"Vegas is a place where you do find love." No, it's not. It's a place where you find viral infections, but let's get started. The Bachelor is in Vegas -- let the drama begin!
The twins -- who share one brain -- were raised in Vegas. That was not nice. I'm snarky tonight. Sorry, girls. You're going home, that's a good thing, right?
The girls go nuts seeing their names on a light-up sign. It's so reminiscent of the puppet show edition of "Burning Love" -- A Bachelorette parody. Everyone goes nuts for a puppet show. We open in the gym with the twins on the same treadmill. They should really be on the Utah version of the Bachelor -- someone looking for two wives might be better for them.
Jojo gets the one-on-one and they get taken out by a wind gust from the helicopter. This is entertainment. They have great chemistry and keep kissing. This sends Olivia -- who is planning her wedding into full "Single White Female" mode. Especially when she finds out she's on the next group date.
Jojo uses her date to whine about all her insecurities because of her last boyfriend. What about going on a date? Don't people have fun anymore? Or do they just vomit up all their issues? I guess you are on a fast track to love. Ben shuts her up by kissing her. And she gets a rose. Score one for chemistry. Now they're on the top of a building watching Fireworks. Man, the producers have run out of creativity.
With each explosion, a little piece of Olivia's heart breaks off.
GROUP DATE: Talent Show
The twins are grateful for their mom enrolling them in Irish dance. Olivia grabs up the sparkle striptease outfit, and she's going to do "whatever it takes." The puppeteer lets them know that Vegas audiences are the new "Night at the Apollo."
The twins' Riverdance is actually really impressed. I'm swayed. Jubilee plays the cello. Is there anything that girl can't do? I have such a girl crush. I want to be her!
The grand finale is Olivia popping out of a cake in a cape, sparkly bikini and a complete lack of talent. To all this awkward would be a compliment. Then, she has a panic attack -- which she does well. Poor thing. She actually looks gorgeous while she has it. That's something!
Caila gets some alone time and turns into a "tigress." Lauren H kisses a puppet -- and it's sweet. She and Ben are cute together. Olivia needs to talk. She's mortified. Her explanation is actually worse than the "dance." He tells her she shouldn't be embarrassed and then, one of the twins "steals" him.
Then, Lauren B comes along and it feels all over again. They are so cute together and he just instantly goes toward her. She lets us know she's terrified. They actually have a real conversation and it feels the most normal. The, we go back to Olivia's neuroses.
The rose goes to...Lauren B.
ONE-ON-ONE with BECCA:
Becca receives a wedding gown and they head to the Little White Chapel -- no doubt to be married by Elvis or the like. -- oh no, he's ordained and they're going to marry other people. They marry a very sweet couple and my daughter tells me if this is her wedding, please just do her in then and there. LOL Apparently, she does not want to get married in Vegas.
Wow, they married a ton of couples. Then, they go to the NEON museum, which I'm pretty sure is haunted. I think I saw it on one of my ghost shows. LOL Oh, on a sidenote, I have a friend who moved into a haunted complex and the stories have been way fun.
Becca bores me. Can you tell? I'm wishing for a Supernatural event.
Becca gets the rose. Snore.
The twins get a "two-on-one" -- probably so Ben can put an end to this madness. They, of course, think he's going to send one of them home. I'm going out on a limb and saying, I think he sees an easy way to drop them off without airfare. Nope, he's sending Haley home -- or leaving her there, since they're at her mom's. Emily goes off in the limo and leaves her sister behind. That sucks. Finally though, we see the real them and not just the vapid act they put on.
At the cocktail party, Olivia steals him yet again for her latest version of "Canklegate." Ben has had it with her neuroses. As we all have. Go. Away!
Going home: Amber (good, she was a mean girl this season who picked on Jubilee -- girl, she's a Vet, she could take you out!) She curls up in a fetal position and comes to the conclusion that television is probably not the place for her to find romance.
Rachel -- who hasn't gotten enough screen time for us to miss.
Next week they're showing Jubilee becoming a little undone. This is not what I want to see. : (