Watching the Prince and his bride, it was so wonderful to see the exchange of eye contact between them. The obvious affection they had for one another and their hope for the future. What a contrast to the "Millionaire Matchmaker" marathon I watched the other day. Now I realize, this is comparing apples to oranges, but our "royalty" here in America (from a secular standpoint) is our millionaires.
That show really brought up the baggage that "ideas" for the ideal mate bring to a relationship. For example, there was a self-made millionaire, nearing fifty and he wanted a "girl" not over twenty-something so that they could have children, etc. Someone forgot to tell this man that he'd missed the boat for his ideal because he'd become too old for the "perfect" woman according to his childhood ideal. He would, in fact, being throwing the ball around as a sixty-year old. Naturally, they all think they'll live forever anyway. Sure, his money might allow him to marry a twenty-something, but is that really a partnership? Or is it a business deal? And is any marriage based on a business deal going to flourish when times get rough?
Another guy wanted the same things so that he could start a family. But he fell for the other millionairess, who was a gorgeous woman and a single mother and definitely over his age criteria. In his mind, she was too old, and the kid was baggage. Reality, however, was that he and this woman had a lot in common and a clear connection. He was going to have to lose the "ideal" to find success in this relationship. It's amazing to me how many of these guys can't get passed that. They think there will be some "perfect" woman who will make them unable to continue in the single life and they'll want to settle down.
But THAT is the baggage. They have been using women. They have NO practice in true one-on-one relationship and they're not ready to "settle down." Just like women believe in Prince Charming coming to rescue them, these guys believe in the mythical goddess. If they think someone who meets their criteria is going to make them happy or that life isn't going to zap them with something they couldn't have called, they're in for a rude awakening. It's like they're looking for breeding stock, not a life partner.
Perfect body, check.
Never married, check.
No kids, check.
But then, they usually find that Miss Perfect is TOO perfect for their aging selves and she dumps him. This is the first time, Mr. Wealthy has been told no and we get the equivalent of him throwing a toddler tantrum. Because you can't ever truly control another person. At least, not after she's 40. LOL
And these guys never think about what THEY bring to the table. They're just entitled to the perfect wife. And I'd say they bring a LOT of baggage. A guy who is nearing fifty who has never had a long-term relationship has WAY more baggage than a young, single mother who has learned to put herself second for her child. This supposed prince hasn't ever sacrificed ANYTHING for another human being, but he sees himself as the prize worthy of the biggest trophy.
Trying to control a relationship like that, and make sure they're not going to come up against any obstacles doesn't work. You can plan and plot all you like, but then sickness can happen, poverty can happen...you better be able to walk alongside the person when life goes wrong. To look into their eyes and see the best in them always. Love doesn't work like a business deal. It would be nice if it did, but if Princess Diana taught us anything, it should be when you're looking at Prince Charming, make sure you're seeing the real deal and not your active imagination.