Andy Cohen is replacing Kathy Griffin on New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper. Meh.
"The Theory of Happily Ever After" Revised Cover

National "Cat" Day

Last week was National Cat Day. I know this because my blog provider encouraged me to celebrate! This is not easy for me as I have the cat from the dark side. First off, I'm a dog person and not really a cat fan to begin with, but my daughter convinced me that a cat would be the perfect companion for her. I relented when I saw this shy little kitten in my daughter's arms.

When I first adopted a kitten for my daughter, I had dreams of warm nights curled up in a blanket watching movies and drinking cocoa by the fire. But this is my life and that was not to be my story.


Look how cute and sweet he was. My son named him "Spartacus." This was probably a bad choice. Spartacus was violent and my cat? My cat is out for blood. First off, I should have learned about breeds. Mine turned out to be some kind of Turkish Van. They are active cats. They are hunters. This cat has the loudest MEOW known to man. But we'll come back to that.

I should start with the good stuff. Spartacus is gorgeous! I mean, he's like the young Mel Gibson of cats. He feels like a mink coat. So luxurious and rich. And he holds himself well. Like he's 100x better than you and you'll never be worthy.

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But he was mischievous from the start and could not sit still to save his life. I thought cats were supposed to sleep?


But this cute, little kitten kept growing. When my son Skyped me from the Marines, he said, "What the heck are you feeding that cat? It's like a mountain lion?"

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Okay, for those people out there who think you can make ALL cats indoor cats, you have not met Spartacus. He's a demon cat who will attack to get outside and hunt. This cat wants to hunt 24/7 -- and the hunts have resulted in my nightmares. This is a barn cat. He was never meant to be in the city. But here is our story. Spartacus is loud. Like wake-up-the-neighbors loud, so if you don't let him out, your neighbors are going to knock on your door and force you to do so. Same goes for when he wants inside. Let's start with our first "cute" story.

At 5:30 a.m., he meowed like the devil and my daughter was having a sleepover in the living room, so she opens the door. To Spartacus with a live mouse in his mouth. Mouse promptly gets free and goes under the fridge. Where it hides out until the next day, it is IN my daughter's bed LOOKING at her. Honestly, I about died. My daughter, an animal lover, was not amused, but we got the mouse out and life moved on.

Fast forward to the RAT phase. Spartacus brought a ROOF rat upstairs (not inside this time, praise the Lord!) Of course, my daughter being the animal lover could not kill it, so she went and got gloves to try and rescue the rat. Rats are rats for a reason. This resulted in a trip to the ER and a promise that my daughter would never try to "rescue" a rat again.

This cat, though white as a ghost can catch anything. Birds, hummingbirds, rats, rodents and on a happy note, we have cherries and grapes now because a bird won't get within feet of that backyard. But I'm not sure this "rescue" cat has been good for the ecosystem overall. I know it hasn't been good for my well-being. Or our dog's -- who he traumatizes. But I love this monster. He's an amazing cat -- just not the cuddly, sweet knitting partner I was expecting.

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On a happy note, I found out Turkish Vans live about 18 years, so the fun is just starting with this one.