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Judge not, that ye be not judged. -- Rant Ahead on Domestic Abuse in Christian Homes

It has come to my attention that a friend who left her sociopath husband has been judged by other Christian women for her decision.

May I just say that if you don't live in a home, you have NO idea what is going on. If you have a sweet and tender husband, thank your lucky stars. Be grateful to God for His provision in your life, but do not judge someone who has a different journey. By the way, abusers LOVE Christians and pastors like you. You help him abuse. You help him convince his wife she's crazy and sinful and deserves his punishment. Yay for you!

If you have ever seen the show "Evil Lives Here" about people who live with a sociopath (who is often out killing, raping, etc. while they are at home caring for their families) people will judge the wife on Twitter. "Oh come on, she had to know he was out doing this."

Maybe she did. Maybe she didn't have the power to leave him because of financial abuse, lack of family support and nowhere to go. Maybe her husband has threatened the children if she leaves. In other words, maybe you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

In the case of Susan Hamlin, a LAWYER and mother of four (this is not a stupid person's issue, nor a poor one's) she lived an outward life of an upstanding, upper-class family. They attended church and were well-respected in their community. The husband was a powerful defense attorney in Sacramento.

At home? He was mentally and physically torturing his family. He had convinced his kids that their mother had a demon and the other actually confessed to cops that she was sexually abusing her children (she was not) and that she was a high priestess in a satanic cult (she was not.) She did all of this to get free of her husband so her kids would be safe and she would not die. If this family came to church, would you tell her how lucky she was to have such a beautiful family?


On the outside? This family looked normal. They attended church. But Susan Hamlin was so mentally tortured, she put on the show rather than pay with her husband's fists when she got home later. So again, if you're judging a woman for leaving a marriage because they're "not Christian" maybe you should look within and see who is actually not being Christian.

God does not care more about an abusive marriage than he cares about a soul and this woman was willing to give up her soul to get out of this nightmare she lived in, so as Christians, we really need to ask ourselves if we're saving a marriage or destroying souls. And again, if you have a wonderful Christian husband, please go kiss him and tell him how grateful you are to God, but please keep your mouth shut if you're going to tell a woman she could have done more. You have no idea of which you speak.

Susan Hamlin's full story can be seen below. And FYI, you can see the trauma in her words STILL. Years later as her husband is in jail for torturing his family. His family, however, still lives with the mental destruction he caused. They will never be free. I am very tempted to go right to the source and give her a piece of my mind, but I'm refraining. I'd love to name and shame them, but I won't. I do hope they understand how they are helping an abuser to abuse.

#HouseHunting -- Model home envy.

This weekend, my son and his wife were here and we went through all the model homes in the area looking for a starter home. Here's the thing about model homes. When you come home, your place looks like a dump -- no matter how nice it is. You have stuff on the counters, messy tchotchkes, books in the bookshelves, etc. Your house is lived in! Let me state that I love my house. I walked into it last August for about ten minutes and knew it was mine. I told my friends that it was like that movie, "Miracle on 34th Street" and my grandfather wanted me to have that house. Yes, they gave me the look you're probably all giving me right now. (My grandfather died in 2015 at 100-years-old.)

This house did not have my white kitchen. It had a hickory wood kitchen that I knew I could never paint over because my grandfather's voice would be telling me never to cover good wood. It had the same arches that my grandparents' house had (my grandpa built their house.) And it was in Arizona -- where August temps are typically over 110 degrees -- and I hate the heat. But somehow, I knew this was my house, so imagine my surprise when I found out it was sold already. NOOOOO!!! I went home to California dejected, certain I'd never find another home like it, and upset that I'd misunderstood this wasn't my house. There was no Santa cane in the corner.


Well, the next week the house fell out of escrow and I jumped. But there was another offer and I had to make a decision that day. So after spending ten minutes in this house on my way to Mexico with my friend Colleen and family, I bought a house. Over the phone. In a bidding war.

However, no one had time to redo the flooring when I moved in because it was right before Christmas. So I moved in on someone else's carpet. Which grossed me out, but didn't undo me until I went through the model homes this weekend. Then I knew that it was time to fix the flooring. So that's my goal this week. I'm getting a wood-look tile. And from here on out, I'm letting the kids go househunting on their own so it doesn't cost me too much money.