Frank, or Kermit as I like to call him, decided after much angst and neurotic rambling that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. And lucky her! She got to sit and listen while Frank said things like, "We had an amazing connection right from the start."
Or..."Ali is an amazing girl."
Note to Frank: It's not about you here. IF you want the girl back, ixnay on the ialay. But then he mentions that when he goes to sleep after hanging with Ali and connecting with her amazing self, he'd fall asleep thinking only of her. If I wrote that scene, seriously, do you know how many reader letters I'd get saying, "No way, she wouldn't take him back after that." Hence, the reason fiction has to be believable. She takes him back. She tells us he completes her. Ugh. This is like how to not end up dysfunctionally married.
Now, we are on Tahiti. Why does Ali have a yellow bikini top on with red bottoms? She looks like the McDonald's logo. Suddenly, I'm craving french fries.
So I think I've found the fatal flaw in "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" -- there are these direct questions, and here's the unrealistic part. The guys answer them! I think when put on the spot, their first reaction is from their football training: avoid a direct hit. Divert! Change Course! Or the easiest: Lie and look deeply in her eyes like you mean it. (Take your cue from Jake Pavelka on this one.)
But seriously, I think they have more tape on feelings from these bachelors than I have in eighteen years' of marriage. Do guys do this? Or do they fix the toilet and call it a day? I have yet to see any guy sit down and say, "I'm feeling this way right now, but if this happens, I will be feeling like that, and if it doesn't happen, then I will feel this way."
Seriously, we must stop perpetuating this myth that guys talk like gay men about their intensely changing feelings. So doesn't happen. Oh he'll tell you, but he'll tell you the way Frank told his girlfriend. Um, I sorta liked this girl, but then, I sorta liked you and -- hey help me out here, will you ask me back so I can stop talking?
Was it me or did Roberto hesitate a little too long on the "fantasy suite" question. And Ali didn't even seem to notice. I wonder if the camera man had to schlepp through the water to get to the fantasy suite.
I thought her chemistry was better with Chris truthfully. But I got sidetracked by "The Pearl" hunt because it made me remember that Steinbeck book and how much I hated it. That was Steinbeck right? LOL Chris doesn't seem cerebral enough for Ali, but they're going to dinner now. So we'll see if he has something brilliant to say. Okay, he just said, "It's just the two of us." In a way that made me happy he could count that high.
Chris is back to his mom. How wounded is too wounded? Chris didn't hesitate on the fantasy suite, and that's my point exactly. Men may say stupid things like "it's just the two of us alone", but a room key they understand.
Note to Ali: You did NOT give up everything to be there. You're in TAHITI, SHUT UP!!! People give up everything to cross borders for their family. They give up everything to take the message of the Cross to foreign cultures. You gave up a sales job at Facebook and an overpriced apartment in San Francisco, okay? Little perspective.
Frank is back with sniveling Chris Harrison. Dang, Chris acts like a girl. He is that friend who pretended to be your friend, then ran back to the other crowd and told all your secrets. Chris is using the same lines he used with Jake, "I'm blown away...everything was so great...then..." Frank's discussing his feelings are real. He overanalyzes everything ad nauseum. He's a writer. Take note, Nicole. IT is not an easy life to live with a writer.
Now, as if Frank doesn't feel bad enough, Chris drives the proverbial stake through his heart and says, "Think about Ali." Like they didn't plan when all this would happen. That sucks! Then Chris says, "Okay, this is how it's going to go." I am sure that Frank is shaking in his boots to tell Ali. Remember what happened to poor Justin?
Is it a drinking game to drink when they say, "Amazing Connection" on this show, because if it's not, it should be. It was made for that. Not that I ever played this game -- and incidentally, I didn't. Not a drinker. But if I were, I would think this would be a drunk-inducing phrase.
Now Ali's crying because she tried to reassure Frank and now he's leaving. He was waiting for his life to happen to him basically. Be in charge of yourself, dude. Oh here she goes again with the I've given up everything. Frank doesn't know what he wants. Not a good trait in a spouse. See ya!
"I can't believe you're doing this!" With the implication TO ME. Should he pretend like Jake? It was she who had commitment problems last season with Jake. I think she'd have more grace for Kermit. He said he kept himself in the game because he didn't know. She says to Chris that he's a liar because he kept himself in the game. He's not a liar. He's just emotionally retarded and he can't make you feel bad -- you do that to yourself. Just sayin'
Chris Harrison has run back from one group of girls to the other. He is friends with everybody that Chris. So Ali says if there's another girl, just tell her. A show of hands for anyone who thinks a guy who told her was safe? Anyone? Beuler? Now she's in the anger phase. "Biggest jerk I've ever known."
I feel for her though. But falling in love IS putting your heart on the line. It IS giving someone the right to walk away from you if they don't want to stay. That's why it's scary. I think Ali wants too much from a guy. It doesn't matter who she picks, at some point, someone who loves you will hurt you. She quotes her best friend (ie., Eleanor Roosevelt, Ali, do some homework!)
Chris is a serious manipulator. Rose ceremony. Ali is dressed like Rhoda. Yada, yada, yada -- guys tell all next week. Should be a good one. What did you think?