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Different Tastes: Bridesmaid Edition

I have an upcoming wedding and I was just looking at the Pinterest Page that we created to find a bridesmaid dress, and I have to laugh. My friend, we'll call her Jane, grew up in Manhattan. She wears things tighter than I would. I call it trampy (she doesn't ever look trampy, but because I can say this, she is my friend.) She says I dress like Snow White and my dress will invite all the elves. Her other bridesmaid -- I don't know, I'd call it Amish. But it's definitely more conservative than either Jane or me.

Here's one of Jane's picks.


Seriously? I asked her. Is the hooker ball coming to town? She laughed and told me I needed to stop living like a nun.

This was her friend's pick:


My grandma called. She wants her dress back.

This was one of my picks:


"Are you Taylor Swift?"

I'm not a fan of what "we" picked, but I see why we picked it. A compromise between this group was going to be a joke. The color is, what I like to call, "dirty band-aid with bling." It's tighter than I'd like. Shorter than I'd like. But I do not feel like I look like I'm opening up for business either. The good news is, I picked the shoes before she emailed me and said, "We have to pick our shoes!"

Oh no. I am not compromising on shoes. I'm already wearing a BEIGE dress. BEIGE! I get to pick the shoes. She agreed. I know, I'm a terrible bridesmaid. But I will have cute shoes, and the bride will look amazing and that's all that matters.


This is why you should be a bridesmaid in your 20's and 30's, you're not so set in your ways.


I'm having trouble with Typepad again, so if you have anything interesting to say, say it. Because it's not letting me store and upload pictures. Grrr.

On a happy note, Starbucks is getting a new remodel way of using less square footage so they can put in more stores. I don't know why this makes me delighted, since I'm in between about six of them as it is, but I just want the world to know the greatness that is a S'mores Frappaccino. (I haven't had one myself, but people sure are raving about them.)

Personally, I think the small Starbucks stores are perhaps the greatest invention because they make grocery shopping manageable. I hate nothing more than grocery shopping (I'd rather scrub the floor with a toothbrush!) so this provides the incentive I need to get there. When you have teenagers, all you do is go to the grocery store. There has to be some kind of reward to make that happen.

Or we go out. Like we did last night.

There's a New Poltergeist. Did we need this? Really?

Poltergeist was the first really scary movie I saw (except for TV movie of the week that my Nana showed me, which scarred me for life. But I digress.) I watched it again, now that I'm adult and don't scare so easily. And the visuals are cheesy and crude, so it's not as scary as I remember it. But that scene where the skeletons are coming up in the pool? Still disturbing. Where the kid turns around and says, 'They're hee-re!' Still frightening.

They've "fixed" the bad graphics in the new one. And they reworked the dang clown. Who doesn't hate clowns? Clowns are just wrong in a children's bedroom. Can we agree on that? That you are 80% more likely to be haunted if you have a blasted clown in your room? Even Zak Bagans, who hunts ghosts/demons for a living, is afraid of clowns. (Because he's smart!)

I can't remember what my son and I went to see when they showed this trailer. I only know we both jumped about a mile. And then challenged each other, "I'll see it if you see it." But having challenged each other, we both know we don't have to go now. LOL

I'm not a big scary movie fan, but I did love "The Conjuring" -- only because I knew the story beforehand and they show how you don't want to play in that realm. But they say, fear is the closest feeling to happiness and I suppose that's why it's good fun to be scared. But not in this way. Not for me anyway. I don't even want to post the ad, which is both horrifying and creepy.

If you're not watching #SouthernCharm on @BravoTV, you should be!

I read on Twitter that my favorite, "Southern Charm" is in danger of being cancel. How can I protest this terrible decision? It's almost as bad as Thomas Ravenel running for the state Senate!

Personally, I'm not a big fan of the older folks on the show. And I say this as an "older folk" but I do love watching Landon, Shep, Cameron and my favorite, Kathryn. I love Kathryn because she reminds me so much of Bathsheba Everdene from "Far from the Madding Crowd." She's smart, but young and misguided. She has proven to be a worthy mother, though her hopes for Prince Charming in Thomas Ravenel have proven ill-fated.

Luckily, like Bathsheba, she is young enough for a do-over.


Even though Thomas is a cad who seems to think he's living in an episode of "Mad Men" by his expectations of women, I don't dislike him. Oh, I think he's horrible husband material, but he interests me. Whitney, who I think produces the show, or came up with it, not so much. I couldn't care less what he's up to, and I'm sorry, but I forward through most of it. I find it strange a man of his age would want to hang out at a beach house with the likes of Shep. And I love Shep. He ironed his shirt to go meet his Mom. How cute is that?

I'm not sure about the young guy who is trying to be a lawyer. I can't even remember his name. I don't really get his storyline. Or maybe I just don't really care. I know people say this isn't really like Charleston life at all, but I don't care. It's a slice of life IN Charleston and I enjoy that. It's like Calgon, it takes me away...

I really need to get to Charleston and Savannah. If you're not watching, it's on Monday nights, and what else is on but bad dancing by pseudo-celebrities?

"Far from the Madding Crowd" Opens This Weekend! #Hardy #BookNerds

My very favorite book is out in movie format this weekend. Truthfully, I don't even care if it sucks because the other versions are so bad that it can't be worse. No one seems to capture Bathsheba's vulnerability or Gabriel Oak's strength. I'm hoping this film will because I love Carey Mulligan -- she made me like Daisy Buchanan in the latest "Gatsby" and I'm not a Daisy fan. Anyway, now I must find an artsy theater that's playing it this weekend. Unfortunately, it's only opening here in San Francisco. Will have to wait as I'm not going to drive that far in case it's not great. That would be a long drive home. LOL Sigh.


Who would play you in a movie based on your life?

Someone asked me this question for an interview today. I didn't really know how to answer, but then it dawned on me. My friend calls me every time "Bridesmaids" comes on and tells me when Kristen Wiig is stuck on that moving gate, sneaking out of John Hamm's place, she sees me every time.

This kind of offended me. "You think I'm the shame walk kind of girl?"

She said no, but if I was, I would totally be stuck on that gate going back and forth. Stuff just happens to me and it's comical. My favorite scene is that one where she's trying to get the cop's attention and she keeps going back and forth in the car until she announces all sorts of crazy exclamations and then rolls to a stop by hitting his cop vehicle. I would totally do that in the right circumstances. So I pick Kristen Wiig to play me in a movie.


But I'm a writer, and we are in essence, boring, so there are no worries about anyone playing me in a movie. Unless I off myself or drink myself to death. (Are there any writer movies that end otherwise?)

Though I would love to write one that she'd star in. Maybe I should learn to write screenplays. I guess she writes her own though. Hmmm.

So who would play you in a movie and why?

True Beauty: Salma Hayek

Salma is promoting a new movie she's produced and so she's all dressed up and looking amazing, but as you read more of the story, I think you get to see her true beauty.

Here she is at the premiere:


She's been promoting her new film in Lebanon and she's been visiting the Syrian refugee camps. I love the emotion on her face here and how beautiful she looks caring for the needs of others. It should serve as a reminder not to forget the rest of the world is suffering while we worry about a caramel latte and whether the Starbucks' system is up and running yet. This picture just kind of encapsulates how God sees us versus the world.


Parenting in your sleep...

Anyone who is a parent knows that you parent in your sleep. You will immediately waken upon certain noises that should not be emanating from a child's room. I was just checking my text messages, and in my sleep last night, I apparently texted to my daughter, "Get out for u fall asleep."

Then, I remembered this a.m. that she was in the bathtub when I fell asleep and I did hear her get out of the tub. So parenting crisis averted and I didn't even realize it until this morning. I had parenting in my sleep. That's when you know you've been doing it a long time. (FYI, my daughter is 14, not a baby, so she's fine in the tub. I just worried she was going to fall asleep because *I* was asleep!)

Still, as parents we always question ourselves. And we look to other, more experienced parents to get us through, we are grateful for those who have gone before us. I remember when my son had some trouble at a Christian school, I called my friends mom (she's 89 now, and mother of five) and I told her what happened and she said, "You get him out of that school today. Not tomorrow. Today."

I did as she said and I've never regretted the decision. She was absolutely right. So, who do you look up to as your parenting mentor?

Nice Luggage -- Yay or Nay? #Kipling

I was in the mall today and saw the cutest luggage from Kipling. Isn't it darling? It's not a sign or anything that it is named "Darcey" (spelled wrong, but still, it's a sign, right?) And that little monkey that comes with all the Kipling bags. So sweet!


My luggage has seen better days, but it gets wiped out by baggage handlers when traveling. I'm not sure if it's worth it to spend good money on luggage. Right now, I have a hard-sided Heys bag. And it has held up pretty well considering the abuse it has taken. But what I don't like about it is there is no outside pocket, so if you have forgotten to stash something in your bag, you're fresh out of luck. You have to open the entire thing again and stuff it inside.


My last soft-sided bag was Jansport, and it has been all over the world and held up well. So I'm thinking maybe soft-sided again. But I'm worried if I really love it, like that Kipling bag, it would be hard to part with in baggage claim. So what say you, luggage lovers of the world? Hard-sided or soft-sided? Junky or worth investing in?


Hermes Birkin Anyone? Most Expensive Handbag

It's no secret, I love my handbags, but not this much. This Hermes Birkin bag is embellished with Rubies and set to go on sale for $210,000. I like a Birkin bag, but this one is ugly. Rich people, don't let people tell you this is a nice-looking bag because of the price. It's ugly. And dated. If a great handbag should be anything, it should be timeless.


Here's Lisa Vanderpump doing pink right with a Dolce & Gabbana.


Here's Yolanda Foster with a Birkin -- still in a wild color, but done well. Tastefully. No bling-bling and crocodile. It's too much. It reminds me of that commercial where the gals are "stupid rich."