Storage Wars: No Apologies

I just discovered this A&E show. It's one of those shows that has the stupidest premises ever. In fact, I can't imagine how this was pitched and accepted. Seriously. It's these dumpster divers who compete for crap in a storage locker up for bid. At one of those "U-Store-It" kind of places. Then, they rifle through the garbage hoping to come up with a treasure or trinket that makes their bid worth their while.

Stupidest concept ever, right? But the characters who do this are so engaging, you get sucked in really fast. In fact, my son Trey said, "How can you watch this crap, Mom?' But then, Dave Hester drives up in his massive truck/trailer with YUUUUP! on the side of it and they play the music from Star Wars when Darth Vadar appears, so Trey sticks around.

I explain the characters and their personalities, but the truth is, this show is hysterical. Because these guys know how to work a deal. How to make something out of nothing and trash talk each other while they're doing it. Sheer joy for me.

My son is now hooked too. I'm telling you, it's addictive. But I still have NO desire to dumpster-dive or pick through someone else's storage locker. Ewwww. My favorite is "The Collector" Barry Weiss -- he's a character and could sell an eskimo an ice cube.

BTW, the new windows are all in my house, and it is so quiet here, it's like I live in a new place. How great is that? I can watch "Storage Wars" in peace.

The Dirtiest Vehicles in America: I want one!

So Forbes has come out with the Dirtiest cars in America. Most of them are foreign mini-vans, trucks and Mercedes. I'm surprised my baby, the Mustang isn't on the list. The Dodge Challenger is, and I saw one of these new Challengers on Sunday. They are REALLY nice looking! The one I saw was white. And it's a mixture of mature and still living in the glory days.

But back to dirty vehicles. Which leave the biggest carbon imprint. Full disclosure: I drive a SUV. (I have four kids.) Actually, not driving anything currently, and found the a GREAT hairstylist within walking distance. Honestly, one of the best cuts of my life. I digress.

So back to this footprint, you're not driving a Prius, you suck, issue. Have you ever driven a car with power? I mean a V8 that can rock your world and leave people in the dust? If you have any power trip issues in your life, a full V8 can take care of that. And Americans have loved their power vehicles. Cars are more than getting from point A to point B for us. We're not content to be in Mr. Bean's creeper when we can have a Mustang.

I don't know why that is, other than once you've tasted power? It's hard to give it up. Ask any dictator. So the moral of this story is, if we all started out in Smart Cars, we'd be happy with them. But some of us have driven Mustangs for part of our lives. Or SUVs with a V8 and I'll admit, it's not green. It's not great for the environment. But I heard that if you didn't use wrapping paper this year, you could wallpaper the world or some stupid statistic. So I'll wallpaper the world and wrap in newspaper. In a cool car, thank you very much.

http://autos.yahoo.com/news/america-s-dirtiest-vehicles.html

My Hatred of the Post Office Creates Enablers...

A visit to the post office here is painful. For one thing, I have to wait in the inevitable line. For another, I can't eavesdrop on gossip because no one is speaking English. So what does that mean to me? Complete waste of my time.

So I avoid the post office. With great skill, it seems because this is a package I received from Colleen Coble today with all the bookplates for Smitten that the rest of the girls signed. It's my turn to sign them. No one trusts me to mail them out, so I need to mail them back.

To do that, Colleen stamped the thing like it was going to Timbuktu because she knows, Smitten 4 would be out before I got to the post office. So here's to friends who enable my bad behavior. I pick my friends well.

My heroine's wedding dress...was that the problem?

This is my heroine's wedding dress in the opening scene where she is left at the altar.

I would never wear a gown like this. Though I think it's absolutely incredible. It's also $7,200 and that would buy a lot of vacations, so you can have the dress. Anyway, I think that might have been my problem all along with this heroine. There's not enough of me in her, and getting to know her was difficult.

Her gown is modern. I prefer classic and while this has elements of the classic in it, it's definitely uptown mansion to my suburban cottage. Finding the warmth in this character meant finding that spot where her life wasn't perfect. Where she's got a hole in her heart.

I found it. She's multi-dimensional now. But who would have thought a visual of a wedding gown would throw me off so easily? Talk about literal! This is why being a writer is about being slightly off. Normal people don't let their imaginations take over like that. Mental health. It's overrated.

Nora Roberts deserves her success:

I love this article on bestselling author Nora Roberts. She is so down-to-earth, authentic and loyal. I believe that's what comes through in her books. It feels fantastic when good people succeed. Why is that? Who cares, it makes me happy. It's just.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/nov/20/nora-roberts-interview-romance-fiction

#RHOBH -- It seems wrong to fold laundry to this show...

Do they have valets for that? Do they know what laundry is? Or do they just have dry-cleaning? Either way, as I folded eighteen bajillion loads, and Adrienne reminded me that all you have to do to make it is "work hard" -- I thought I'm doing something wrong. Well, work hard and be born into a wealthy family maybe. But I love Adrienne, she's my favorite housewife.

But Adrienne also reminded me she's a Virgo, and thus a perfectionist. So THAT is my problem. I can't let the kids do the laundry because they won't do it right. See, how educational this show is? It's like therapy!

Oh my favorite Matt Nathanson song is on right now. What was I talking about? As my son Seth would say, "Mom, you are so ADD. Finish your thought!"

Back to the housewives. I'm not a fan of Lisa and I think I figured out why. Because people of privilege should ACT better than she acts. She really doesn't have the elegant persona she thinks she does. Fashionable people don't need to make fun of others. They are comfortable with themselves, so they don't need to put down others. She seems to do this, and talk about others whenever she gets the chance.

Which I'll admit makes for good TV, but I wouldn't want her as my friend. Who is the real Lisa? Though I would LOVE to have Kevin Lee as my friend. Oh my gosh, that guy is hysterical! He would entertain me. NO question. And for as tacky as I thought those invitations were in pink? I thought they were gorgeous in white. I still wouldn't know what to do with it after I received it, but very pretty. Maybe I would give my Valentine chocolate in them next year. Just an idea.

Brandi is trailer park. I love her. Camille's dress at the fashion show? With that Chanel bag? Dang, she was perfection! Kelsey's a tool. (Don't I say that weekly?)

Taylor. What can one say about Taylor? The girl is unstable, and that's not entertaining to me. Unless it's on "Hoarders" or "Celebrity Rehab" -- watching her and Russell go to marital counseling was highly uncomfortable. Made me sad how he had to rush off to a meeting, and how in my mind, he just was doing more manipulation to make Taylor believe he loved her. Sad.

I liked Adrienne's shoes, but I heard on "Watch What Happens Live" that those beautiful silver ones were $1,500. Louboutins are $700, what's up with that price point? Just sayin' Ah, most of the shoes are around $200. http://adriennemaloof.com/store/

I thought she'd be doing an affordable line for those of us who'd like to be like her, but don't have a hope in heaven. Girls who would go see her basketball team (okay, admittedly, I would not do that) but we need proper stilettos to wear to the game. I guess it's back to DSW for us poor slobs.

Kyle and Kim were blissfully absent from most of the show.

Bogan Baby!

Got driven to Starbucks. Wore my Uggs. That's right. Out. Want to make something of it?

I have to admit, I'm very excited to have gotten a tweet saying that Anderson Cooper would be working at "Boston Market" this afternoon on his show. I just know that is going to be hysterical. Anderson has food issues and eats the same thing everyday. Boston Market has been his current thing. I know this will bring me pleasure.

Watching Anderson's house on the haunted house tour of NYC and people milling below his house looking for ghosts? That was entertainment. Anderson is so much like me. He gets pleasure out of the little things in life. It doesn't take much to make him happy.

And he can laugh at himself. I can appreciate that. Sometimes, it's all you can do!

Return of the Jedi...REALLY?

My kids are watching Return of the Jedi. How many times can they watch those movies? I asked Trey that and he said, "I don't know Mom, how many times can you stand Mr. Darcy?"

But I've never seen a movie from the series full. Except for The Empire Strikes Back. Okay, this Jaba the Hut scene is BEYOND stupid, and so cheesy!!! And yet, they watch it like Mr. Darcy is going to come off of the screen. Bahaha. I do not get it. I will never get it. I need some Austen.

I'm debating rewriting my book in first-person. I just don't have a sparkly voice in third. Waiting to hear from my editor on that one. In the meantime, there are Muppets dancing wildly in front of Jaba the Hut, so I must go...

Cyber Monday Fame

My girlfriends emailed from our traditional coffee shop -- where we have been interviewed for the last few years on "Cyber Monday" -- she just said that the news is there again. And I'm totally missing my fifteen minutes (okay seconds) this year because I'm stuck at home with contractors pounding, and a freezing house (they're taking the windows out.)

So I wanted you all to know. I was prepared this year...

Really, I just had to walk next door for a cup of sugar. LOL

Pippa's Smiling Again

I broke my own rule. Sad news on my blog today, but in my defense, I STILL haven't had coffee yet, so I don't know how cheery I'm supposed to be. Anyhoo, I see that Pippa is seeing someone else, and that makes me happy. Because Pippa deserves love too.

Although, I am not a fan of the scarf-wearing type. If he makes Pippa smile for now, that's good enough for me. For now. But he's not the marrying sort. LOL (Did you get the irony here? Or is it hypocrisy?)

I love how the Daily Mail is taking bets on who her next boyfriend will be. Apparently, they're betting on an old love. I'd say Pippa needs to look to the future.