The group date is...at a lake. And let me tell you, it's like watching paint dry. Only there are half-naked chicks in your way. My daughter says I should not use this word cuz I'm too old, but this is a ratchet Bachelor. With the sheer amount of commercials, I wonder why the budget is so pathetic. Tractor races in LA...farm games at the park...and now a picnic at a lake. If I was dating him, I'd be like, DUDE, can't you afford a restaurant? Enough with the cheap dates already! I mean, if it was one-on-one, where they could talk, fine. But with a bevy of other lovelies? Spend some money!
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Chris' three sisters are there to pick the next one-on-one. Britt is confident she's the front-runner. Jade gets selected. She's going to the Ball -- read: We're getting a commercial for the new "Cinderella" movie. Again, Bachelor is not paying for a date.
The rest of the poor group date, is STILL on this dang lake and now they're camping. Nothing makes me feel sexier than spending all day sweating at the lake. Yuck. Kelsey is totally me. Everyone is calling her fake because she's complaining about camping. Yeah, because she's tiny and girly and she doesn't want to sleep in filth. She want a bath! I hear you, Kelsey. You go girl! Let them call you fake.
Mackensie is there talking about aliens. Maybe they'll beam her up and improve the odds. Meanwhile, Ashley S is back to her crazy talk, and really needs medication in my opinion. At the same time, camping can do that to the best of people. She tells him that she loves him. As I'm sure she loves pink unicorns and Willy Wonka.
Katelyn gets the rose on the first date, but sadly, she's so drunk she can't fully appreciate it. Because she's CAMPING!!!
Ashley I. sneaks into Chris' tent, to let him know that she's a virgin and never had a boyfriend. He's half-asleep. Dating tip: Guys love it when you wake them up with pertinent information! LOL
The battle of the virgins is just weird. Producer fail! As is the black box following Jillian's behind.
Virgin #1 (Ashley I) is not happy about not being Cinderella and we're going to hear about it. As I'm sure everyone else will when she's lamenting how she didn't end up with Chris. All because of the Cinderella date GONE WRONG!
A fairy godmother with pink hair shows up with an Ipad to show our Cinderella, Jade, a clip of the new movie. All the gowns are gorgeous and there are sparkly Valentino shoes, but she picks some ghastly gown. She does get to keep the Neil Lane Earrings and Louboutin lucite shoes though, so all-in-all probably better than a life in Iowa with Chris.
But the dress! I mean, seriously!
Back at the house, Ashley I gets into a prettier, sparklier dress and shows what she would have worn had she been on the RIGHT date. Instead, she's eating corn on the cob in her Cinderella gown.
Jade, on the REAL Cinderella date, gets her rose and a symphony. While clips of Cinderella play on the screen. It's awkward and these two have no chemistry that I can see.
Group date: In six wedding dresses. They get on a plane and land locally (Bay Area) and they're going to MuckFest MS. I almost did this this year, so I'm bummed now that I didn't. Yes, get in your wedding dresses and raise awareness for the 2.3 million who fight MS daily!!! (Waving!)
This is the kind of cheap date, I am all for! Winner gets a date in San Francisco with Chris. Jillian is hardcore -- and by the way, though I'm glad they're raising money for MS, this is also incredibly boring to watch.
For the San Francisco date, they're at the top of the Fairmont, and there is just no more incredible view. I just love the Fairmont. So many great moments there! Tony Bennet once said hi to me in the lobby. How cool is that? It's cooler than this crappy date, trust me.
Jillian is a hardcore trainer girl and I feel like she has more testosterone than Chris. She is VERY aggressive in her conversation. Chris says her words come out faster than he can process. I can believe that. Jillian talks like a guy, she asks a crude, "would you rather" question and Chris doesn't answer. He just points out the rose and lets her know she's not getting it. Jillian is not used to losing and so it doesn't go well. You can't muscle your way through love. Find a juicehead like you, Jillian, you'll be fine!
I'm SOOO glad I read a book instead of watched this last night. What a snorefest.
I forward through all the cocktail party drama. Going home? No clue. I don't know these girls.