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October 2016
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December 2016

I braved Costco in yoga pants!

Yeah, I'm not proud of it. But people were busy. They were shopping for crap their families don't need for Christmas. I needed my contact lenses, so I didn't actually have a choice. It feels so good to be home. I've been working full-time. Let's just say, there's a reason God made me a writer. When I called to tell my career-savvy girlfriends about life in the working world, they laughed. I mean, not a stone's pebble of empathy.

That's cold.

Since I've been fighting writer's block for years, I decided I'd try and do something else. Unfortunately, I found out that I'm a writer even when I'm an employee. I was working with my friend and she was showing me this new system. A system that makes you do something six times -- that you legit only need to do once.

"We need to tell them how dumb this is. If you do this and scan that, you're done. It will save money and everyone can still locate what they need."

"Kristin, they're paying you. This is how they want it done. So you do it -- the way they want it done."

"No, really. Let's just call them."

We didn't call them. We just did it six times. And that, folks, is part and parcel for why I NEED to make things better. (My other boss said it is because I'm a Virgo -- which apparently, translates to 'annoying perfectionist.') I simply work better when someone let's me IMPROVE things. As the kind of employee who does something inefficiently because the boss said that's the way it's to be done -- I'm not great. And that's another thing. The boss doesn't actually care what I think -- can you imagine? Someone doesn't want my opinion? As if that's going to stop me.

Don't get me wrong. I have liked working and I can do what I'm told. It's just that I'm seeing why twenty years of working for myself wasn't actually an accident.

On a happy note, my writers' block is gone. My contract came from Revell for the book tentatively titled "Confessions of a Hallmark Movie Addict."

And if you happen to be a Hallmark Movie Addict -- or even if you're not, check out Denise Hunter's latest on Hallmark "A December Bride."


Friends in Heaven...

I signed into Facebook today and there was my beautiful friend Diann Hunt smiling at me. Her daughter had posted a great picture of them Facetiming just before she passed a few years ago. Then, Debby Mayne a fellow author in our devotional posted this from Sandie Bricker, who we recently lost. I mean, heaven is sounding like a really cool, fun place. Honestly, things happen to me. I just have the strangest encounters with people -- and Sandie and Diann completely understood that. Because they were weird-experience magnets, too. Life is good. I'm so thankful for these ladies. What an honor that they considered me worthy to be their friend.

And no, believe it or not, I didn't pick the music. David Crowder!

Farewell Sandra Bricker -- See you on the other side...

I've been in the writing business for over twenty years, so I've seen some really good people pass into the loving arms of Jesus. But never one so shocking for me. On Saturday morning, a few weeks after brain surgery, Sandie succumbed to complications from a blood clot.


Sandra Bricker was an amazing, comically-gifted writer and an even better person. She's the one seated in this photo. She worked very diligently to lose a lot of weight recently. She had overcome ovarian cancer (which sadly, my other great friend Diann Hunt, standing in the black, lost her battle to.) Together, with Trish Perry and Debby Mayne, we wrote the devotional "Delight Yourselves in the Lord...Even on Bad Hair Days" to raise money for ovarian cancer. Sandie was all about doing good in the world and she was a woman of accomplishment. I loved her because she really lit a fire under me. Even recently, when I'd lost my will to write, she pushed me until I spoke with my agent about an idea -- that recently sold to Revell Publishers. I hold her partly responsible because she really did lift me up when I had nothing left to give.


Honestly, that's the best thing about the sisterhood of writers. Colleen Coble, Denise Hunter, Jenny B. Jones, Sibella Giorello and others are there to remind me that when you don't want to write, write anyway. Sandie was that kind of writer to SO many different women. Everyone felt like her best friend because that is who she was. I'll miss her greatly and if you haven't read her, pick up a book. I guarantee it will lift your spirits.



More Fan Fiction for Lit Nerds

Last night, I watched "Gemma Bovary" -- now I can't really recommend it as a movie. It's not great and it ends very strangely. It's lewd in places (it is French) but it's obviously a love story to, fan fiction for Madame Bovary. I ADORE that book, and the movie's protagonist, who is obsessed with it, is a creeper in the movie. It's hard to identify with him. Yet, I get him. He's obsessed with literature and wants someone to share his passion for great writing. I felt him. Well, until he went overboard -- which had to happen if you know the story of Madame Bovary.

If you don't, it doesn't end happily. Not a lot "happens" in the story, but there's so much depth to this classic by Flaubert. I enjoyed watching this movie just because someone else loved Madame Bovary as much as I did. There is no greater feeling than sharing a fanatical obsession over a book with someone who "gets it." That's what this movie felt like.


If you are interested in the story of Madame Bovary as a movie, the best version from my standpoint is this one is with Frances O'Connor -- you might remember her from "Mr. Selfridge." Her husband in the movie is from "Downton Abbey" -- and then, Greg Wise (from Sense & Sensibility) plays Rodolphe. There are a few lewd scenes in that one too. I mean, it is "Madame Bovary."


Now, that "The Crown" is over for me until next season, I'm going to watch a "must-see" show recommended by my bff. "Dr. Foster." I'll keep you posted.

I gave up on "Poldark" this season as he's turning into a bit of a rat.

Elle King -- is all the talent coming out of country music?

It seems to me like country music is offering up the most musicians today. By musicians, I mean people making music with their voices and instruments. Not freaking noises like I had to listen to all day. I worked in an office where my coworker had -- I don't even know what it was -- rap maybe? There was a lot of talk that was lewd. I mean, I wanted a shower after leaving the office. Gross. This whole, "you know you want to git wit it" garbage. No. No one wants to git with it. Learn how to speak a proper sentence! I know I'm more sensitive than most people, but I wanted to sage myself or douse Holy Water on me when I got home.

Back to the point. So I first came across Elle King on "Live from Daryl's House" and I love how real musicians can just jam without even rehearsing. Amazing.

This girl's voice is incredible, but it doesn't stop there. She knows how to play an instrument (at least one) and then, writes her own music. I also love that she's tough and doesn't care what people think. She's just doing her. When I listen to pop now, it's just sounding like noises and beats. I love how country and Nashville is still producing musicians!

When I went to see Cyndi Lauper, she's doing a country album as well -- and she is a musician! I love these people who continue to make music and don't become old news after one hit.

Protest all you want, but...

These riots are ridiculous. To the participation trophy generation, I want to let you know, that sometimes, you lose. It sucks. I've been watching Hallmark movies so I don't have to see the ugly. May I suggest you do the same?

Back to losing. My son played competitive league soccer, and here's the thing, it doesn't just suck, but there's always some (*(**&*& kid who taunts and plays rough and sneaks in a kick or a headbutt on your child during the game. As a parent, you pretty much want to torment that child for the rest of his life. You at least want to get a good punch in and teach him a lesson. But then, you see your son shaking hands at the end of the game, and you remember, oh. It's a game. It's about sportsmanship. My kid lost. That other kid will go on to become a serial killer, but whatever.

SUUUUUUCKS! But here's the thing. You learn to fight another day. So to the people who are rioting/protesting because your candidate didn't win: You're free to do it, of course (protest, not riot) but the country isn't going to say, "Oh, they're unhappy. Do over!!" It's not going to happen. We owe it to Trump to give the guy a chance. We owed it to Obama to do the same. We'd owe it to Hillary had she won. Because it's about our country. It's not about you or even the candidate.

I have to say, I was a little less fearful of Trump after watching, "The Crown" on Netflix. Dang, Winston Churchill, who basically saved the free world, was really a boorish man without a lot of grace. So there's that. Churchill had an awesome wife. A Churchill-Whisperer. I hope we can say the same in a year about Milania. You have to at least think it's cool that we have a hot first lady, no? Incidentally, Michelle Obama looks amazing in "Vogue" if you haven't seen the pictures.


If you're still unhappy, watch this. It will make you laugh at least.

#90DayFiance Big Question: Did Patrick's girlfriend bail after his treatment of Alla?

Matt annoys the heck out of me, I'll admit it. There's a reason he has to buy a bride from the Ukraine. He went through THREE wives here, and clearly, American women are the problem. So why not start on a new continent? A cold continent without an economy that might make a woman very amenable to moving to Kentucky. But Matt's friend/brother? Patrick is determined to get to the bottom of suspicious Alla -- who incidentally, is not suspicious at all. She's ready to make a deal with Matt and marry him. That's the deal. Her son gets a better life, Matt gets a partner. What is so hard for Patrick to understand? Still, after surprising Matt with the cheapest "stripper" in Kentucky, Patrick still thinks he gets to speak into his friend's life. He point blank asks Alla why she loves Matt. Alla is honest and says she's not there yet. She hasn't told Matt she loves him -- which now makes Matt desperate to hear it because he's easily played.

Alla is no fool. She asks Patrick why he cares. I mean, it's Matt's life. Subtext: Do you think he could get all this if I didn't want a better life for my son? Let me answer for you: NO! Sometimes, life is a business deal, not a fairy tale. Sad, but true.


As Patrick's GIRLFRIEND (apparently, not wife) sat through the awkward dinner where this conversation took place, she had to be second-guessing her life choices. Her subtext: Why is Patrick so concerned with Matt's life? I mean, dude, put a ring on it!

Chantel and Pedro I can't even watch. I forward through them. Pedro needs to run!

Nicole needs counseling and not Azan. Her mom needs to man-up and say something outright, not IMPLY that Nicole should make better choices. This is why I'm glad I'm an Italian mom. Like, I'm going to sit there quietly while my daughter leaves her child to chase after a man who thinks she's too fat. As she's eating her giant pile of mashed potatoes while back in the states, I have to ask her, "Nicole, is any man worth giving up mashed potatoes for?" I mean, maybe, but not Azan.


If Nicole were my daughter, I'd tell her, look, you're better than this. Lose some weight, get hot and send him a pic of all he missed. Problem solved.


Now, onto Anfisa. Can we start "Go Fund Me" page to send her home? She enjoys torturing Jorge and it's hard to watch. She doesn't mind if she ruins his business -- though how is he supposed to support her lifestyle, which she so obviously (to herself) deserves? Logic apparently has no place in this argument. Jorge's sisters tried to talk some sense into him, but he's got inner demons he's working with -- so he invited in a Russian one. Which I happen to know from my ghost shows is called a dybbuk. Or, in this case, Anfisa. In fairness though, she just needs to grow up and get a job. When she has to work for the things she wants, maybe she'll get a clue. In the meantime, she needs to go back to her bigger, better Russian apartment. Because it's not fun here in America. (Um, they are living right by Disneyland. Go visit it and get out of that sad, little apartment. Let Jorge work!)

I can't watch Mohamed and Danielle. They're too much a trainwreck. I haven't watched the wrap-up. Maybe my questions will all answered, but I feel like America is all full-up with crazy. We don't need to import any more.

What's in your handbag?

Yesterday, at Starbucks, I was coveting this woman's tiny Chanel bag. Not because I really like Chanel -- I'd rather have part of a new car -- but because I couldn't fit my life into a tiny Chanel bag if I wanted to. I wondered, what do these women do in life (or not do?) to fit the contents of daily living in that bag?


For one thing, my wallet wouldn't fit in it. I've tried other wallets, but I always come back to Hobo. Love Hobo wallets. My current one is black -- and kind of giant. But it fits everything.


So here's what it's my handbag -- and it won't fit into a Chanel bag. It doesn't even seem like much to me. My life isn't that compact though and this makes me sad. Could you use a small handbag if necessary?


Boy George on #RHOBH

Beverly Hills is my favorite of the housewives franchises, but this added bonus of Boy George has me just a little giddy! There's a new British housewife in town -- FYI, don't ask me why I like the Brits here in America, but that "Ladies of London" show is insufferable. I digress. Dorit Kemsley is married to Paul Kemsley, who apparently has Boy George as a client.

I have always LOVED Boy George. He has an amazing personality and I hope he gets to sparkle a little bit amongst the housewives. I can totally see him hanging out with Erika Jayne. Let me reiterate. Boy George AND the housewives. I mean, could it get any better for vapid television? I think not.

There's also a new addition of Vidal Sassoon's daughter, Eden. She runs a pilates studio. She doesn't look nearly as interesting to be honest, but I'll reserve the right to change my mind.


The franchises are getting kind of stale, so I hope a little '80's greatness can revive it. Maybe not. It seems like the women don't have much of a vocabulary outside of the "F" bomb. Sadness. I took the video down, but you can see it here. It's really too high in fake conflict for me. Seriously, this new gal? Her husband manages Boy George and Pele. She's a designer herself, and she has two darling kids. Can't we just peek into their magnificent lives without fake catfights by women abusing Xanax and wine?