ali is dressed like Rhoda. Yada, yada, yada -- guys tell all next week.  Should be a good one.  What did you think?


I'm turning Chinese, I think I'm turning Chinese, I really think so...

 As you probably know by now, I live in a very Asian part of town.  What you don't know is why I can never go back. Never!  Here's what got me thinking about how I'm innately Asian, and I like it this way:  My son took a Facebook quiz and said he was 101% Asian.  LOL  

Most of the Chinese who live here are Mandarin-speaking -- San Francisco, in Chinatown, is mostly Cantonese.  The cultures are very different, so I'm going to let you know, why I consider myself Mandarin.  Tuesday night my guys had church teen group in Mountain View -- which is where we first lived.  They were born there.  I could not get a STINKIN' coffee at 7:30 pm.!!! My daughter wailed, "What the heck is wrong with this town?"  I finally settled at Peet's, which did not go well with me because I am my "Treat receipt" from Starbucks that morning, and I was looking for a bargain.  But I digress.

Tonight, I was craving something sweet, so I went to get a Bubble Tea at the local strip mall.  You cannot MOVE in that place at night -- it's full to the brim.  It consists of a Yogurtland, a Verde Tea Cafe, a Japanese Grocery store, my favorite restaurant (The Pot Sticker King -- Taiwanese, yum!) and a Beard Papa's (Japanese creme puffs -- to die for good!) and on the white side of the center there's an Elephant Bar, but I never go there.  Because I'm Asian.  I just look Italian. 

If I head the other way to the strip mall, there's a Chinese grocery store and a Chinese bakery, and this is another way I consider myself Asian.  Their bakery opens at 8:30.  And if you're lucky, the rolls are ready by 9 a.m.  Because they're up at night, so there's no reason to need a warm bun at an ungodly hour.  These centers are thriving at night.  When they SHOULD be.  While I can't get a coffee in my old neighborhood, I could still find a pedicure or a Foot Spa massage at 9 pm.  Because really, do your feet hurt at 8 a.m.?  They don't, right?  So the Chinese are practical.  I like this.

I also love that a language barrier means nothing to them as business people.  All I have to know how to do is point to a menu of various spa treatments, and say Shee Shee when I'm done.  Which I'm sure is not spelled right, but it's "thank thank" and with cash, it works and it means I'm appreciative -- especially with a tip.  I've got "Nee how" down, which means hello.  I'm sure that's the hillbilly spelling.  

Finally, the Chinese, like Italians, say anything.  Truth is their guide. So if your hair looks bad on a particular day?  They'll ask you if you forgot to brush it.  If your gray is showing through, a hairstylist will tell you to get yourself a box of dye (as happened today incidentally, and she was right.)  And you know what else?  For $15 I got the best haircut!  But I also heard that I needed to dye my roots, and that my ears were too big to wear my hair back.  I'm home!

Frank Neuschaefer -- Villain with a Poet's Heart on Bachelorette?

So you already know, Frank sort of drives me nuts.  I cannot look at his picture and not see human Kermit the Frog.  What is THAT? But now I'm feeling sorry for him.  Honestly, I think there's going to be a special place in hell for Mike Fleiss and the crap he stirs up on that show for ratings. He is casting people in roles on "TheBachelor", "The Bachelorette" and now "Bachelor Pad" -- it doesn't matter that you don't actually fit the role.  Fleiss will rewrite your life.  Then, he'll employ evil minion, Chris Harrison to do his dirty work.  Have you read Chris' blog?  I personally can't stomach it, because he is so full of crap and lagging behind RealitySteve, yet we're supposed to believe he's letting us in on something.


Hello.  Chris is the propaganda machine and if you didn't have proof after that interview with Jake and Vienna, there's no hope for you.  So you know, I'm not a Jake Pavelka fan.  I think he has real anger/control issues but see, Mike Fleiss made this pilot a hero.  That was his role.  So the fact that he showed his true colors with Vienna -- as a stone-hearted victim, who feels machines like GPS machines and tape measures can undermine him -- this is a problem for Fleiss.  Let's give Chris his props.  He worked his darndest that night to get Jake out of his own ugliness, "What are you sorry for?"  Paraphrasing here:  "I'm sorry that the world doesn't see me for the picture of perfection that I am, and I'm really annoyed that this Barbie doll talks.  What is up with that?  If I wanted an opinion, I wouldn't have picked the Hooters girl, all right?" 

But Jakey couldn't play along with Chris' leading questions because Jakey has rights and he is missing what we'd call EQ.  And darn it, Jake picked the party girl so he didn't have the right to be questioned.  "Chris, aren't there bonus points -- like some kind of equation where I get extra when I deduct my girlfriend's IQ points?"  

"I'm sorry Jake.  Thanks for playing our game." How dare reality enter this world?  Keep in mind, both Fleiss and Chris have to salvage what they can of Jake.  They are invested, and he's going to be on the Bachelor Pad.  Note to Fleiss:  We do not care for Pavelka.  He ticked us off when he beat up on his dance partner verbally and then found himself emasculated by a tape measure.  Call this one a loss and move on.  And next time, listen to me.  Reid or Kiptyn.  Everyone TOLD you, and yet you ignored us and went with the snore factor of Jake.  

Hear me now.  I speak for the fans:  ROBERTO!!!!  Don't be giving us Chris, who I love by the way, despite his unfortunate and ill-timed whale comment, but good husband material does not make good "Bachelor" material.  Just so we understand one another.


But it's happening again.  Fleiss, according to Reality Steve , has made Frank Neuschaefer from Chicago, this season's villain.  Okay, first it possible to have a villain that looks and dresses like Kermit the Frog?  I'm thinking not, but maybe I don't understand the power Fleiss and his talking head, Chris Harrison, actually wield.  But wait, there's more!  Add Felix Unger's neurotic personality to this so-called heartbreaker and give him the setting of living with his Mommy.  Yeah, now we're talking Third Reich kind of evil. Let the games begin!

Personally, I don't think Fleiss is that good.  I think he's losing his touch.  He couldn't see behind Jake's handsome exterior, that there's a serious lack of connection with humanity.  And I don't think he sees in Frank, that there is a passionate soul in that neurotic package.  This is a guy who left a good-paying job to follow his dream to be a writer.  So he is clearly not motivated by money.  Nobody who seriously looks into being a writer could possibly be motivated by money.  Trust me on this one.

So maybe he thought this stint would help his career in Hollywood with the Screenplay Guild -- and you know what, it probably will.  They'll know who he is.  They'll know he has an unmistakable charm and that he's willing to fight for his dream.  Go Frank!  Anytime a writer gets a paycheck, a bell rings.

But according to many sources, Frank has been set up to be the evil villain who breaks Ali's heart -- which is doubly bad because Ali worried this would happen! Apparently, in next week's episode, we'll see him tell his former girlfriend he wants to get back together and then go to whatever tropical haven will make a great backdrop for Bachelorettes in bikinis this season --  to "dump" Ali. 

Frank is saying that he wasn't given a choice about the way this went down.  So again, I ask you, where is the reality here?  If you're fearful of getting dumped, do not tell Mike Fleiss!  He's like Saw 18 -- only he cuts you with videotape.  So Kermit is probably innocent and props to him for following his heart.  I think Ali is looking for a "You complete me" kind of romance, and not only is that incredibly ignorant for a woman her age, but it's downright messed up when you're under contract with the "Bachelorette".  And I will not make any Miss Piggy references, but it is a bit tempting...

Reality Steve -- Here's a reality check

 I love Reality Steve.  If you're not familiar with him, he's been calling the Bachelor/Bachelorette for a few seasons.  He has sources, and he claims Ali picks no one, despite what the "Us Weekly" says, and let's face it, People and Us are both owned by ABC and print what they want them to print.  That is proven by the fact that they both carried sociopath Jake Pavelka's story as if he's the sane one, who is simply misunderstood.  Um, NOT.  

So back to RealitySteve  , and where I need to give him a little reality of my own.  He is putting on a Bachelor cruise, and Reid Rosenthal was going to be there hosting the event.  REID, people!  I'm still fawning over Reid and his charm and I'm an old lady.  With four kids!  

Anyway, Steve says there's a minor change to he cruise.  Reid can't be there because he has prior commitments, so only the names have been changed and Ty (from Nashville) will be hosting.  Ty, the guy who thinks all women should have a career -- as long as they're pregnant and barefoot and the career is being a stay-at-home-mom -- that Ty.  Reality Steve, reality CHECK.  Ty is NOOO Reid.  In fact, I can't remember a thing about Ty, other than his Ozzy & Harriet view of life.  But I think I have photographic memory on Reid.  Which may or may not be an issue.

Ali's Hometown Dates

I am not a fan of the hometown dates.  I think they go to too many families' houses and it has to feel terrible to let anyone go after meeting their families.  But will that stop me from overanalyzing them?  Heck no.

Roberto in Tampa

Wow, Tampa is beautiful, who knew?  Roberto in a baseball uniform also not bad. Going to his home, I'm a little frightened of his daddy and the trophy shrine to Roberto.  I mean, there are like no decorations, except this giant pyramid of trophies.  As a future wife, I will say, I am still trying to get rid of all the trophies.  Remember the wagon wheel coffee table in "When Harry Met Sally"?  That is what the trophy is to a future wife.

I loved the warmth of Roberto's family though, and them dancing together.  Ali has white girl disease, something she had in common with Jake.  She played a much better game of baseball than salsa dancing.  I liked his family and thought they were very warm, but I don't think they're a great match.  I think their backgrounds are way too different.  If that's who she picks, I worry about that one.

Chris in Cape Cod.  I really loved the house!  IT felt like the most natural fit for Ali to me.  What do you think?  I think the love and warmth in Chris' family is really something, and would definitely be the easiest fit for her, but I don't think she's going to see that.  

They're both very East Coast and I loved how warm Chris' sisters-in-law and how protective they are of him.  I love how his dad just welcomed her right in and chastised her for stealing his roommate, and I think there a good match.  Will she go for the bling though?  I'm a comfort girl, so I'd go for the guy who felt like a warm blanket, no question.  Plus, I have white girl disease too.

Kirk in Green Bay.  Never been a Kirk fan, but after tonight, I am.  My heart broke for him having to leave.  He's got enough going on at home with a dad who keeps animal parts in the basement freezer.  I'm glad he got his heart broke though because now maybe he'll know it's worth risking.  The way Kirk's dad asks her to go to the basement is right out of an afterschool special.  Freaky!

Frank in Chicago.  I don't know why, but he reminds me of  the human version of Kermit the Frog.  He talks forever and he says nothing.  But she is obviously into him and their chemistry is something.  But he says like, more than me, and I'm like, totally a Valley girl.  I think he gets to me because he overanalyzes everything and ruins moments.  I do that.  So it bugs me to watch it played out in front of me because I am annoying!

So I pick Chris for her, and I think she's going to go for the bling and pick Roberto.  She seems happier with Roberto, but more herself with Chris.  What do you all think?

Comments on my blog...

Okay, I think I fixed the comment issue all y'all who can't comment.  I hope it's working now.  If not, well, I live in Silicon Valley and I will make my way outside and ask someone to come and assist me.  I need only to walk two steps to find an IT person around here, right?  Right.

Oh, fun little story for you while I'm here about me and my big mouth.  Yesterday, I wore my "Glee Live" T shirt to the grocery store and the bagger girl said, "Oh my gosh, I love, love, love your shirt.  It's my favorite show!" And then she says to the checker, "And just never mind!" 

The guy behind the counter says, "No, I like that show.  It's a good show.  I just don't like when they break into song." 

And what comes out of my mouth?  "Well, that would be the straight part of you."  ROFLOL  Open mouth, insert foot.  At least they were painted pretty, just had a pedi.  Kb-signature

Ty as the Next think?

Ty on Ali

Because I'm thinking no.  No offense, I'm sure Ty is a nice guy, but I am really tired of passive men.  I don't find them attractive, and I don't really think they're good husbands.  Ali implied that Ty's old fashioned values were not a good fit.  Being raised with a 1950's style mom may have caused problems in his first marriage.  

Hmm.  That's interesting because as a stay-at-home mom, I shouldn't agree, but I really do see a lack of respect in many marriages where the wife stays home.  Shouldn't both jobs be lifted up as equal?  They should, but are they?  

I am a stay-at-home mom, but I could NOT take not having my own money.  I did not like being dependent on someone for all my cash, or having to explain where all my money went and though he rarely asked, dont' think that it wasn't implied, "I see your toenails and they are a new color."  Could be my own guilt, not any implication, but it bugged me.  If I wanted to do something stupid, like go to a foot spa, that was my deal, right?  To me, money means freedom and not having my own was like being in a jail.

So I think I'm with Ali here.  I think I'd want to see more respect for a woman who worked or who didn't from Ty.  I think staying home with children is so important, but it's not more important than respect in marriage.  Just sayin' 

But here's something interesting that may or may not be related to this conversation -- to me, it relates to Jake Pavelka.  John Gottman, the marriage expert contends that "men who batter women were unable to accept any influence from women, no matter how reasonable and gentle the influence attempt was."  

Now, think back to Vienna suggesting that Jake use a GPS system and tell me if you don't see some possible trouble there.  Further Gottman says, "success in marriage hinges on the man's willingness to accept influence from his partner."  

Respect is a huge issue for men, but I wonder if some of these men in today's world associate "power" with respect.  When they have power over someone, they'll get the respect they deserve, so is that why some want their wives to stay home?  Gosh, I pray not, I really do.  But I admire Ali for asking the questions and being honest about her own needs.  

So with regards to Ty, I feel the same about Chris.  I like him as a person, but he'd make a boring Bachelor.  Roberto would make a great one, but I think she picks him.  Really, I think the show should go bye-bye and that I should get a life.

The Passage by Justin Cronin


I am exhausted today.  Although only half-way through this book, I am mesmerized by it.  It's nothing like I would normally read.  It has weird vampire monsters and underground FBI/government science experiments.  It's set in the future and just...odd.  In a fabulous way!  First of all, Justin Cronin is a FANTASTIC writer.  The way he creates characters is so well-rounded and deep, Dickens comes to mind.  The way he tackles evil within the guise of story is Dostoevsky and his commentary on our social world is very Austen.  Seriously, he has me reading about weird bat-like creatures and world domination by a flulike virus.  Could I care less about such subjects?  I could not.  And yet, I am exhausted because I can't put it down.  

But here's the best thing about the book to me.  It contains a lot of pure evil.  A lot of swearing.  A lot of awful people with terrible/good motives.  It makes you question who is truly evil.  A murderer who killed a woman before she harmed her children?  Because he loved her?  Interesting concept, don't you think?  

God's Supernatural power being highlighted amongst the evil is what really stands out to me about this book, and it's interesting to me because this book could never get published in the Christian marketplace.  We would not ever accept that a killer may have had ulterior motives.  Or that a nun might be so in tune with God because of the true evil she has already endured.  There are some truly deep spiritual messages in this book, and I do wish we could get to a place where we could handle this kind of discussion in a Christian book rather than simply looking good on the outside.  As sinners...we are so much more complicated than good vs. bad.  That's why my favorite verse is Proverbs 16:2 -- All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Ask any Christian author, and they will tell you that their worst reviews are on a Christian website.  With comments like, "Christians don't struggle with these issues.  These are issues of the world."  Really?  Really, are their Christians who believe that we are so very different from the world?  That the world notices us as so different from them?  How I wish that it were true.  I think this book makes it true and shows us what true Christianity and sacrificial living look like.  With a lot of F bombs.  Go figure.


Delight yourself in the Lord...even on bad hair days.

This is the name of the devotional book I'm working on with Debby Mayne, Trish Perry and TWO ovarian cancer survivors: Diann Hunt and Sandra Bricker.  Praise GOD for that!!

I have to say though, the timing couldn't be better...worse?  What's the word?  There are so many prayer needs right now.  So many loved ones fighting cancer, so many friends who have lost spouses/parents recently.  Sometimes, it all feels like a wave crashing over you.  

So I'm frustrated.  It probably shows in the blog and I'm working on the mindset, on knowing God's in charge and there's a reason for everything.  But wow, life can be rough, can't it?  I've been reading a type of book I would never read usually.  It's an end-of-the-earth/scientific/vampire bugs kind of book called "The Passage" and I am loving it!  

For once, I don't want to read a biography.  Maybe this is the way God will expand my horizons and widen my world.  I sure hope there's purpose in it.  No, I know there is, but hopefully, we will be back to your regularly-scheduled fluffy life soon.