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November 2011
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January 2012

Katy Perry & Russell Brand are over...

And though it comes as a surprise to no one, it's still sad. All that passion can quickly turn, can it not?

I feel for stars because their lives are so fantastical, how does one "settle down" after getting married in India in a psuedo-Hindi/Christian ceremony, traveling all over the world for fun and purchasing a million-dollar home?

Seriously, what's left? If you thrive on adrenaline, that is going to be a hard road to hoe. No pun intended. When you get used to fabulous highs, how does one deal with the mundane?

Not that this is an issue for me, but it's nice to think about. I liked the idea of Russell being redeemed by a loving Katy and her family, but yeah, that was probably wishful thinking. He sounds like a very selfish man who didn't want to be second fiddle, but as a bad comic with little acting talent to a woman who made $20 million just during their marriage, I'd say you shouldn't compete with someone at the top of their game anyway. Well, competing in marriage is never going to be good anyway, is it?


Anyway, I'm sad they're over. For her, because she learned love isn't enough. And for him, because I don't think he gets that marriage involves a bit of effort. Maybe I have it totally backwards, either way, their lives were not conducive to marriage, which requires sacrifice. MUTUAL sacrifice.

Shopping for Gargoyles

I have a thing for gargoyles. They're big in Thomas Hardy novels, and I just think they're cool, having been on great cathedrals and all.


Today, I drove my friend Stephon home, and he lives by this outdoor sculpture place, so we stopped and shopped. The gargoyles were kind of Chinese in nature and not all that endearing, so I said no to that. I needed some ahem, bigger jeans -- Stephon, God bless him, when he saw me, he goes, "What's with the junk in the trunk?"

He thought it was meds. I explained, "No I've just been eating."

He answered, "Good, I always thought you could use a biscuit or two."

Anyhoo, Stephon, Elle and me went shopping for gargoyles and fat jeans. A new pair of Joe's booty fit -- the extended version. LOL It was a good day, but having come home without gargoyles to both People and Us shouting DIET at me, I only bought one pair of fat jeans. They're temporary! And if you know where I can pick up some cute gargoyles for the yard, let me in on the secret.

Oh, and we saw "We Bought a Zoo" -- definitely WORTH seeing. Great flick!

My Favorite Kind of Movie...StoryMastery

There are several different kinds of romantic comedies, according to screenwriting expert, Michael Hague. I've taken his classes before and purchased his DVDs. He is excellent at teaching plot and I'm not a great learner via writing books. Hague makes me get it. He does that with screenplays as well, though I have no desire.

However, I noticed on my last read-thru of his article on "The Six Categories of Romantic Comedies" that my favorite type of movie/romance structure is the hardest to sell. Why do I make life so difficult on myself? Read the entire article here:

Take a look at the last one. Hague calls this "The Long Haul" and it is romance based in reality. He includes three of my favorite movies in that category: "As Good as it Gets"; "When Harry Met Sally" and "500 Days of Summer." It's about weathering the storms of life together. You're in it for the long haul. My favorite book is "Far from the Madding Crowd" and it's exactly this. Bathsheba Everdene makes Scarlett O'Hara look low-maintenance and yet Grabriel Oak waits...and he waits...he waits until she's ready. I love that kind of story because it's unconditional love played out in reality.

Have you ever known someone and you meet them, and it's like they're a soul mate? Notice I didn't say THE soul mate. I said "A" because friends are like this too. I had a friend from sixth grade on and we dated on and off during high school, but we also went through the ups and downs with each other and our "other" crushes. One time, after an ugly breakup, he went with me to throw this guy's stuff all over the lawn. To this day, that night makes me laugh to myself.

Well, I went to drop off a set of books for a friend last week, and guess where she lived? That's right, that apartment!

That brought up all sorts of warm-fuzzies for me. Some friendships can't be explained. I NEVER talk to this guy, but I'd have his back and I know he'd have mine. Life is a journey and that's the kind of book/movie I enjoy. Not everything is perfectly-scripted and that's what makes it fun!

I'm going to plow into a book that's huge and I've been putting it off for a long time. It's called "Story" by Robert McKee. He's also a master scriptwriter. This year, I'm going to try and plot, rather than edit myself out of a mess I start from the seat of my pants. So do you have friends that were instant and you just knew?


Cheap Runs Deep #Extreme Cheapskates

Did anyone watch Extreme Cheapskates on TLC? I still can't get the images out of my head, and I didn't make it through half the show. There are limits to being cheap and I seriously have to wonder not only what's wrong with these cheap people that they don't think they're worthy of say, TOILET PAPER, but what is wrong with the people married to them, that they put up with it?

The image I cannot get out of my head is this guy rummaging through sofas and under pay phones for change, where he raised $7.50 to buy meat for dinner. Go with me here. You've got $7.50 what kind of meat do you buy?

If you're NORMAL, you buy ground beef and you can mix it with noodles or in sauce for a few days time. That's what you buy if you're normal. If you're THIS guy, you buy two goat heads complete with teeth and eyeballs and shove them in the oven and call it dinner. I literally cannot get the image out of my head. It's going to give me nightmares. And the guy's wife didn't eat it, so he had TWO full heads. And she laughs like it's cute. Um, in the mental ward, it's cute.

He could have also bought a steak and split it with his wife. He could have bought pork chops. He could have even had a pound and a half of Dungeness crab, but this guy buys GOAT heads, which look like prehistoric lizards smiling at you. That's where I turned it off. That was the most disturbing show. People, you are WORTH it. Buy yourself a decent meal. Eat, drink and be merry. No one can be merry eating a goat head. Well, he obviously can, but he's going to be eating alone. This kind of cheapness is a disease and I fail to see the quality of life anywhere near these people. Value yourself. Just a little bit.

Okay, and there was a mother who had her kids use CLOTH toilet paper to save money. Really? You think you're saving on toilet paper what you're not putting into laundry detergent and bleach? And what happens if you take your kids to friends' houses and they use the hand towel on their hiney? Explain that one.

This show was more unappetizing that Hoarders, and that's saying something!! Never again!

Here I am HIKING FOR FREE with all my kids. Oh, not really. It cost me pizza, but still...worth it. And I didn't make them forage for their dinner either. If your kids HAVE to do that, that is one thing, but if they don't, I don't think this teaches them anything but a scarcity mentality and look around you, the world is abundant!!


Perfect Characters = No Plot

I was reading Twitter tonight and a pastor I truly respect wrote not to take the kids to see "The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" As I said I respect this pastor, his work, his walk, but I take issue with the fact that characters have to be perfect. Perfect characters make for boring stories. Ask God. David wasn't exactly a saint. And Paul was kind of a jerk. The purpose of a story is to show character growth. Yes, even in Chipmunks. God doesn't give us perfect characters in the Bible that we can't identify with. Name your sin. It's in there!

Back to the Chipmunks. We know who Alvin is. I've known who that character was since I was a child. Do I want Alvin to be perfect? No, I want him to get into as much trouble as possible so Dave can show him how much he unconditionally loves the furball.


There was a great character arc in this Chipmunk movie. Alvin had to man-up. Yes, at first he gets into a lot of trouble, which the pastor calls lying, stealing, boozing and something else, I can't remember. But it's on a cruise ship. Reality is there is a lot of drinking that goes on with cruising. I contend that you can't teach your children about the world by sheltering them from it. The moral of Alvin's story is that he learns WHY it's not good to lie, cheat and steal. He puts everyone in jeopardy with his stupid actions. To me, that's a GOOD lesson. If Alvin was perfect, there would be no story.

Anyhoo, I did take the kids. And like me, they noticed none of these awful things. They enjoyed the story and the characters -- as they always do. As I always have -- since childhood.

Kids and humans can't learn from perfection. It's why God didn't just give us HIS story, He gave us the story of His flawed people. This is a hot button issue for me because it is so hard to tell a story with some of the parameters that Christians set-up for Christian writers. I would remind those Christians of this. You're not getting to heaven on your own. You're not perfect. David certainly wasn't, and yet he was a man after God's own heart.

I can only hope to hear that I'm a woman after God's own heart, but it won't be my perfection that lets me hear it. It will be because my heart was pure and honest in its seeking after God's will. He made Christians strong enough to withstand some terrible things in history. Your kids can handle a Chipmunks movie. Trust me on this one.

If not, there's this thing called parenting and you can have a conversation. They can handle that too.

God's Artistry

I took this pic on my Blackberry from INSIDE a restaurant, and yet still, the colors are so gorgeous and the surroundings so beautiful. There is nothing like God's artistry. I know many of you may have had hard times with family over Christmas. Not everyone has a Dickens' Christmas experience. If that's the case for you, look for what's beautiful around you and take the focus off what's wrong. The restaurant I was in was pretty dumpy. A few old chairs and haphazard tables. If I chose to focus on ambiance, might I have missed this?


Vacation Treat! #RHOBH Dinner (Producer's Cut)

Since I've only been watching the Beverly Hills' housewives for one season, I have to say seeing the "Dinner Party from He##" episode from last year was pure candy-coated fun. Camille, who I now get to see in all her nasty glory, invited this crazy psychic. Oh my gosh, I totally want her to come to one of my parties just for pure entertainment value.

Every time she said, "Know THAT!" like she was the voice of God, while all the while Camille's husband Kelsey is playing around on her and the psychic doesn't seem to get that. But she knows Kyle's future and that her husband will never emotionally fulfill her. Bahaha Please. Have you SEEN her husband? We were ALL emotionally fulfilled watching him dance at the White party.


I will say that if you have to bring "back-up" to a dinner party (aka Faye Resnick) it's probably best to just send your apologies and stay home. Kim was definitely less crazy last season and I fell in love with Jiggy knowing the breeder wanted him put down.

I love how Adrienne just sat there next to the crazy psychic and tried to avoid getting involved in the drama. And I could finally appreciate Lisa's snarkiness when Allison Dubois (the psychic) went on about her show and Lisa whispered, "It's been canceled."

I'm going to give chain-vaporing Alison the benefit of the doubt and say the girl had to be drunk. Maybe one's psychic abilities are clouded by say, a gallon of fruit-flavored alcohol. Apparently, she blamed it all on editing, but I thought what she did AFTER the party was worse. The way she revved Camille up to believe she was such a victim.

Listen, when you've posed for Playboy, don't belittle your guest because she...wait for it...posed for Playboy. To most of us in the real world, there is no departure from one being tastefully done and the other not. It's not tasteful. It's tacky. And no, the rest of us are not jealous because we aren't asked. (Doesn't that always seem to be their next line of attack?)

Anyway, the dinner party was GOOD television! Now for the deleted scenes episode. I have to sneak off so my father doesn't tell me how morally-bankrupt I am for watching it. LOL

New Year's Resolutions in 2012?

Well, I wonder if people will change their resolutions up since, according to the Mayan calendar, this is the last one.

I don't personally buy into that belief system, even after seeing Armageddon week on the history channel, but if you knew it was the last year, would you live life differently? Would your resolutions go beyond the obvious:

1. Lose Weight
2. Get Fit
3. Spend more time with family & friends
4. Enjoy life more
5. Pay off debt (hey, if it's the last year, I'd run it up but that's another story.)
6. Get organized

If I had a resolution I could stick to? It would be to live life fearlessly. Live out loud! I'm definitely going to do something more bold this year. Speaking of which, I took this pic of my sons and doesn't it look like the Ghost Adventures' Crew?

Totally by accident too.