Previous month:
March 2014
Next month:
May 2014

Grocery List of Champions...or not

So our new grocery store doesn't open until Sunday -- at least that's what my daughter said, so we went to the old one. Which is opened, but it doesn't have any food on the shelves. I'm making Chicken Enchiladas tonight. Well, I was.

When I got in there, my addled brain (which has been to the grocery store four times this week and cooked for two different families) got overwhelmed. And I came out with...wait for it...

Celery, tortillas and milk.


Do you know why I bought the celery? Because while in there, I thought a Bloody Mary (without the alcohol) sounded good, so you need celery for that. The milk we just needed, and the tortillas are my pale attempt at getting the chicken enchilada ingredients. I think my brain is officially shot. I need a vacation.

"You Can't Sit with Us!" Mean Girls 10-year Anniversary


Did you wear pink today? It's Wednesday. And of course, the anniversary of Mean Girls. For some reason, this movie endures in the annals of film history and you can still buy T-shirts that read, "You can't sit with us." And "On Wednesdays, we wear pink." And finally, "Regina George ruined my life."

Thank you Tina Fey, for giving us all nightmare memories of high school to last a lifetime.


Writer Pep Talks...

I've been laboring over a plot point that was an issue in the fourth Ashley book. At the same time, I'm wondering, "Is there an actual plot? Maybe I should just forget this altogether."

So last night, while driving home, my friend/editor is on the phone with me saying, "Just finish the stupid book and send it, will you?"

"I think I should just give it up. It's not working. I need to drop it. I'm not a writer anymore. Do you think I could get a job at --"

"You need to send me the book."

"No, it sucks. Really. I've just got too much caretaking going on, and I can't take care of the book. Do you think I would make a good nurse?"

"Would you shut up? The book is great. Send the book."

"It's not ready. I think I figured out a major plot struggle, but do you think XYZ is enough to carry the --"

"It's enough. Just send the book. It's funny. It's working. You're looking for excuses."

"What about hospice? Can you do hospice if you're not a nurse? Because I'm good at that."

This conversation went on for a LONG time. And the worst part is, it is not the first time I've had this conversation. About this book! I want to be one of those writers who writes a book, thinks they're Hemmingway and gets on with life. Wouldn't that be great?

I've met a few of them. No struggles with these nagging thoughts. They write a book, put it out, everything is hunky-dory.

My friend told me after reading "In Her Shoes" -- which is a brilliant book, by the way. But she read the reviews and they are SOO awful. Just so cruel to the author -- and most of the readers who feel that way don't get that the book actually has a fantastic character arc -- and a lot of deep family drama that isn't typical of the genre. But these readers didn't see that.

These readers just attacked the author, and truth be told, after dealing with family drama, cancer in the family and general dysfunction, I'm not up to hearing it. Not that I read my reviews, but I totally get why I'm laboring over the book and not releasing it. Life is hard. Why write a book and have people tell you publicly that you suck or that you need Jesus?

Hey, you know what? Maybe you need Jesus if you gotta write a jerky review to feel better about yourself? Just sayin.

So I need these pep talks to get me to the next level. I'm so glad to have a friend who gets it and kicks me in the bum. And that is my writer rant for the day. A friend. Get one. FYI, it needs to be another author. No one else gets the angst.

What a Girl Needs? To finish this book!


American Grocery Stores!

If you have one near you, kiss the floor before you walk in because I am so tired of traveling to get to a Safeway. (We're supposed to get a new one May 2!) Where I'm staying actually has competition between stores. There are Raley's AND Safeway and I feel like I'd be a much better housewife if it wasn't so difficult to get to a grocery store. And if I had a setup like this:


I mean, what's your hurry, right? You've got all day.
Right now, I can walk to two Japanese grocery stores, one Chinese grocery store, a Russian market and an Indian market. All well and good if I'm going to cook ethnic that night. Or, if I want to watch my fish slaughtered right in front of me so that I know it's fresh.

I don't actually need that, but I am delighted by the American notion of putting a coffee shop at the entrance to take the sting out of grocery shopping.

Basketball Scandal: More Cents than Sense

I have to say, this basketball mess makes no sense to me. You have a despicable human being (Donald Sterling, owner of the LA Clippers for those of you on another planet.) He sometimes go to his basketball games with his wife:


Sometimes, he goes with his girlfriend:


His wife is suing the girlfriend for the lavish gifts Sterling gave V. Stiviano, saying they needed to be returned. Mrs. Sterling should have sued for divorce because this is a woman who will sleep with an ancient, despicable near-corpse for cash. You want her to do the right thing?

Well, you might want have understood how your husband has her record their conversations -- and that TMZ is a thing. A thing that's going to wreck your entire, money-insulated life. Whoops.

I don't feel sorry for any of these people. I find the wife as abhorrent as the mistress. They have no shame. They're out to dinner last night as if nothing has happened. If there was ever a night to order in a pizza, last night was it. Have some shame. Seriously!

And I really don't understand why it's okay for Sterling to sleep with a black woman, but she can't pose with black men on her Instagram. She can, apparently, sleep with them, but just don't make it so obvious with the Instagram. Okay, is anyone else confused by these odd laws of racism?

No matter what happens to Sterling, his wife or V, they are still stuck with themselves -- and none of them seem to have a problem with that. Something tells me this is like announcing to them, that they're going to have lamb on Tuesday.

Sorry, I've been quiet. Traveling.

Real Housewives of Australia?

I saw an article on the Real Housewives of Australia, which we don't get here. But I have to ask you Aussies, is it still 1980 Down Under?


Now, I'm all for Jersey sparkles and big hair. I'm not putting you Aussies down. I'm thinking I should move down under toward my decade.

Would you eat at the upscale Taco Bell?

Taco Bell is going to cater to "foodies" -- which kind of cracks me up because are foodies interested in a tequila-infused milkshake? Somehow, I doubt it. I'm interested in it, but I'm not a foodie. Or classy, really.



The first one is opening in Huntington Beach, CA -- which is only famous to me because it's the beach I stare at on the live feed while I wait for Elle in "Hollister."

Mexican food is my absolute favorite, and I'm not sure I'd go to an upscale Taco Bell versus a real hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint. Do you know how great the Mexican food is in Southern California? I'm not sure I could pick Upscale Taco Bell over the real thing -- wonder why they didn't try this in say, Ohio.

I do love the combo of fast food restaurants being more upscale. Love that you can get an agave margarita at Chipotle's -- wonder if that's who they're competing with?

Anyway, we were invited to stay with friends this summer for a Disney trip -- so who knows? On a sidenote, have you tried the Limeade Sparkler at Taco Bell? Admission: I get one on the way to Fry's Electronics when I go with my boys. They hate Taco Bell. Who raised them?

Limeade Sparklers

Anyway, I'm not big on alcohol, and these are fantastic and margarita-like. So I'd probably forgo the tequila shake anyway. Which fast food restaurant would you like to see go upscale?

Our McDonald's is pretty fancy now, with a cafe and free wi-fi. Although, the "no-loitering past 30 minutes without food" sign takes away from the ambiance.

I'm Rocking the 80's Big Hair Today!

And no, I'm not showing you a picture because I don't want you raining on my sunshiney, happy day parade. No one need pull me into that dark place that is reality. I have children for that!

My godson is coming today! And I'm seeing my niece tomorrow. We call Elle her mini-me. Aren't they cute together? K. Going to get my daughter and hopefully, I can mat down my hair to get through the door.